clementine // joshler

1

josh's point of view

"you're gonna do great, j. you don't need her," hayley tells me, her morning voice quiet through the speaker of my phone.

"what if i have a student named debby and i do the roll call and start crying?" i run my hand through my hair a third time before forcing myself to leave the bathroom.

"how many other women named debby have you met that weren't in their sixties?"

"none..." i admit, feeling a bit dramatic.

"exactly. you'll be fine. the first day of a new job is always scary but you've wanted this since you we were in highschool. why you'd want to go back is beyond me, but i'll support you anyway," she says.

"you're my best friend, h. thank you."

"and you're mine. can i please go back to sleep now?"

"yes. i'll leave you alone. expect texts between every class i have though."

"i think i can deal with that much."

-

"good morning, everyone. welcome back. my name is mr. dun and i'm going to be your english teacher for this year. i hope you all had a wonderful summer. i'll be passing out the syllabus shortly, but first, i have to do attendance."

indeed, there are no students named debby in this class period. and everyone is present, which is nice.

i pass around the syllabus and then take my spot back at the front of the room, scanning the room briefly and thanking my hands for not sweating all over their papers. "so, the year will be split into four units, one per nine weeks. for each unit, we'll read two books, write two essays, and take one test. i'm sure hardly any of you will actually look over it but i recommend you at least keep up with it, as it has the schedule for the whole year on the last page. does anyone have any questions for me so far?"

one girl in the front raises her hand. she's got dark black hair and eyes so blue the contrast makes me almost uncomfortable.

"yes?"

"um, mr. dun, how old are you? you look too young to be a teacher. no offense." she blushes a bit and giggles, twirling a piece of her hair around her finger and batting her eyelashes, which are partially clumped together in places with cheap mascara.

so it begins.

"oh. i'm twenty-two. i just graduated from college last may. this is my first teaching position and you are my first class. unfortunately, that does make you the guinea pigs. i'll be learning right along with you all so any feedback is welcome."

i make it through the first half of my classes with no other issues, but i do hear the whispers that float out of the room from my students after the bell rings about how i'm so young, which definitely isn't the type of feedback i was welcoming. i'm just as qualified to be here as all the other teachers, but i knew going into this that i would most likely get shit for my age. i've only been out of high school for four years, it's not like i don't remember how teenagers are.

i've got a while to recollect myself during fourth period, which is my only period without a class, and to make sure i've got enough copies of each syllabus.

i'm teaching six classes this year, three of which are junior level, two advanced placement sophomore classes, and one class of seniors. my senior class is after my lunch, which is directly after my free period. it's pretty convenient to have my free time in one block, as it gives me a longer break to get things done.

however, there's not much for me to do just yet, so i take out my lunch and sit at my desk to eat my salad, my phone in my hand. i get a text from hayley in the middle of a tiktok about some chicken recipe that i bookmark for later.

hayley: how goes it

josh: i keep getting comments abt my age and i heard a couple of girls talking about how they think im cute and im worried none of my students are going to take me seriously but this salad is pretty good so there's that

hayley: it could be worse. they could be calling you stupid and ugly like when we were actually in high school

josh: dude why would you say that

hayley: im jk

hayley: mostly

josh: i hate you

hayley: no you dont

josh: okay fine

when my lunch is over, i take a deep breath, preparing myself for my group of seniors. these students are the closest to my age (obviously) and i'm not sure if that's going to make things better or worse when it comes to the comments i've been getting or how much respect they'll have for me as a teacher.

i watch as the class starts to fill. i hold another stack of papers in my hands tightly, waiting until i hear the tardy bell ring to close the door and pass them out. i feel nervous, can feel their eyes on me, and for some reason, it feels different than my other classes. i chalk it up to my anxiety just being a dick and clear my throat before starting my welcome speech.

"good afternoon, everyone. my name is mr. dun. i'll be your english teacher this year. you're all seniors, yes?" i hand out the last syllabus and come to stand at the front of the classroom again as a chorus of soft confirmations comes from them, "so, you'll be graduating soon. i know that's exciting and i also know it means you won't want to do any of the assignments i have prepared. i have to give them to you, but don't worry, it's not a super heavy course load or anything. this will be a pretty lax class as far as i'm concerned.

"you've been through eleven years of english classes and you'll have at least a couple more if you decide to go to college. i trust you know enough to get by. again, i still have to teach and i still have to give you assignments, but you've got enough stress. your real life is about to start.

"so, i'm here to help in any way that i can. if that means being a reference your resume or helping you with college applications, that's fine. i never got any real support from my teachers in school and i want to be able to make that difference." i look around and see some wide eyes, some appreciative smiles, and a couple of people who are very obviously high. "any questions for me?"

a boy in the back raises his hand, an expression i can't quite read on his face. something about the way he's looking at me catches me off guard and i'm not sure why. "mr. dun, why are you doing this?"

"um... what?"

"why do you care?"

i pause, trying to process his question and think of a real answer. i can't say that 'it's my job.' caring is not in the description and even if it was, i know firsthand that not many teachers really do.

"well... someone has to."

(an: hello! new story! haven't done anything like this before and im kind of nervous!! 😅 i think im going to update this on mondays so ill see you all after the weekend!)