butterflies. | Ashtray X Fem

14.| apologies use to never bring people back.

14.| apologies use  to never bring people back.

i continued chasing hayden down the street. even though i didn't want anything serious with him i still felt terrible for using him as a distraction and continuing to lead him on after he admitted he was deeply in love with me and was willing to wait.

"just fucking give up." hayden yelled turning around.

"hayden. please. stop. wait. j-just let me fucking explain!" i put my hands out trying to keep distance between us.

"explain what caye, you were sucking a nigga dry bruh, a nigga who killed your blood bro. your mother and father, you've always been so fucking fucked up. GOD!" each word hayden said got louder. i jumped at his voice my eyes filling with tears.

"hayden. i never wanted you. god you left me no other choice but to fucking tell you like this, you were my fucking escape, so who's actually fucking delusional." i scoffed. bringing my parents into the conversation was fucked up.

"so our fucking friendship was a lie? what the fuck." hayden looked at me officially hurt.

"no, FUCK, im sorry okay, just the sex and the other shit but other then that everything was real. and was there because i wanted this friendship with you." i walked closer to him.

"caye, i love you, but i hope he was worth losing me." hayden pointed back at the condo and just continued walking away.

"HAYDEN!"

"DONT FUCKING DO THIS."

"FUCK HAYDEN." tears slipping out my eyes. i sighed just knowing i have to accept my lose. i walked back towards the house feeling like the world's dumbest bitch. i opened the door and fez just sat on the couch watching TV and smoking a blunt i sniffled and headed towards ash's room. he was still sitting in his seat once i walked in he adjusted and  looked me up and down.

"stop." i shook my head.

"what..." ash looked at me like i was insane.

"i just ruined everything with him." i scoffed more tears flooding down my face.

"oh my god, please fucking tell me you werent serious about that bitch." ashtray got off the gaming chair walking towards me.

"he was still my bestfriend even if i didn't want him like that." i stood there backing up scared.

"what does he have that i havent given you." ashtray pinned me against the wall.

"trust." i looked him dead in his eyes.

"we can build that caye. me and you are new to eachother."  ashtray pushed my hair behind my ear gazing at my lips.

" ashtray your a fucking player. i need a life outside of this drug shit." i looked at him shaking my head.

"are you serious?" ashtray looked me dead in the face now.

"yes." i gulped.

"fine." ash opened the door and pushed me out the way walking out his room. what's his problem. or what's my problem..

"god i need to fix shit with someone." i mumbled to myself. i left the room going to the bathroom and starting the shower. i took off my outfit and wrapped my hair in a towel not wanting to wet it. i get into the shower and grab the vanilla lavender body wash ashtray bought me and start rubbing it on me causing it to foam. i rinsed it off and stopped the shower getting out and wrapping a towel around my body. i got into the room and put on my clothes and jewelry and let down my hair. I slid on my shoes and grabbed a vape off ash's dresser. i headed towards the living room.