ℑ 𝔖𝔱𝔦𝔩𝔩 𝔏𝔬𝔳𝔢 𝔜𝔬𝔲

Chapter 24: Baby Step

🖤No song until further notice🤍

Y/n's POV

Sunday 일요일 (ilyoil)— - -
Swoosh

My two close friends are right in front of me once I step into my new life. Both faces wearing a hard rebuke for the ridiculous attempt I made on my one life. Stuffing my hands inside of my light blue, mom jeans' pocket to priorly examine their shoes below.

One has casual tan sandals on, of course with their toes painted a pastel yellow whilst the other person has a soft cloud pink and white dunk high tops. "You know you didn't have to come." I announce struggling to muster up the courage to at least glimpse inside of their eyes, however I'm unable to because of myself being penitent about my prior actions.

"I could've gotten discharged—" I'm interrupted not by their retorts, or comebacks especially from my foreign African-American friend: Vi. Instead I'm welcomed with a comforting warmth wrapping around my figure, permeating through me. Automatically the serotonin generates inside my fragile body.

A woman's head is resting on my shoulders, the warmth surrounding me commences on shaking faintly, at a distance you wouldn't be able to perceive it, however up close you can. As soon as the shaking commences, my shoulder is being peppered by tiny water droplets, eventually producing a huge puddle.

I'm waiting for one of them to scold me—give me a whole lecture on how idiotic I was being? So careless! Yet, I still don't get it not even from Vi, I don't get not one word from out of her slick mouth. What is this? Who are these people at this moment?

The person's head: Cho-Hee's lifts her head off of me, her eyes connecting with mines. Then I understand why they weren't talking. Cho-Hee's irritated whites is a vague, pinkish-reddish hues, transparent substance incessantly pours out of her eyes, her eyelashes are sticking together because of the sudden dampness to them. The emotion she's displaying: Sorrow and then this heavy guilt is created within me.

Her left hand is placed on the back of my head, gently guiding me on her shoulder. Her fingers stroking/playing around in my hair seeming to feel as if she were to let go of me, I might vanish. "Cho—..."

"Shhhh.... It's okay, I understand, Y/n. You're going to be okay." Cho Hee reassures me. Her voice is croaky and soft. Honestly, I don't know how long we stood there embracing each other, nevertheless, we all three left the hospital getting whatever I desired that day.

A Couple Of Days later:
Wednesday 소요일 (soyoil)— - -
Hmm... these last couple of days have been interesting. Cho Hee has been coming over and literally supervise me as if I'm going to succeed in the second attempt of ending myself, which I don't feel like doing again and putting Cho-Hee in that amount of stress again, nor Vi, nor my friends.

So what I should do now is think about my future ahead. Try to start new, start fresh, don't get hooked on the pas—

Abruptly, I come across a very particular black haired man's page. The exact same one I used to religiously stalk on a daily basis, it ultimately became part of my routine to the point where my brain habitually goes on. Presently, I'm on his page scrolling through his account without any conscience-awareness.

Instead of getting off of his profile, I continue to go through his very dedicated followers of 10k. I know, I know, I should be taking a few steps forward, not five steps backwards, despite this, perhaps if I just go through it once more and for the last time I will be able to cleanse myself from the abhor past.

Immediately, I dive right back to my prior habits, searching for whatever of Minjun I can find. My eyes soon detects a fond photo of the certain boy. The picture is pretty simplistic: It's merely, Minjun's black jet hair damped by the shower he had taken with his most cherished gray hoodie over his head. His face is partially covered, meaning I could see he was smiling behind  his favorite type of chips: Kkokkal Corn.

Then I swipe to the left, simultaneously another picture appears instead of the playful Minjun, I discern a very sensual Minjun, the same damped hair same hoodie, regardless, the camera is facing backwards permitting me to see his complete figure. His jacket's unzipped, he didn't have a shirt on so my eyes automatically goes towards his nicely...toned...magnificent...physique, the lighting purely amplifies his subtle abs.

He's not one of those bodybuilders, or those hardcore, gym rat. Minjun, most likely work mainly on toning and strengthening his muscles, not making them bigger.

Ultimately, I begin to scroll down once again. Why did I do this again? What is the point of this? To go right back to my stalker girl phase.

Stop

My finger ceases to move since I spotted another photo that took in to my liking. It's a younger Minjun, his brother, and father in a picture frame. His brother's being picked up by their father at the same time, Minjun's on the other side of the father. Everyone's  smiling at one another, appearing to seem like the photographer had caught them off guard. Everything in that picture was happy and cordial.

Now, I'm registering my previous actions. I don't know what I was thinking... kidnapping someone's son, not just any son a CEO's to be precise. Honestly, it was a very selfish thing and a cruel one to be exact.

Reaching out to the screen with my unoccupied, left hand. My index finger landing on top of Minjun's smiling exuberant  face. I wanted to salvage that part of you, I wanted it to survive whilst the other part's destroyed as soon as it appeared.

Well... I can't hide in the past, can I? Like regretting my decisions I already made (which I do regret at the utmost!) I have to throw myself into the God's/universe's hands. So I need some ideas—I can't get off of the app, unfollowing and blocking Minjun it won't do anything much because the thought will still be there. I will have to delete the app, delete my whole account, just get off of social media for the time being only until I don't have the temptation to go back into that pitful, dangerous rabbit hole.

I know, it seems drastic, however I know myself all too well, I know that unfollowing him and blocking won't help because I'm so attached to my daily routine, it's difficult to break a two year habit, just overnight!

Sigh

This is ridiculous but hey, I have to start somewhere. Gliding my index finger onto the delete account, consequently a grey box stating are you sure you want to delete your account? Yes or no. Subconsciously, I already clicked the confirm button since it shoved me back to the login page of the app.

Now to the other apps,

Delete

Delete

Delete

And....

Delete

Inhale.... Exhale. My body immediately plops backwards onto my bed, my limbs scattering above my head. "I'm a mess." I utter at myself, the urge to go back and redownload, build a new account—one concealed, straightforward yet furtive to search around. However all I solely do is roll to my side and curl myself in a ball, anticipating to fall back into the pits of darkness, aga—

"Hey, Yum-yum?" A vague knock is distinguished from within the room and a gentle feminine voice has accompanied the gesture. I don't say anything, perhaps desiring her to leave me alone for a bit longer just like everyone else. Even Airi's out in a bout recently although she's looking for an excuse to be with her boyfriend.

Abruptly, the door opens up then back shut, footsteps shifting over to my curled up figure. Then arms wrapping behind me in a comforting, loving manner, lastly, a head relaxing on my left shoulder, being happily overwhelmed by the soft floral scent of the lady.

"You know I love you and I will forever love you because you are an amazing woman and you deserve all of the happiness the world." Once she said all, she squeezes me tightly.

"Even if I done something vile." I mutter, spotting the particular brunette haired hues of the Korean female.

"We're humans, we all make mistakes, we can all learn from our previous experience."

—————
A/n: I didn't realize I had a chapter done a long time ago. Sorry everyone for holding this chapter out!