Under His Keep

36. Reveal Me

double chapter(: yayayayayayayaya

decided on a chapter count! there will be around 46-52ish chapters. haven't fully decided though(;

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Returning home, I fling off my clothes as soon as I get to my bedroom and take a long, hot shower to get rid off his smell, his being on my skin.

After Sy... Did that with me I have never felt so guilty afterwards. I was just so angry. Angry at myself, and angry at Darius.

I put on sweats and a long sleeved shirt to hide Sy's evidence. I didn't want to go outside of my room, because I knew Darius would be waiting for me. But I was starving, and my stomach was screaming at me, so I chose to go get a quick snack.

Darius greeted me at the kitchen entrance, stopping me before I could enter. His eyes were a dark blue, and he stood his ground, refusing to let me move around him.

"What, Darius? What the hell do you want?" I raise my voice, angry at him for everything he has done to me.

"Why are you ignoring me?" He demands, his voice low. "And what is this?" Yanking down the collar of my shirt, he shoots daggers at the newest marks.

"Oh, no reason." I joke, poking him hard in the chest and shoving his hands off of me. "You don't understand Darius. If I don't... I don't know what I'll do... And I was empty and sad today. I needed a distraction, I craved one. I needed to stop thinking about you for one fucking second because otherwise I would fall apart."

"Lena. Please, I can't stand the silence. It's killing me. You are killing me also when you allow him to do those things to you."

"Then what the fuck am I supposed to do Darius?!" My voice turns into a yell, and tears brim my eyes yet again. "Pretend nothing happened? Pretend I didn't say anything? I can't, okay?! I was reckless today and... Sy filled your place for those few minutes, a simple distraction. You don't feel the same anyways, and I can't make you change no matter how hard I try to pry you open and let you free!"

I try to rip myself away from him, but he grabs my arm and pulls me back in.

"Who said I didn't feel the same?" He whispers, bringing a hand up to my face and tucking a strand of loose hair behind my ear. I had been yearning for his touch ever since I had locked myself away from him last night. "Who said it if I haven't?"

My heartbeat accelerates and I feel myself losing my breath.

"What?" I blink, forcing myself to stay upright on my wobbling legs.

"You don't need to hear me twice." Darius says, moving his hands to sit on my shoulders. They felt heavy at the moment, and I could barely hold myself up at the moment.

"Yes I do, I need to." I murmur, my gaze lingering in his now fiery eyes.

"Lena, I don't know if this is... Love. But I know it's something close, and I know I can't lose you, because you are the only light in my life. Ever since I first lost myself, you are helping me find me again. The true me who knows he can do things correctly, and not the one that's fucks up with every breath he takes. So thank you. And thank you for telling me the truth that one night, because now I know I can be real with you. I know I can be the change in my life."

"Show me." I breathe, feeling like I was floating. "Please express to me what you.. Feel. I need to feel to know."

Instantly Darius leans in, smashing his lips against mine and pulling me close to him. I grab his shirt and fist it in my hands, begging silently. He takes the top of his shirt and flings it off, tossing it to the side. I take a moment to inhale and gaze at all his tattoos, all the ink I had come to love. He brings his lips back to mine and grabs my legs, pulling me up and letting me wrap my legs around his waist. I felt him almost rushing towards the bedroom, and I laughed at his aggression.