Officially her Bitch//Rafe Cameron (COMPLETE)

Part 39

Mias POV:
I looked at him in disbelief, putting my hand down on the counter to steady myself. No way had he taken Topper's words to heart. Either it was the alcohol messing with his emotions, or Topper had unknowingly dug at an insecurity he'd hidden very well from me.

Kelce sensed the tension, putting a pan full of pasta on the hob, leaving the room and closing the door behind him, to give us space. I sat down on a stool, reaching forwards to grab his hand again. This time, he let me.

'Why are you listening to him? Why do his words effect you?' I asked carefully, waiting for him to bring his eyes to my face.

He zoned out, staring down at the kitchen counter as if he couldn't bring himself to lock eyes with me. He sighed heavily, squeezing my hand softly before letting go, coming to sit down besides me.

'He's right, Mia. All of these bad things have happened to you because of me, and your whole life I've never let you try and be happy with someone else.' He said, picking his words very carefully.

'I've had relationships before, Rafe, you never limited my life as much as you think.' I responded.

'Mia, they all ended because of me and my jealousy. I know that I've been unfair to you, and I know that you've not had the chance to like other boys.' He explained.

I looked at him quiz-fully, wondering where this was going to go. No matter what he thought he'd done in the past, we were together now. He couldn't change who I'd dated before, because it was over. Me and him were together now, and there was nothing he could do to try and put his conscience at ease.

'I want you to give other boys a chance, just so you know that you really do love me.' He said, releasing a long and heavy sigh.

'You want me to speak to other boys? We're in a relationship, Rafe.' I said, stating the obvious.

He tapped his fingers on the counter, beginning to pace up and down as he told me his plan. His plan to make sure I really was in love with him.

'Well, we can break up, just for a week.' He responded, stopping in-front of the pasta and giving it a quick stir.

'Rafe, I don't need to test my connection with you. I've stuck by you since we were young because I loved you, not because you forced me to.' I responded softly.

'I don't want you to kiss anyone, obviously, but I want you to take a break from me, make sure I'm really what you want.' He said, taking a heavy breath as he said it.

I looked him up and down, trying to hold back a scoff as I tried to demonstrate why it wasn't a good idea. I stood up and I lifted up my shirt,  showing him the bullet wound in my stomach, raising my eyebrows.

'You, Rafe Cameron, want to leave me alone with other boys, whilst I'm recovering from being shot by a crazy one?'  I asked, sitting down on the stool.

He opened his mouth to speak but grabbed at his hair, pacing back and forth in stress. I reached for his hand and grabbed it, stopping him from moving.

'Rafe I love you. I don't know what I could ever do to put your mind at ease but this really isn't the way. Please just calm down.' I begged.

He paused for a second, opening his arms and softly pulling me into a hug, standing in between my legs and resting his head ontop of mine.

'I love you way more than you'll ever know. He just got to me, he knows how to fuck with me.' He mumbled, leaving a soft kiss on the top of my head.

'Don't let him ruin what we have, don't let anyone ruin what we have, Rafe. We only have one chance.' I whispered.

'What do you mean, one chance?' He asked, pulling away from me and resting his arms on the counter.

'If this goes wrong, our friendship will be over too, Rafe. There's so much on the line and I'm not sure if you considered that when we started dating but I did.' I said carefully, realising I was treading on thin, thin ice.

'You didn't want to date me, incase we broke up?' He asked, hoarsely.

'You were in a bad place, a really bad place and I was worried one of us would ruin it.' I said quickly.

'Mia, you thought I'd do something to ruin what we have?' He asked, stepping back now, getting stressed.

I didn't respond, because truly, I didn't know. The old Rafe wouldn't stop at anything to protect the people he loved. And that could ruin the people he loved, too. He had killed for me and for his father, and he had nearly lost me because of it.

'I'm fucking in love with you! I can't believe you thought I'd fuck us up! After everything, you never even trusted me?' He shouted, his voice getting wobbly as his eyes began to water over.

I had no idea why he was so sensitive or what had truly gotten to him, but he didn't seem his usual self. The Rafe I knew now would sit down and pull me into a hug, tell me it was okay and that he'd never do anything to hurt me.

This Rafe was the old Rafe. The Rafe who would go upstairs and snort a line when he thought I wasn't looking. The Rafe who left me alone in my bed to go and get drugs. The Rafe who almost pushed me away for good.

'When did you get the drugs, Rafe?' I asked, as monotone as I could handle.

He stopped pacing, and snapped his neck to look at me, scoffing in denial, as if he thought he could still hide it from me. I could always tell. I always knew the difference between the two Rafe's I'd grown to know. The Rafe on drugs, and my boyfriend. This wasn't my boyfriend.

'What drugs?'

'The ones you've clearly taken tonight, Rafe. When did you get them, and when did you take them?' I asked, standing up and taking a step closer to him.

He didn't respond, holding his head in both of his hands and beginning to shake his head in denial, staring down at the floor as if he could bare to look at me.

I picked up my phone and opened it, looking for Barry's contact. He looked up at me, glaring at me in confusion. I held my phone in his face, showing him his friends number. Threatening to call it and ask him myself.

'They're the ones I got a few weeks ago. I didn't take them until half an hour ago. I promise, it's the first time in months I've taken anything, Mia, I swear to you.' He said, reaching for my hands.

I pulled away from him. He'd relapsed and not even told me. He was going to hide it from me. He was going to continue to go upstairs and do a line whenever I was asleep or busy, hoping I'd never notice.

'19 years I've known you, and you thought I'd not notice when you do drugs?' I whispered.

'Mia I'm gonna get my shit together I swear.' He pleaded. 

'This is what I mean! This is what the fuck I meant when I worried you were gonna fuck us up, Rafe. You're fucking addicted!' I shouted, finally letting the anger of the past few months get the better of me.

He was taken aback, but knew that my reaction was completely justified. He nodded slowly, resting for me again, swearing loud when I pulled away for a second time, heading to the kitchen door. The pasta was over boiling and I looked at it over his shoulder, not even wanting to speak to him to let him know he heeded to turn off the job.

'Sleep elsewhere tonight, Rafe.' I said quietly, leaving the room and heading upstairs, making sure to avoid eye contact with Kelce on my way.

'Come back and let me fucking explain myself!' Rafe shouted, following me from the room.

I span to look at him, tears threatening to fall from my eyes as I watched him crumble again. He was losing himself. I know he'd only taken the drugs to hide the guilt that he felt over my near death, but it was changing him.

'You're not the Rafe that im in love with.'