Mahogany Blues

27

She knew that she had fucked up big time, there was no denying that she allowed her demons to finally win once again. All she could see was the disappointment and hurt etched on his face.

Why do I keep doing this?

"Sabrina Appiah"

She stood up as she heard her name called out and made her way to the doctor's room. She was just nervous as she sat down with the doctor, ready to hear the verdict.

" So, Sabrina, you're not pregnant at all. It seems that you had two false positives on the tests you took before. As for nausea, that is something that can just happen during your menstrual cycle, it just coincidentally happened when you took the tests. That's all" the doctor finished reading the results.

" Oh, I see. Well, erm,...thanks, Doctor." Sabrina stood, feeling relieved more than anything

"No worries, Sabrina. These things do happen"

Sabrina simply nodded, gathering her things to leave the room. On her way out, she knew that she had to let Levi know as soon as possible.

She approached her car, thinking of how she should tell him but she didn't know how. Sitting inside, she opted to keep it simple.

Levi

Hey, I just wanted to let you know that I'm not pregnant

Seen

This user has blocked you.

She was in disbelief that he blocked her so quickly but in a small part of her mind, she knew that he was right to feel the way he was feeling. She had to accept that this may be the last time they might ever contact each other and that was a sad thought.

Time seemed to go slower than usual as she finally got to the office she had been dreading to be at: her therapist's. It had been a while since she had been here,  it wasn't somewhere she particularly enjoyed coming to but it was clear to her that she was spiralling again and she just needed somebody to talk to.

Entering the office, she saw a familiar face at the reception desk, Andrea. She was starting to feel a little anxious about coming back here but she knew deep down here that this was needed.

Andrea gave her a small smile, opening the door to a room that had shaped so much of her teens and early 20s. Sitting on her accustomed sofa, Dr Tatum offered a warm smile that Sabrina had become used to over time.

"Sabrina, good to see you, here again." Dr Tatum gestured for her to sit down. 

" I feel a little nervous since it's been a while, you know..."

" Well, let's talk about that. Your nerves are valid, time has passed and you also changed too. So I do not expect you to be calm given that you haven't been here in so long so no worries there. Let's get into why you are here now."

Sabrina looked down into her hands, letting out a small sigh. "So, I think I've spiralled again but it's not about my mum this time. It's about a...man that I was dating, he's younger and from America and the total opposite of me. I felt like it was becoming too overwhelming for me, we started quite casual but the romantic attraction was instantaneous. Like it couldn't be ignored,  we were so drawn to each other that we tried the first time and broke it off. Then there was a reconciliation, it felt like it was moving in a better way and it was, he met my dad too! But I had a pregnancy scare recently, letting him know that but I didn't believe he was ready for a baby and I saw my chance to sabotage the relationship so I...did. Now, we are here, talking about it"