Burned (Chicago Fire Fanfic)

The Visit

Lacey's POV

"How are you feeling today, Lacey?" The morning shift RN asked me as she took my pulse.

I groaned. "Sore. Can I see my baby again?" I asked immediently.

I had gotten to hold Mckayla for a couple of hours after my surgery, just like that paramedic had promised.

I laid in my bed with her on my chest. Wishing and praying she was alive. It was like any second I would look down and my baby would be okay and alive. But she never looked up at me or cried. She never would cry.

The doctors told me that the placenta had detatched from the force of the crash and she died about five minutes after I wrecked. She died before she had the chance to live. The fire fighters couldn't have saved her. I couldn't have saved her.

The driver of the truck wasn't going to get charged with anything either. I didn't want that. And anyways, he couldn't have been charged. His breaks went out while he was going down the hill to the stop light. He basically had no where to go except for the back of my car.

If he wouldn't swerved to miss me, he would've killed more people than just Mckayla.

The fact that the death of my baby was the alternative to so many other lives being destroyed was bitter sweet. She was gone, but she gave her life to keep others from dying.

At least that's how I looked at it.

"Mckayla is in the morgue." The nurse said softly. "You'll get to see her when she's prepared for her viewing." She was obviously trying to sound as sweet as possible.

I nodded. "I understand." I looked at her nametag. "Jess." I said as I read her name. "Thank you." I then broke down and cried more.

I felt like I had done nothing but cried since the accident. I cried going into the hospital, after coming out of surgery, while holding Mckayla, before I went to sleep, after waking up and now. I couldn't stop crying.

The nurse came over to me and pulled up a chair. She took my hand in hers. "You know," She sighed. "I had a miscarriage before. My baby was 9 weeks. I cried for weeks after that. It seemed like I cried all the time." She wiped a tear from her eye.

I cried even more, of course. This girl was letting me know I wasn't alone, and it was helping.

"Anyways," she went on. "I know it seems like a never ending hell right now."

She had that right.

"But it will get easier. In a year, you'll be able to look at a baby and think of Mckayla, but you won't be angry about it. You'll be happy that you were able to carry such a beautiful think inside you. You'll be thankful that all that baby ever knew was your love. And someday, you'll try again and get you second child, but nothing will ever replace your first baby."

I squeezed her hand. "Thank you." I smiled at her.

She smiled back. "I really should get out to the nurses station and get some paper work done. But if you need anything at all. I promise I will try my best to help." She then released my hand.

I pulled my hand back and reached for the tissues beside my bed. I wiped my eyes and blew my nose. I knew that I looked like shit. I could feel my eyes were puffy and red.

"Lacey?" Jess called back as she was leaving.

I looked at her. "Yeah?"

She smiled. "You have visitors."

I looked at her like she was crazy. "I don't know anyone here in Chicago." I explained.

She shrugged and grinned. "I guess you do."