Saving Grace (Narry)

Nineteen

Nineteen

To: Heart4Grace@ah2h.org.uk

From: Harry-Styles@yahoo.co.uk

Subject: Getting Closer

Hi, Louis

I just thought I'd send you another one of these emails since I've had a chance at free time. Grace went down for bed about a half hour ago and now I'm just using my night to unwind from the day. She was also quite tired after supper today, which is the opposite of how she usually is. You know all about that but I still like telling you all about how Grace is doing.

This email isn't as much about Grace as it actually is about me. I've mentioned to you that I feel like I can reach out to you about parenthood. As you also know from our most recent phone conversation, that the big appointment with Grace is coming up next week. I'm pretty nervous about that and I really don't want Grace to feel that I am. You'd think it would be easy to hide your inner feelings from a child but I learned they happen to be quite intuitive.

The obvious reason is because it'll be time to make one of the biggest decisions I've ever had to make and I also have to make it with you in mind. You trust me with all decisions regarding your daughter. That's rather terrifying but I will make sure I do what's best for her. I've always promised you that.

Niall and I just learned that I will also be taking this trip to the doctor's by myself this time. I won't have him there to help me or decide with me on what we should together as parents. I also won't have him there to keep me comforted and sane. He's the one who appears to be stronger and more in control than me. I'm really going to be missing him but that won't take any attention away from Grace and what I need to do for her. I promise.

This turned into a little venting session. I'm sorry about that but it does feel a little lighter to get it all out of my head right now.

I'll end this email with another one of Grace's adventurous days to make this end on a happy and lively note. We took Grace out to the park again and Niall really wanted to put her into one of the swings and push her. I wasn't all into the idea because I happen to be apprehensive around children sometimes but Niall told me that she could handle it and that she was very secure in the swing. I had no choice but to trust him and then blame him if anything did go wrong. Anyway, while he was pushing her she just broke out into the loudest laugh I have ever heard and it was one of those laughs that was contagious. Niall and I couldn't help but just join in with her. I wonder what could possibly be going on in her head at that moment that she found so much joy and humour from being pushed on a swing. Niall kept on pushing her for a few minutes just so we could keep hearing that little one laugh.

She really is an amazing little girl and I think I can start to recognise how she became your entire world.

Oh, I almost forgot to tell you that if a date is set for Grace's surgery, we can set up a day to webcam so you and her can see each other.

All the love,

Harry Styles, Niall Horan, & Grace.

To: Harry-Styles@yahoo.co.uk

From: Heart4Grace@ah2h.org.uk

Subject: RE: Getting Closer

It was nice to hear from you so soon again, Harry.

I've told you that she can be a massive grump in the smallest of bodies. She'll always get over it because I've never met a child that young to ever hold a grudge.