trepidation

chapter six

"Melissa we need to go. Now," Tommy said trying to get me up.

"We can't- We can't leave him here," I  spoke out looking at him.

"I know but we can't stay either," he told me and he was right. I planted a kiss on Kenji's forehead. If only I stayed and waited for the hood or accepted the offered help from Diggle then he could have lived. I was the one that got him killed.

It kept replaying in my head in these recent two weeks. It felt like it happened yesterday, it was surreal. There was a knock on the door. I looked at it. Did I feel like opening? No. Did I just get up and walk towards it? Yes. And there was the fake smile that I put on as I opened the door to see Oliver standing behind it.

"Hi," he said.

"Hey," I replied quietly.

"How are you doing?" that was that question I just wanted to stop hearing.

"Fine," I picked up the bag from the bed.

"Common I know you are still hurting. But you need to open up to us. I know that night wasn't easy on you but don't keep anything to yourself," he said.

"You are right but every time I think about it, it feels like that night keeps on happening over and over again. You didn't see him," I said quietly looking down with tears. The door opened slowly and I wiped away my tears fast.

Thea walked in behind Ollie and put her arm around Ollies back and hugged him, he almost groaned but kept it to himself.

"Guess which sibling managed to turn the club around in one and a half week," she said happy not noticing Olivers expression. Instead me and Ollie looked at each other and then to Thea pretending to be clueless.

"Well, let me tell you, I did," she said proud.

"Why are you holding a bag?" she asked shortly after.

"It's nothing. I'm just putting away stuff that I don't need," I answered and felt Oliver looking at me, as if he knew that I wanted to leave.

"Alright but you are gonna love what I did with the club. I'll be seeing my two favorite siblings there tonight right?," she asked.

"For sure sis," Oliver told her and I smiled to her, "Of course I'll be there,"

"Good, I gotta go now to prepare everything. See you guys," she backed out and now me and Oliver stood there.

"Are you okay?" I asked.

"What?" he replied confused.

"Your back," I commented.

"Oh yeah right, I fell on my back by the driveway and it gave a bruise," I nodded.

"Now listen-" he sighed.

"Don't leave mom and Thea again," he continued and while I took a deep breath and gave a glance towards the window.

"I wasn't gonna leave," I said.

"Are you really gonna lie to your own brother? Come work with me at the company at least," he continued.

"I don't know Ollie,"

"Just don't decide yet. Give it a try" I nodded.

A few hours went by as I unpacked the bag and cleaned up my room. I showerd and changed into a black satin dress with high heels. I waved my hair and put some simple make up on. Staying in the house would either drive me insane or make me leave town so I decided to visit Theas reopening club as I did promise her.

An hour later I approached the club and stepped in. By the entrance there was small bites and drinks to the of it.

The club now seemed even bigger with these big windows. The interior was changed and she had really stepped up the game on the speakers because the music felt cleaner and louder than before. I saw Thea standing nearby and approached her.

"Thea congrats sis," I said as she turned around.

"Mel, thanks" she said.

"I really am so proud of you," I said to her and hugged her.

"Did you see the bar yet?" she asked.

"No, but I was about to go," I told her as her friend walked up to her.

"Hey Mel before you go, I wanna introduce my friend Roy to you" Thea said.

"Roy this is my sister Melissa and Mel this is my friend Roy," she continued and he seemed stressed.

"Yeah just friends. Nice to meet you Melissa," he said and smiled a little.

"It's nice to meet you too, Roy," I smiled at him and smirked at Thea hinting at them being just 'friends'. She looked away trying to hide her blushing.

"I'll go look around for Oliver or Dig and leave you two, just friends, to enjoy the opening party. It was really nice to meet you, Roy" I said. "Likewise," he replied and I walked away to the bar. Guess who stood behind it. Hello Merlyn.

"You work here?" I asked him as he was pouring a drink to someone.

"No I'm just standing here for fun," he said as he looked up and saw me.

"Melissa. Hi, how are you doing?" he asked as I slowly looked away to avoid eye contact.

"I can't stand hearing that- please just change the subject," he looked at me and nodded. "I'm here whenever you need me though, M." he said leaning over the bar. "I know" I smiled gently putting my hand on his.

"Hey babe. You coming?" a tall woman with blonde hair said looking at Tommy. It made me instantly pull away my hand.

"Hi. I am," she looked at us. "Audrey this is Melissa, Oliver's and Thea's sister. Melissa, this is Audrey Dunn. My girlfriend," he said looking at me. "Nice to meet you Audrey," I told her, looking at him now.

I was really happy for him. He deserved someone better.

"I'll be right out. I'm just going to leave the keys to Thea," he told Audrey and made his way to find Thea. "Melissa, right?" she said and looked at me. "That's right," I smiled at her. "Can I ask you a question just out of the blue?" she asked, kind of holding back. "Of course," I told her.

"Do you think Thomas like me," she asked me with hope in her eyes. "I know that he wouldn't go around and introduce you if he didn't like you," I assured her with a smile as Tommy came back ready to leave with Audrey. "Have a great night Melissa. It was nice to meet you," she said. "Likewise," I nodded back to her as they left together.

"Hey, can I get a gin and tonic," I asked the other bartender and he nodded.

I thought about what my life would be like now. Kenji was gone. My home with Kenji was gone. Everything here had changed too.

After thirty minutes later I ordered another shot. It didn't take long before I started to feel dizzy with shortness of breath. Not even 15 minutes afterwards it seemed different. The taste was off but it wasn't that. The only thing I knew after that was me trying to find a my sister or brother but they were nowhere to be seen. I made my way outside to find a cab but my vision became blurry and I tried to grab a hold of anything but failed.