Learn to Love Again

Shock and Awe

When Jenny woke the next morning, she felt like nothing was impossible. Well, almost nothing. She'd find it impossible to stop smiling. As she looked at the time, almost 6am, she realised she would have to get up early. Well, she could hardly do the walk of shame to school and teach in the same clothes two days in a row now, could she?

Carefully, she peeled back the quilt and moved the dead weight from across her chest. The dead weight snuffled and stretched over to wrap itself around her again. She smiled and decided she could always wear a shirt today instead of a jumper. A man's shirt. Settling back down, she snuggled in, and Tom kissed her sleepily.

"Morning love," he said quietly into her neck and smiled.

"Morning," she whispered back. "I've decided to wear something of yours today."

"Apart from my kisses, you mean?" he grinned against her, and she slapped his arm gently.

"That was completely and utterly cheesy! Even for you, Tom!" he nodded, his eyes still closed. "I'll need to borrow a toothbrush, too. I assume we don't need to explain all this to JJ?" The last bit was more serious. He'd accepted that his Dad and his beloved teacher loved each other, but he'd also seemingly accepted her spending the night.

He may only be seven and not know the technicalities, but he knew she'd slept in his Dad's bed. He knew they had been wrapped in each other's arms. He knew there had been "grownup" cuddles. How did he know all this? Because at that very moment, he was snuggled in between them, sound asleep, where he had been since about 3 am.

They'd fallen asleep late, having eaten and talked, kissed, and fallen into bed in the consummation of the love and desire they'd kept hidden so long. It had been almost silent, touch replacing sound. Even as they came together in a shared and long overdue high, it had been breathless and wide-eyed. Afterwards, as they slept, bodies entwined, the door had creaked open, and a little sleepy form had flopped onto them, burrowing its way under the quilt.

Arms had moved, and bodies shifted as they formed a snug little unit. For the first time in a very long time, Tom and Jamie slept together, protected by the arms of a woman. A woman who loved them both more than anything. A woman who would do anything to keep them both safe and happy.

She would have to.

The alarm went off at 7.45, and Jenny sat up with a start. The bed was empty, no Tom and no Jamie. She could hear voices floating up from the kitchen.

"Go and wake her, she'll be late for school."

"No, Dad, that's YOUR job. She's YOUR girlfriend! I have to eat my toast."

She lay back on the pillows and laughed. This was all too surreal. Never in a million years would she have predicted this. Or anything close to it. Still smiling, she wandered through to the bathroom then got ready. Pulling a white shirt from Tom's wardrobe, she secured it over her skirt with the belt from her waistband. Running a brush through her hair and popping it into a ponytail took care of that.

She padded downstairs and into the kitchen just in time to hear Tom say to Jamie, "Now son, you know when you're at school it's still going to be Miss Grey, don't you? You can't call her anything else when she's teaching."

"I KNOW Dad," he replied, exasperated at his annoyingly dim father. "I'll only call her mum here!"

There was a sudden and complete silence apart from a tiny "oh my!" that escaped her lips as her hand covered her mouth. Jamie turned and looked at her with a flash of a smile and skipped over, clasping her hand.

"but only if that's ok?" he looked at Jenny and then Tom. Tom blanched and nodded silently, unable to speak. He could hardly feel betrayed, Jamie hadn't known his mother. Ever. Any feelings of betrayal had to come from Tom, and only Tom. Jenny wasnt to blame, she had never once made any move on this.

Jenny saw Tom's distress and quickly pulled Jamie to sit with her at the table.

"Now Jamie, that's a lovely thought, but why? Why do you want to call me that?" she tried to gently coax it out of him without making him feel like he had done anything wrong.

"Welllll," he wriggled in his seat "I was thinking, before I went to sleep" he looked at them both and they nodded in unison, wondering where on earth this was going.

"Go on" Tom said faintly, sitting down at the table, Jenny taking his hand too.

"I was thinking. Mum - my original mum, was my mother and she will always be my mother. And we both will always love her eh Dad?" Turning to Jenny he added " She and Dad had me. That's just true."

He sounded like he was explaining quantum mechanics to idiots, which in truth they probably were at that point. Again, dumbly they nodded. "Sooooo, to me, a mother has you. A mum is someone who loves you, kisses you, hugs you, feeds and cares for you. Takes you places and teaches you. And they make your Dad happy. All the time. Even when he's sad." He shrugged "it's simple. You've done ALL since I was just little AND you teach all the other boys and girls." He stood and took her hand.

"So you see it's true, Miss. You're a mum - you just don't know it is all it is. Dad chose you to be his new girlfriend, didn't he?" She nodded, barely holding it together. " So," he shrugged,"I choose you to be my new Mum" he looked at them both in triumph. He'd obviously given this a lot of thought.

Jenny couldn't speak. She couldn't utter a single sound other than a strangled sob. Tom scooped him into his arms, tears coursing down his face.

"My beautiful boy, my wonderful boy," was all he could say then, "If you want Jenny as your mum,that's fine by me. And your... Mother."

"I KNOW Dad!" he said again, like Tom was the seven year old and not him, "She told me this morning when I spoke to her picture. Like I always do."

"What?" Tom stopped and stared.

"I speak to her all the time. It was just a little harder cos she moved to the big shelf." He smiled, "but that's ok, I can talk to her anywhere, not just there. And she likes YOU very much," he turned to Jenny,"but now, I need to get ready for school. My teacher won't be pleased if I'm late."

Without further comment, he gave a happy smile and ran upstairs to get his shoes on. He couldn't see anything wrong in his world. Everything was sorted.

What he didn't see was the aftermath. Two sobbing, snivelling "grownups" holding each other and who were simply in awe of one small, wonderfully astute, boy.

A boy they would come to rely on more than they ever thought possible.