See You Around~ Grester (completed)

Chapter Seventeen

Chester's POV

I had told myself so many times that it would be okay, to keep breathing in and keep breathing out. I knew that this was the end; my final goodbye and that scared me. I was not one to deal with goodbyes easily, I hated them especially the ones which were definite. I was not receiving an answer from my father, not today and not ever. I squeezed my eyes shut, forcing away the tears.  

I stood in front of the mirror, my hands shaking. In the reflection stood a man who I no longer knew. A black suit and a black tie he wore, with tear stained cheeks. I wanted to be able to stand in front of the mirror in a funeral suit with pride written across me. I wanted to show the world that I was okay, that I knew he would be somewhere watching upon me with eager eyes, amazed at my strength. But instead stood a cripple, a weak man who's complexion resembled sorrow. My hand lashed out and I punched the mirror, causing the glass to shatter and lay in pieces at my feet; I couldn't help but personify the glass as me. 

When I stood my feet lost balance and when I sat my legs shook. I clung to anything I could as I stumbled out the door, my eyes on the sky as we drove to the cemetery. I looked at the way the clouds moved, in big cults as the drifted across the blue canvas. They would travel a certain distance together and then break apart, forced alone. 

I walked with my father on my shoulder, his wooden coffin digging into my neck. My arms were weak and childlike but I remained strong, if this was the closest I was ever going to get to my dad I wanted him to see me strong, brave. The pity-full faces around me stared at me in empathy and my eyes stopped on Grace. I could see the tears reflecting off her pink cheeks, I could see how my sleepless nights had kept her awake and all of a sudden a guilt spread through the me. I was not good enough for her, I was not what she needed. She needed someone brave who could be her hero, someone who could look at life from the very best of perspectives and someone who could stay strong through every situation. I looked into her eyes and she looked down, as if confirming all my thoughts; she needed someone better. 

She held my hand through every second of the ceremony; her fingers locked round mine. I stared at the photograph of my dad, my eyes burning into his. His face seemed to be telling me something and I thought back to the last thing he had said to me. 

"Look after her Ches, she's too good to be letting go." 

The words pounded through my body, resonating throughout every inch if my corpse. I squeezed Grace's hand a little lighter, knowing that he was right, that I couldn't be letting her go. I had to be strong, I had to pull myself together. I had to keep my pain within myself and not burden her with it. She was mine and she was not going; I silently promised my dad, knowing he was up there looking down at me.