Chemistry | Taegyu ✔️

Episode 15 PART ONE

"I'm sorry" Taehyun mumbles to himself as he wipes the shelves for the umpteenth time. "For betraying your trust...?"

Stopping his wiping movement, Taehyun frowns. That sounds wrong to him. It makes him sound like he had Beomgyu's trust from the very beginning and apologising that way will make him seem full of himself. Taehyun sucks in his upper lip and puts away the towel, feeling stupid for practicing his apology speech when Beomgyu doesn't even to see his face. This is also not how he is too. He's supposed to be smart, to be the cold one, the one that's shameless and doesn't give a fuck. But he's giving every fuck right now, being the dumb one, the one that's craving for attention and interaction, the one who's afraid of saying and doing the wrong things, the one caring about his own image in Beomgyu's eyes.

Returning to his room after cleaning the whole house, leaving every corner squeaky clean and sparkling, Taehyun slumps down in his own chair and stares blankly at the screen of his laptop, unable to focus on the playing recorded lecture. He needs to speak to Beomgyu soon, if not, his emotions and feelings will pose as a great distraction to his studies. And he's a graduating student. But that doesn't sound too nice as well. Only apologising because it's jeopardising his studies? That's not right.

"I miss him..." Taehyun mutters under his breath unconsciously, only realising after he had heard himself. Straightening his back, he pauses the lecture and throws himself back into his messy thoughts, trying to think straight. He misses Beomgyu. That's the truth. Who would have thought there comes a day that Kang Taehyun would miss someone? Taehyun was always alone, since birth. Abandoned once, by his underaged birth parents, abandoned twice, thrice, four times, five times, by foster families and potential adoptive parents. Taehyun had learnt to keep people out and lost hope for any love or affection. He doesn't believe them. All the short term love and affection he received were fake and lies. If others couldn't love him, then he should give all the love to himself. But his idea of self-love was selfishness. That's when it all started, the shameless and cheap boy was born. The boy who doesn't care about others, only caring for himself. Money became a big motivation for him when he turned 10. Money could buy him books and toys. And according to him, that means money can buy him knowledge and happiness. Temporary or not, Taehyun wants that. If they're temporary, he'll just need to buy more, right? He became obsessed with money and worked really hard to save up as much as possible.

Then comes Choi Beomgyu, a drunk rich man he saw at the bus stop, who has the prettiest smile and the kindest heart he had ever seen. Taehyun doesn't know how it happened, but Beomgyu started giving him things he knew he wanted, and things he thought he didn't need. From money, a lavish home, expensive presents, sumptuous meals, to affection, warmth, security and love; the things he had rejected and didn't want. He received more than enough from Beomgyu, but gave back nothing to him. What's worse is that he had lost his trust, did horrible things to Beomgyu and drained his physical and emotional wallet. Love isn't supposed to be long lasting, but Beomgyu's patience for him proved otherwise. One whole year and one month, Beomgyu had tolerated him and showered him with the things he had claimed not to need. Beomgyu even told Taehyun that he has a pretty heart. And Taehyun feels like he had tricked Beomgyu. His heart isn't pretty, it's black with ugly thorns, always having selfish motives. Taehyun doesn't deserve Beomgyu. He knew that from the beginning, but he kept clinging to the older unconsciously. Everything that was in his subconscious had now surfaced, making Taehyun realise just how much of an asshole he is, and how much he actually needs Beomgyu and misses him.