butterflies. | Ashtray X Fem

33. regrets.

33.regrets.
word count:1655

it felt like i couldn't breathe for such a great amount of time. it felt like the end of my life. once they noticed i was there kenzie quickly jumped off sitting beside him awkwardly. i stood there with tears filling every edge of my eye. ashtray just looked over at me scratching the back of his head awkwardly.

"a-are you fucking serious?" i yell. kenzie just looks away. ashtray just sits there.

"am i fucking talking to myself?" i yell again walking over to ashtray shoving him.

"he doesn't want you caye, get the memo." kenzie looks me up and down as a fucking threat.

"oh please bitch you want to fucking go there." i walk over to the side of the bed she's at.

"you wanna be such a fucking whore right?" i grab her by her hair rolling it up into my fist so i have her hair in a good grip. she begins slapping the fuck out of my arm.

"let go you physco!" she yells and ashtray all of the sudden is asleep, does this mean nothing to him?

"no you want to be a whore right? well whores like you get treated like this." i bend down to her ear whispering, i drag her off the bed onto the floor as she just screams in pain. i drag her all the way to the living room and once we get there i lift her up and she gets up, i make her look dead into my eyes as she balls her eyes out.

"how does it feel, WHORE?" i ask harshly.

"stop okay? im sorry!" she yells continuing to cry. i punch her dead in the nose.

"what was that?" i punch her nose again.

"couldn't here you, whore." i punch her nose again. it now begins bleeding.

"get the fuck out and don't ever come back you hear me? next time you do-" i grab her nose twisting it the other direction as she yells at the top of her lungs.

"ill make sure this shit never looks the same again." i let go of her nose and hair and she runs out the door crying. i stand there completely numb, not being able to process what the fuck just happened and what ashtray just did to me. i storm back into the room shoving him and he doesn't wake up .

"you fucking piece of shit." i scoff grabbing a bag and shoving a whole bunch of clothes and shoes into it. i zip the bag up and leave the house not thinking twice, he really lied to me, that letter was bullshit. it was just to get what he wanted AGAIN. im so fucking stupid to believe this fucking bastard actually had potential in changing. i just continue walking not knowing exactly where to go. i just walked and walked until it began pouring so i walked into a small gas station and pulled out my phone as i stood there freezing and soaked.

messages.

me- maddy.

maddy- heyy baee, haven't heard from you :((

me- yea.. about that, i need some where to stay for who knows how long...

maddy- bitch ik u did not- yk mami luvs you, come right over.

me- it's pouring and i been left the house im at this gas station, it's called ellies place.

maddy- oo my girl ellie, alr omw.
seen.

i stand in the back near the freezers awkwardly and some blonde girl is looking at me from the front counter, probably ellie. i smile at her and she smiles back, i need something strong asap. i just walk over to the counter soaking wet and suspicious.