A kiss with a fist

Moving Forward and Moving On

BRYSON P.O.V

I pray to never feel anything ever again. Because if this wears off, this is all going to hurt so much. This is going to hurt for the rest of my life.

"Are you sure you're ready to do this Bryson?" Trevor asked while loading another box into the moving van.

I nodded, "It's time for me to leave this place, I can't live here anymore. There is nothing here for me. This house-" I lifted my hand, pointing to my house. "Is filled with nothing but memories. Nobody lives here anymore... My sister lives with my aunt, my dad left, my mom is dead..."

He ran his hand through his hair. "I'm sorry about your mom man. I know that was tough after... You know."

I shook my head in agreement. "The doctor told me last week that it is likely it will be years till she wakes up you know."

He picked up another box and loaded it into the van. "I know."

"I mean, it's already been seven months. I'm not going to waste my life here pouting over the life I used to have. I need to move on..." I retorted back.

Trevor sat on the hood of my car, crossing his arms over his chest. "And what do you suppose you are gonna do when she wakes up?"

I took two beers off of one of the remaining boxes, opening mine, while handing him his. "Well let's just hope she forgets about me."

What I'm doing may seem cold. Wanting her to forget about me. Leaving her is the last thing that I thought I would do. But I cannot mourn on the fact that she may never wake up, I can't live in a place that has done nothing but screwed me over time after time. I need to leave this place and not look back.

"And if she doesn't?" He protested.

I sighed deeply. "If she doesn't... Well let's just hope she does."

I love her more then anything, more then anyone I have ever known. She was everything to me. I think that is why this hurts so bad. I let her become more important to me, than I was important to myself. If I could of took my life in the place of hers, I would have. That's what's wrong with me. I need to make sure that in my new life, that I will never do that again. All love does is fuck you over. I cannot go back to how things were, how things use to be. All I have is... now.

"We could really use you, you know? I'm sure Ace would take you in without a doubt." Trevor put forth.

I chugged down a good amount of my beer. "I know, but I can't. You have me misunderstood if you thought that I would choose that life over college life. That was Drucilla's thing. I did all of that for her."

I scratched his neck and look up at the sun. "You 'gonna visit her before you go?"

"No. If I see her before I leave, I won't be able to go." I reasoned while setting down the empty bottle and placing the last box in the van. "Are you sure you want to ride with me to campus?"

He opened the passenger door. "I wouldn't want to be anywhere else."

Trevor and I have grown pretty close after the incident. Of course I still have a grudge over Ace, I always will. What he did was beyond cruel.

We arrived at UCLA a few hours later, my dream college. Trevor helped me carry my belongings into the dormitory. I would of much rather preferred to live in an apartment not too far off campus. But freshman must stay in a dormitory their first year.

We brought the last two boxes up. I checked the other half of the room to see if my roommate came yet... guess not. I just hope he's not a douche.

Since my roommate is a no show so far, Trevor and I decided to check out the campus. It was really nice. We decided to grab a bite here before Trevor headed back home.