Learn to Love Again

Time to reflect...

"I'm sorry Tina, truly I am." He kissed her cheek and she climbed onto the train.

"It's ok Tom, I'm a big girl." She smiled at him from the top step. "It was fun. See you soon ok." She blew him a kiss and turned away to find her seat. As she sat down, the train to London pulled away taking her back. She'd been under no illusions. The walls in Tom's house weren't as thick as perhaps he thought. She'd heard everything. He wasn't the only one who could act.

As the train gained speed, she pulled out her phone. After checking her hair in the camera, she pulled up her call list. Selecting a name, she pressed call and settled back.

"Tracy? Hi hun. You free for drinks tonight? Have I got gossip for you lovey!"

Tom watched the train depart. She'd taken it remarkably well, all things considered. But then, he got the distinct impression he wasn't her first celebrity conquest. Oh well, he'd done worse than sleep with a coworker. He'd pissed off the woman he loved.

He had the day to himself. JJ had gone to school before Tom and Tina had got up. Granny being her usual efficient self, getting him up and organised and at the same time, managing to avoid an awkward morning conversation at the breakfast table.

He pulled up outside the house and sat for a minute. Should he just chill, watch some tv? Should he go for a run? He had till 3.30, when JJ finished school - over five hours. He had a sudden thought. Smiling to himself, he put the car in gear and drove away again. It wouldn't take very long to organise, but he'd have the rest of the afternoon to complete his idea. He'd make dinner. A very special dinner. For him, for JJ and, he crossed his fingers, for Jenny.

Wandering around the supermarket, he pulled together everything he would need to make a lasagne. From their conversations over the years, he knew Jenny loved it. Fortunately, both he and JJ did too. He allowed himself a little daydream that one day they'd even all eat it together in Italy. Last on the list was a nic3 bottle of red for him and Jenny and a special bottle of ginger beer for JJ. Might as well push out the boat he shrugged with a smile.

Shopping done, he headed home. Soon he was up to his elbows in flour, egg yolks and wrestling with a long unused pasta machine. Now he realised why pre-made pasta was invented!

Jenny watched the clock go backwards. Well, that's how it felt. Today had been a long week. When JJ had arrived with Diana, he'd smiled at her and she'd whispered "thank you" as he passed. His face had beamed as he sat at his desk.

Diana had pulled her to the side before she left. "I'm heading up to London today, visiting some old friends so it will be Tom picking JJ up. I'm staying overnight. Oh and the temporary houseguest will be leaving today." She looked at Jenny with a smile. "It seems there was a bit of a misunderstanding. I'm sure it's all sorted out now." She put a hand on her arm "be patient with him Jenny, and forgive yourself. See you tomorrow." She smiled and patted her arm then walked off.

Jenny watched for a minute then, hearing the volume start to rise in her classroom, took a breath and turned round.

"Right my little precious little sponges, what can I get you to soak up today? How about we start with spelling....."

The collective groans, worthy of any oscar performance, made her smile as she closed the classroom door and began.

Tom stood back and admired his handiwork. It looked good enough to eat! Not only had he made the main course, he'd made a victoria sponge for after. He put it under a clean teatowel and put the pasta dish in the fridge. Lasagne prepared, all he had to do was pop it in the Aga before he collected JJ. By the time they got back and they'd played a bit and talked a bit it would be ready.

He always made time to play with JJ when he was home. Time went by so quickly that he wanted as many memories for them both as possible. He'd only been with Claire five years in total, married for three when she died. She'd been gone longer than she'd been in his life, but the precious memories stayed. The trips abroad. The trips to the beach. The art galleries, the museums. The picnics on a rug in front of their own fire, pretending the heat was the summer sun when Claire was too pregnant to fly. Good times, good memories. He wanted that for JJ too.

He crossed the room and picked up their wedding picture from where it sat on the mantelpiece. Running his finger over it, he smiled. "I will always love you darling," he said out loud "but I know you understand. I adore being Jamie's dad but I need to be me too. I need to feel that spark again. Jenny is a good and kind woman. I know you'd like her. You're so different, yet so the same. It's time love. Watch over us, take care of us."

He paused and, taking a deep breath, put the photo frame together with his wedding ring, up on a high shelf. Not out of sight completely, just in the background. A part of him that would never be forgotten but he knew he was ready now. It was time to make new memories. He looked at his hand, naked now for the first time in well over ten years. He felt no regret, only hope.

Looking at his watch, he had an hour or so before he needed to collect JJ. Who knew making Lasagne and a cake could take so long? He really needed to get an electric whisk.

Sitting in the kitchen, drinking his tea, he looked out the window. Suddenly he smiled to himself. Just one last job to do before he went back to school. Wouldn't take long, he just needed a pair of scissors and a cloth....