ℑ 𝔖𝔱𝔦𝔩𝔩 𝔏𝔬𝔳𝔢 𝔜𝔬𝔲

Chapter 18: Brainwashing Session

🖤Ch 18 (song/노래): Heather by Conan Gray🤍

Minjun's POV

Thursday 목요일 (mogyoil)— - -
"So tell me, Minjun. What occurred to you during the duration of your captivity?"

"What occurred? Okay...so do you want me to simply start from the beginning, or anywhere?" I inquire, spreading my body out onto the cushioned sofa below me. Dark gray just like the one in my room... My head settled onto the armrest, discerning the throbbing sensation within my chest, near my heart.

Automatically, the closest hand to my aching pain, clutches tightly onto my shirt, giving the illusion I'm going to rip my own heart out. The same organ that bestows the emotions of love, devotion, and compassion and the opposite emotions like resentment, exasperation, jealousy, loneliness, emptiness...

Yes...

Yes, I'm lonely.

I'm alone and abandoned once again.

Why do you make me feel this way? It's as if I'm here in this world, yes, I'm breathing, surviving....existing without any purpose. I'm being controlled through your willpower and your needs, I will bend over backward for you to be pleased. I'm the puppet and you're my puppeteer, therefore saying if you're not operating me then I'm just a doll that's waiting for your instructions to be of use again.

I'm unable to feel anything without—

Ahem. "You can start anywhere you want." The woman responds, languidly my eyes shift over to the person who spoke to me. Now, analyzing her, she doesn't look like you, not..one..bit... Her lips were off, her eyes were an unusual shade of color. She's wearing an excessive amount of makeup to conceal all of her blemishes, her flaws, the parts of her she doesn't yearn to embrace. Not the pleasant nor the bad.

Opposing to you. You're extraordinary from her, or society. You were/are just a sliver of fresh crisp air in this condensed polluted world. "Okay, I guess. Let's see...I remember this one time, I fell ill for a whole week and a half because of her terrible cooking, ha..ha. She wasn't a big cooker, but once I came, she attempted to create something that was..." I notice myself chuckling at our precious memories.

"At least edible and this time she made Naengmyeon I honestly don't know why she made it.. maybe from me saying I loved Naengmyeon a couple of times. Anyways, she attempted to create it." I pause, permitting myself to drag the clutched hand near my nose, getting a whiff of the familiarity of her fragrance, although the aroma is fading exceedingly fast as if it has to get away from a dangerous beast.

Inhaling deeply in the clothing, my eyes instinctively begin to shut, the saccharine smell beckoning me to become more serene and unperturbed.

"During my time I was sick, she stuck by my side..almost 24/7, she would stay at the house just because I was so feeble. She was truly benevolent, especially when I had these unspeakable nightmares...I would scream in the middle of the night and she would always rush into my room as if I was a kid having trouble sleeping." I distinguish a delicate grin tugging on the corner of my lips.

"She immediately wakes me up to reassure me that it was only a dream..." I add off. My mind leisurely endeavored to recreate the same images in my nightmares.

Whining a bit about it. "What were you dreaming about most of the time?" The woman on the side of my head question me. It sounds ridiculous to be afraid of those dreams just by thinking about them, right now.

Scoffing at my thoughts, I answer. "I would dream about being alone in the darkness, no one around, just me and the void, however the darkness would say all sorts of things like: In the end, you will be alone, no one would care about you, the girl would eventually leave you, you're not worth anyone's time." My eyes slowly opened once I said the girl would eventually leave.