Who would have thought

24

"Watch for that rock, Mer," Derek smiled as he reached his hand out for Meredith to grab on to.

"I still don't believe Mark actually does this," Meredith rolled her eyes as she grabbed his hand and landed softly next to him.

"Only when I make him," Derek laughed. "He bitches more than you do."

"I haven't bitched once."

"I'm waiting for it."

"I love it out here, Der," she shook her head. "It's...I mean, the hike is insane but I love it out here."

"It's kind of amazing, isn't it?" he breathed.

"Completely," she smiled, squeezing his hand.

"So we're out here for a reason," he sighed.

"More talking," she nodded slowly. "Or you're finally going to kill me and bury my body."

"Oh I haven't thought about killing you for a few days now."

"Well that's an improvement," she giggled.

"It is."

"But now there's more talking."

"There is," he nodded slowly. "About things."

"What things today?"

"I don't know," he shrugged. "There is still so much."

"And I thought this would be easy," she sighed.

"Definitely not," he shook his head.

"So...talking," she sighed as her feet sloshed through the mud.

"Talking."

"So..."

"When did you figure it out? What you wanted to do, I mean."

"I don't..." Meredith bit her lip. "A couple weeks after my mom's funeral."

"What...how?"

"I had been thinking about it," Meredith shrugged. "After you left, I just started thinking. Because you leaving...I always thought even if everything was a mess that you would be there. And then you weren't and everything was a big huge mess and I just needed to figure stuff out. And then when my mom died...I don't know. I just figured it was a good time to do it."

"I'm glad you did it," he nodded. "I hate that I had to leave for this to happen but I'm glad it did."

"Yeah," she sighed, taking her hand from his. "I think I always knew I was going to go to med school. I just...I couldn't figure out how or why or...anything."

"With everything going on in your life, that makes sense," Derek nodded.

"It wasn't going on before Europe. I just...everything seemed so big."

"You never said anything before Europe," he murmured.

"I was...happy," she whispered. "I was so stupidly happy and I kept putting it off. I kept thinking it would get easier or better or it would all make sense."

"We were both stupid happy," Derek agreed. "But that was something...it's normal to go through that. I would have been able to help."

"You had everything together," Meredith sighed. "I didn't want to scare you when you had everything completely together. I just thought...I thought it was me."

"I didn't have everything together," he frowned.

"You were...you."

"I was about to start my intern year. I was probably feeling just as lost as you."