Who would have thought

48

Derek woke to lavender and warmth and immediately smiled. He was here. He was in her bed. After two days ago he was pretty sure he was never going to get this privilege again. He had thought he would never get to wake up holding Meredith Grey again. And yet he was here. He was here in her bed because everything had gone wrong. And she had come to him.

He hadn't been sure she would if things went wrong again. In the back of his head, he had always been a little worried she wouldn't come to him if her life fell apart again. Not that her life had fallen apart almost fourteen ago. But she had been dealt a blow, and instead of crawling into herself, instead of pushing him away, she had come straight to him.

He was pretty sure she hadn't planned on it. Because there was some look on her face when he had said her name that he was pretty sure was shock, but she had still come. And then she had stayed. She had crawled into his arms and told him what was wrong. She gave him a look that screamed at him to fix this, to help this be better. So he had done what he could.

Which involved what he was doing now. Holding her as she slept, her hand linked with his as she softly breathed. She was beautiful. She had been shaky on the way home, panicky while he put her to bed, terrified as he held her close, whispering to her. But now she looked beautiful, calm, relaxed. He could only hope he had been able to help her with this curve ball.

They could figure this out together. When she woke up he could hold her and they could figure out exactly what they were supposed to do next. It was going to be them. He wasn't going to let her pull away this time and he got the distinct feeling she wasn't going to. The way she was clutching to him, completely and totally at peace, told him she was going to be okay. He was there.

Thirteen years earlier, she hadn't held on to him. She hadn't touched him. She hadn't sighed contentedly when he had pulled her into his arms. But she had this time. This time, she had needed his arms around her. This time, she had needed him. Even after a fight, even after a fight that had put their blossoming relationship in jeopardy, she had needed him.

And he was there. He hadn't even actually thought about it. When she had come into his office he hadn't thought about anything besides the fact she was obviously in shock over something and she had needed him. He hadn't known what to say, he still wasn't sure what to say but he could hold her. He could hold her and hope that in some way the arms helped.

She moved slightly and he smiled, tightening his arms around her as she turned over, cuddling into his chest, her fingers moving over his t-shirt. He still couldn't believe he was in her bed. He had been sure he wouldn't be, he was sure his small mistake had been enough to end this. She was still so distrustful of him, still couldn't give herself completely to him, which terrified him.

He had to win that back. He wasn't sure what it would take, he was pretty sure it was just going to be home but he had to get it back. He needed her to trust that even if he messed up occasionally he would always be there for her, always make anything up to her and always be this guy. Because he was pretty sure at this point he was just being exactly who he wanted to be.

He wanted to be the first person she came to when the world was falling apart. He wanted to be the person she could trust no matter what. He wanted to be the person she wanted to hide in bed with when she felt the urge to avoid. Thirteen years ago, he had thought he wanted to be a doctor more than anything in the world. Being a world class surgeon paled in comparison to being Meredith's avoiding buddy.

And everything else, they would figure it out together. He wasn't actually sure how. This was kind of big even for him, surprise half sisters she had never even known about but they would do it together. They could face whatever this turned into together. Meredith's father had chosen another family over her, which made the man a bigger idiot than Derek had always thought, but they could figure this one out.