Washingdad one shots!

10 times Alex was being himself (and 1 more time Washington played along)pt2

I lied I made a part two it's just so much fun.

ALSO I'M SORRY I DISAPPEARED FOR 2 WEEKS I WAS REALLY BUSY I ALMOST GOT INTO A FIST FIGHT WITH A TEACHER.

Don't blame me blame the generator I got these from.

1: "There is no I in team, but there is an one in pizza." Alexander said as he opened the box of pizza on the kitchen table. "So you're not gonna share?" Washington asked, used to his son's antics by now. "I'm not going to share." Alexander responded, mouth full of pizza.

2: "I personally don't think it's possible to come up with a crazier plan" Washington said as he went over attack plans against the British with his son. "We could attack them with hummus." Alexander suggested. "I stand corrected." Washington said, taking a shot just to try and block out Alexander. "Just keeping things in perspective." Alexander shrugged.

3: "Well, the new voting laws could provide very positive results for the country as a whole." Washington said at dinner. Alexander rolled his eyes. "What? Why do you have such an attitude tonight?" Washington asked. "Why does it seem like every time you talk to us, you end up talking about politics? Is your life so unimaginably dull that you can't think of any events in your life to describe that might be more interesting than the politics? Let's think of something for you to talk about other than the politics. I mean, we barely know anything about you, other than where you live. Let's start there. What do you do for a living?" Alexander finished his rant and looked at his father. "I'm the president." Washington deadpanned.

4: "Mint is just cold spicy..." Alexander observed during dinner. There was absolute silence, until finally, Washington said something. "What the actual fuck is wrong with you." He said, more like a statement. Alexander just smiled and shrugged.

5: "Washington! I rebuke thee! I rebuke thee!" Alexander yelled when his dad turned off the show he was watching. "Rebuke? Is that a word?" His father asked. "You have all invoked my fury! You will all pay recompense for your transgressions!" Alexander snapped back from the couch, arms crossed. "What, you got like a word-a-day calendar or something?" Washington asked. "Martha, our kid is broken!" He called up the stairs.

6: Alexander, in the middle of dinner, pulled out a cup of water. From like, nowhere. "Where did you get that from?" Washington asked in that voice you use on little kids. "My pocket." Alexander shrugged. "How the hell do you store a glass of water in your pocket?" Washington asked. "Skills." Alexander said as he walked away, taking the water with him. Washington slammed his head into the table and groaned. No amount of parenting books could prepare him for this.

7: "Can you pass the salt?" Washington asked his son what should've been a completely normal question, but of course, with Alexander, that was impossible. "Can you pass away?" Alexander snapped. "Too much salt." Washington mumbled, reaching across the table and getting it for himself.

8: Washington was recently going on that kick that all dads go on, which was trying new recipes that always turn out bad somehow. He placed a plate of tonights middle school art project in front of Alexander, and he took a forkful of it. "Have I ever told you that you're an amazing cook?" Alexander asked after he did his best to swallow the atrocity his father dared to call food. "No, thanks though?" Washington smiled. "Then why do you keep cooking?" Alexander glared at Washington as he got up to make himself a pb&j.

9: "Wasn't Icarly that guy that girlbossed too close to the sun because he was down for Apollo?" Alexander asked in the middle of his dad's long, boring talk about something that Alexander wasn't listening to. "ICARUS?" Washington asked, hoping never to hear a sentence like that out of his son again. He was going to need harder alcohol.

10: "Hey Washington?" Alexander asked around 3 am while he helped his dad finish some work. "Yeah son?" Washington asked tiredly. "What's your favorite color of the alphabet? True or false?" Alexander asked seriously. Washington stopped writing to turn around and stare at his son. "What the fuck." Was all he was able to get out.

Plus one time Washington played along:

"Silence is golden." Alexander said out loud during a particularly quiet dinner, in an attempt to be poetic. "Duck tape is silver." Washington said, glaring at his son before they both started laughing.