Learn to Love Again

L'Amour...

"You be good for Granny ok? We'll be back in a couple of days." Tom knelt and hugged Jamie, ruffling his hair.

"See you soon mum, thanks again" he kissed his Mum on her cheek and turned to Jenny.  "Ready love?" He smiled but it didn't reach his eyes.

Jenny turned and hugged Jamie, "see you soon little man, look after Granny ok?"

"Yes mum, you have fun. Enjoy Paris

be great, especially..."

"JAMIE!" Diana grabbed him and put a finger to his lips.  He giggled and shrugged "sorry!"

"Have a wonderful time my darlings" Diana reached over Jamie and hugged her, whispering "it will all be ok. He's scared. Talk to him.  You promised each other. Talk to him." She winked as she pulled back and Jenny nodded.

"I hope so" she said quietly and followed Tom out to the waiting taxi.

It was almost 8pm when they walked back out of their hotel to go for dinner.  They'd spotted a little restaurant across the road, it looked simple and pleasant. They weren't staying anywhere very posh, the hotel was clean, comfortable and family run in Montmartre. A warren of streets filled with artists studios, boutiques and bistros. Patisseries and cafes. A perfect antidote to their busy lives.

Looking out the window, they could see the Sacre Coeur on one side and in the distance the Eiffel Tower, now known to them personally as the Paris  Rocket.

Sitting in the restaurant, they walked on eggshells around each other. It wasnt unpleasant, but it wasnt the evening either would have wanted in the most romantic of cities.

Eventually they were done. The meal was lovely, no wine for Jenny of course, but Tom had some. Probably a tad too much if he was honest the thought as they made their way back to their hotel.

"Jenny" he turned to her, emboldened by the warm and spicy merlot now in his system "Jenny I do love you, you know that don't you?" He looked at her, just a tad unsteadily.

"Yes of course I do Tom. Hell, you brought me to Paris!" She smiled.  Tipsy Tom was a new experience.

"I, I just want you to know because I, well need to be on my own for a little while. Please don't worry. I'll be back, just don't wait up. Ok?"

She looked at him and felt a tear trickle down her cheek. Wiping it away angrily, she nodded. Diana's words echoed in her head. 'Hes scared'.  What made her annoyed was she was bloody terrified and he didnt seem to notice.

"Ok love. Be careful ok?" She kissed his cheek and crossed the road, going into the Hotel and up to their room. She looked out the window, he was still standing across the street, watching. She waved and he raised a hand, then turned and walked back the way they'd come. She watched as he sat at a table in a nearby bar.  She closed the curtains and went to bed.

It was gone 3am when a drunk Tom crept into the room.  He tried to be quiet, he really did, but naturally Jenny was still awake.  He plonked himself down heavily on the chair beside her and looked at her very lopsidedly.

"I love you" he said softly "I reaaaallly love you."

"Come to bed Tom, you're drunk." She couldn't bring herself to be angry. He was a lost soul. She pulled the quilt back and sat on the edge of the bed. A small wave of nausea rolled over her and she sat with her hand on her mouth for a moment, just in case.

Tom, despite the drink, despite the dark, moved to put his hands on her knees.  "Does anything need you love?" He managed to say, sounding almost coherent. She stifled a giggle.  Tipsy Tom was, if nothing else sweetly funny.