Accidental Infidelity (Heartbreak Diary #1)

Kabanata 1

Kabanata 1

Accidental Infidelity

Ryker and I met when we were in grade school. Transferee ako sa school nila kaya noong unang pasok ko, wala talaga akong masyadong kinausap. I was an introverted child, and I have always associated myself with just reading books and playing alone in my room. So a few weeks after I transfered, I was shocked to see him waiting for me in front of my desk. Pinagtatawanan niya pa nga ang ibang drawing na naroon sa desk kung saan ako ipinuwesto ng aming teacher. Back then, students were obsessed with vandalism especially on desks.

I thought Ryker was making fun of me when he said that he wanted to be friends with me. Nagtaas pa ako ng kilay sa kaniya. Why wouldn't I? The kid was popular among our class. Pansin kong marami siyang kaibigan sa ibang section at saka palagi siyang maraming kasama sa tuwing lumalabas ng classroom.

I wanted to reject his offer but I realized, he was the first ever boy to ask me if I can be friends with him. Bilang bata na lumaking walang masyadong mga kaibigan, I felt overwhelmed with the offer. Kaya siguro sinubukan kong maging kaibigan niya.

Ryker had so many friends. Hindi ko rin alam kung kaibigan din ba ang turing nila sa akin gayong magkaibigan naman kami ni Ryker. Pero isinasama naman nila ako kaya sa isip ko tanggap na rin naman nila ako.

We were graduating in grade school when I realized they didn't really want me as their friend. Kesyo bakit daw ang aga kong umuwi kung pwedeng maglaro naman muna, bakit ang tahimik ko raw at bakit ba si Ryker lang ang kinakausap ko. Some girls were mocking me and bullying me. They even made a conclusion that maybe I only talked to Ryker because I liked him.

And when Ryker heard of it, he tried to tell them that I was just like that. Na baka hindi pa talaga ako komportable sa kanila. Ryker was right, though. I wasn't comfortable with so many crowds. Naninibago pa ako sa mga bagong kilala kaya si Ryker lang ang nakakausap ko. He would cheer me up, he would buy and give me food for free and he was willing to read some books with me. Kaya kahit si Ryker lang ay sapat na sa akin.

And even through the years, I only have one trusted friend in school. Pakiramdam ko simula nang maging magkaibigan kami, my decisions depended on him. Kung saan siya ay roon din ako. I was his tail and I didn't mind that people are teasing us that we should just get married because we were perfect for each other. Siguro kung pareho kami ng nararamdaman, matagal ko na sana siyang tinanong kung kailan kami ikakasal.

But too bad, Ryker told me that he won't risk our friendship for some kind of bullshit. He knows how romantic relationship works. Of course, he knew how it works.

I remember that time when he told me that he likes someone when we were in high school. Third year na kami no'n. That time around, I also realized I had this tiny crush on him. Hindi naman halata iyon sa akin dahil hindi naman ako madaling mabasa. I warned myself that it was just a tiny crush and it'll disappear soon. But it didn't. Kaya noong sabihin sa akin ni Ryker na may gusto siyang babae, parang nagwala rin ang isip ko.

I thought he was pertaining to me, but I realized we've been friends for years and it was impossible for him to like me. At isa pa, alam kong hindi niya ako bukambibig sa mga ibang kaibigan niya. They knew me already. I knew the type of girl he wants. Maganda, mahinhin, at alam niyang gusto rin siya. Ryker likes it easy.

"I really like Jorin, El. Hindi mo ba talaga ako ilalakad?" he pleaded. Abala ako sa paggawa ng assignment namin at iyon pa talaga ang kaniyang inuna.

"Ry, hindi kami masyadong close. At saka, kung gusto mo siya bakit hindi mo sabihin sa kaniya?"

Nagkamot siya ng pisngi. "What if she doesn't like me?"

"Dude, have you seen yourself?"

"El, hindi lang naman mukha ang basehan para magustuhan mo ang tao."