See You Around~ Grester (completed)

Chapter Sixty

Grace's POV

I visited Chester in hospital everyday for a few weeks, he was coming home soon but for the days he was still confined to his room I sat with him, holding his hand in a silence I couldn't determine as comfortable or the opposite.

I was getting used to the reality of what the few months would consist of and what the future entailed, it didn't seem as scary as a few days ago. Sure, I was terrified of doing one thing wrong and ruining everything but Chester, along with doctors and nurses, assured me things would only change slightly and it would soon go back to normal.

In the meantime I had been looking for antenatal classes to take, mostly to take my mind off things and to assure Chester that I still had kept my life even though he was in hospital. He told me he had wanted me to live as normal a life as I could, to pretend that nothing had changed. I couldn't and I knew that, but I tried to forget about that chapter in my life for a little while, for Chester.

The antenatal classes weren't what I had expected. I had assumed everyone would be stuck-up and in their own little bubbles but they were all very welcoming. I sat at the back next to a redheaded girl who looked over to me reassuringly as I nervously entered the room.

She carried on looking at me and when I looked back she smiled sweetly. It felt nice to see a smile that was actually genuine again.

"First time?" She asked, her voice full of interest and compassion, her head tilting down to my bump.

"Yeah it is. You?"

"No, third." She stated, her smile growing.

"Wow. I'm Grace." I said, it felt good to finally speak to people again, normality inching it's way further into my life.

"Mamrie."

The class ended before I knew it and I came out feeling worse than I had to begin with. It started off great, Mamrie and I had got along really well and at first it wasn't at all awkward but then all the partners joined.

The room was filled with couples and suddenly I felt secluded, isolated because I was alone. I know it was stupid to feel like that because Chester was right there but at the same time he wasn't. He wasn't there to do the exercises with me, he wasn't there for the couple work and he wasn't there for the support I needed, not physically. I was being selfish, I was aware of that but at the same time I believed my thoughts could be reasoned with. They were justifiable and I hated that; more than I hated him not being here.

I hated the fact he couldn't move, couldn't go on walks with me, couldn't run around and be idiots together. I had taken it all for advantage and only now when he was slipping away from me did I realise how much I needed to hold onto him.

But I felt like I had already let go. It was my fault, once again. I should've held on tighter and told myself it would get better but my mind was already cynical and the optimism was too hard to reconcile. I wasn't loosing him, he was loosing me. And there was nothing I could about it. He was almost too far away for me to bring back and my fantasies were trashed.

My baby wouldn't have an able-bodied father and I despised everything.