Free to be

8

The school guidance counsellors office is filled with pamphlets. I know this from when I had to speak to her about my college options at the end of last year. Now I know she has an appointment, she always has an appointment between 10 and 10:30 in the lunch room. I think she means she is having a snack but it is posted outside her office. Testing the door I am happy to see that it is not locked and scanning the hallway to check it is empty I let myself into the room and close the door behind me. 

Sure enough her one wall is covered in pamphlets about picking a college to teen pregnancy. I scan it interested before remembering why I am here. Finding the pamphlets I need I quickly shove them into my bag. Ones on abuse, partner violence, places to go, people to call, signs. Everything is there and I take two of each so I can read one and Sienna the other. There is no way I am letting this go. Peeking my head out the door I almost curse out loud, I see the guidance counsellor coming down the corridor, chatting to the principal. I think it is obvious what I have taken, the supply as diminished substantially, Cursing I spin around trying to plan an escape but there is nothing, the window is too high and too small. The door to the left is locked and I think it is the cupboard where she keeps all the records. Making a split decision I make a grab for more pamphlets, not caring what they are as long as they are now all suspiciously empty. I then rush and take a seat in front of her desk, hanging my head just as I hear the door open. 

I whip my head around, trying my best to appear distraught but my acting has never been good and the guidance counsellor along with the principal are looking upon me with shocked faces.

"Victoria, what are you doing here?" Mrs Picklen asks holding a hand to her chest. Her eyes darting around the room, to the cupboard and then to the stash of pamphlets in my hands.

"S-sorry," I purposefully stutter "I needed to speak to you about something and then you weren't here, it was urgent and so I saw the pamphlets and I thought they would-" she holds up her hands.

"Calm down, Victoria," She turns to the Principal who is watching the exchange with furrowed eyebrows "Can we continue this talk later John?"

"Of course." With one last look in my direction he disappears and shuts the door behind him. Mrs Picklen turns to me, smiling gently. I feel terrible that I am lying to her but desperate times and all. She moves around, taking a seat at her desk. 

"Right what can I help you with ?"

"I am late!" I blurt out waving the pregnancy pamphlet in front of my face as well as the others about STI's anxiety and stress. There are also some ones about family issues and mental disorders. "I haven't even had Sex!" I blurt out and her eyes widen as my cheeks colour, I would be very embarrassed if this was all the true reason I am here.  Now I want to sink in the ground. 

"Well, lets start with what pamphlets you don't need." she holds out her hand and I hand her the pile, she shuffles through it and places majority of them to the side. There are two left. "Right, since you said you have not engaged in sexual intercourse the most likely cause of you being late for your monthly cycle is stress, have you been experiencing anything majorly stressful, more than usual?" Thinking about the currently real reason I am here I nod and she smiles gently at me "Now, stress can cause you to be late, it can also cause spotting and other abnormal monthly cycle additions."

"Okay thanks." I stand up, prepared to get out of here but she waves me back to my seat.  

"Sit down Victoria," She is kind and gentle and the guilt is consuming. "The other pamphlet I am going to give you is the one for a clinic near by, the offer free consultations for teenagers on all things relating to gynaecology. " She hands me the second pamphlet which I take "If your issue persists for more than a month I suggest you go and visit them, they accept walk in appointments."

"Oh okay, thanks." I mutter and she nods pausing as she scans the wall behind me and then me. I am very conscious that the pamphlets I actually need are not in the pile she took away and very definitely missing from the wall.

"Is there anything else you would like to discuss with me?"

"Urrggh," I pause, glancing down at the pamphlets. "Maybe you should keep them outside your office so people can get the ones they need." 

"You mean without breaking into my office?" There is amusement in her voice but I hang my head in shame "I like that idea, thank you Victoria."

"You can call me Tori." I say standing up and shoving my backpack on my shoulder "Thanks for these." I wave the pamphlets and she smiles.

"Anytime, come back if you need to talk about anything else, have a great day!" I rush out of there, opening my backpack with the real incriminating pamphlets and shoving the others with them.  I am currently missing art, I faked that I needed health products from the nurse (The lying is on point today) I rush towards where I know Sienna's locker is and leaning my back pack against the floor and pulling out the ones I want her to have, slipping them through the little slits in her locker. Grinning that I managed my mission undetected I spin around and head back for art. Informing a very suspicious teacher that the nurse was out and had to get some from the guidance counsellor. I am not sure I am believed but then again I am waved away to do my work. 

Danna leans over "Where did you really go?" 

"I told you to get health products."

"Please, you and Erin have a stash in your lockers." I forgot they know that. I look away, not sure what to tell him.

"Is something wrong?" He asks me worried and I shake my hair. "Really?"

"I am just helping somehow out."

"who?"

"A friend."

"We are your only friends."

"Please, I can't tell you, Danna but I will when I can, promise." 

"Fine, but if you are really in trouble you need to tell us so we can help you." I nod and he lets it go because that is the type of person he is, he will never push someone to share if they are not ready but he is a fierce protector so we know that if it is about our safety he will be there first. Always. 

"Thanks Danna, love you."

He grins leaning over to tug my ponytail. "Love you dork."