See You Around~ Grester (completed)

Chapter Thirty-Three

Grace's POV

I sat in the hospital chair, my leg bouncing as I waited for the nurse to approach. I felt a sudden wave of memories, when I was back in New York talking to the nurse about something that would change my life forever. I thought about how alone I was then, how vulnerable I felt without a hand to hold. I was terrified.

"It's going to be okay." His voice echoed through me. I felt his hand on mine, feeling as if I could finally breathe. I had to remind myself that it would be okay, I had to keep looking over to Chester- proving to myself that he was here; that it wasn't like last time.

"Grace Helbig?" The nurse called, making Chester abruptly stand. My legs weren't my so tolerant to move, refusing to cooperate as the fear travelled to every inch of my body. Chester pulled me up, informing me once again that it would all be okay.

"Through here.." The nurse instructed, leading me over to a bed. I began asking myself a million questions, each one making me even more nervous. Would it even work? Would it be painful? How long will I have to do this? Do I have to do this? I looked over to Chester, his face trying to show a brave facade but I could see him asking the same questions in his mind. I squeezed his hand, if I was strong he could be too.

"Okay, we decided on hormone therapy." The doctor began. I nodded slightly, not really sure what anything meant.

"This means that we will be injecting oestrogen and progesterone into your system which will affect the growth and activity of the cells which are cancerous. Hopefully, over time they will decrease until there aren't any cancer cells left in the body."

She looked me in the eyes as she said it, the contact making me feel uncomfortable. Her eyes were focused on Chester as she said the rest.

"The tablets you will have to take will have some side effects. With more female hormones in your body you will begin to feel bloated, breast tenderness, nausea and things like leg cramps and headaches but the result will be positive so try and remain optimistic."

Chester mentally took notes as she spoke, nodding frantically as if he had been instructed to keep the Crown Jewels safe. She told us about my prescription and I desperately tried to override my fear with optimism. We walked out the room, Chester's arm securing around my waist as we walked to the car.

I stayed silent for the journey, not finding the words to describe my emotion. I was scared: of the possibilities of this going wrong, of the side effects, of the future. Although the other side of me was pulsing with anticipation, part of me was excited to begin this roller coaster. I didn't know if this was the right thing I should be feeling, I was questioning everything. I tried to see this as a new leaf, a new beginning. A step in the right direction, the road to a better life.

The cancer hadn't really taken over my life until these last few days although I didn't tell anyone, not even Chester. I didn't like him seeing me weak even though I knew he was the one person who could make me strong again. I hated being fragile in front of people so I sucked up the pain, the tiredness and all the times I wanted to burst into a million tears; putting on a brave face and pretending I was okay. I had got quite good at that but it seems there are only a certain number of fake smiles you can make before eventually you fall down.

The tears fell down my cheeks like a waterfall, as if someone had turned the tap on and they came gushing out in a flood of anger. I hadn't cried this much in a long time. My guard fell, my body weakening as every muscle became a thousand pounds heavier. I hated being like this, faltering at the first hurdle but I had no strength left to keep running the race, to keep jumping. I didn't care about winning, I didn't mind watching everyone run past me, I just wanted to be my own person; I felt as if I had been robbed of that too.

"Grace? Gracie come here." Chester whispered, his voice was like velvet. As if he was talking to small baby, as if he was saying his final goodbye to someone he loved. He seemed to understand through four words and I was lured into his body. I shuffled over to him, his arms wrapping around me as he held me tightly. I felt safer at his touch, his voice warming me as it travelled throughout my body.

"Hey, hey it's okay. Shh, don't worry. Remember what we said about positivity? About staying strong? And remember when I said that you can hold my hand through it all? Hold it Grace." I wrapped my fingers around his hand, they locked into place.

"Hold on as tight as you can. Draw all strength from me okay? Do you feel how I'm not going anywhere? Do you feel how stable and secure you hand is in mine?" I mumbled a quiet 'yes' as he squeezed my hand.

"Remember this feeling, of safety and security. Remember the way your hand feels in mine. How you always have my hand to hold if you ever feel like you can't stand up by yourself. It's right here."

I wrapped both my hands around his and he rested his head on mine. He could always make my tears vanish, he could always make my body pulse back with life. I was forever grateful for everything he did, everything he said. He could light up the whole of New York City, he could turn rain into a rainbow but he'd never know. He doesn't realise just how incredible he is, how much he means to me.

"Chester?" I whispered.

"Yeah?" He asked- his voice so innocent.

"I love you."