Just Two Boys - Jaspar - boyxboy

Chapter 30 - JoJo

~unedited, kind of trigger warning~

-Caspar POV-

After the main wedding service comes the brunch. I'm still in shock that Joe remembered Zalfie. He seems pretty out of it too.

However, after they cut the cake, Joe pulls Zoë aside. I can't hear what is being said, but I assume it's about him remembering. I watch as Zoë clasps a hand to her mouth, and tears start running down her face. She pulls Joe into a large hug. They return to the table together.

"What's wrong, love?" Alfie asks when he sees her face.

"He remembers us." She says in a barely audible whisper. All eyes turn to Joe who immediately goes red.

-

"What does this mean, doctor?"

"It means we were wrong. We assumed the memories could never come back because of the immoderate trigger. But it turns out that even after such an exposure, he could still remember.

We don't yet know all the circumstances and conditions, but let's hope this means there's still a possibility of remembering you, Caspar." Dr. Hadfield informs us.

There are butterflies in my stomach. The same butterflies that I would always get when I had a crush on Joe.

Although, they are not exactly the same. Both are of excitement, but these are much stronger ones.

I used to be excited when Joe would talk to me, but now I'm excited that he could remember our relationship. It's all about experience. Back then, I got nervous butterflies because we'd only talked a few times. But now, we've shared so much, he means so much to me.

It hurt so much when he was taken away from me. It made me do things I regret. Things I know Joe would be ma at me for. I had relapsed, and it was bad. But that was when I had no hope. Now, I have so much hope and want that it's practically spilling out of me.

Now, things could be the way they used to be. We could be happy again. Although it may be blind hope, it's still there and I'm not giving up on it. I'm not giving up on Joe, no matter what. I believe the old Joe is still in there, and that Joe wouldn't want me to be sad. This Joe wouldn't want me to be sad. I have to maintain a positive attitude or nothing will be achieved.

"Caspar!" I hear someone call. That same someone sighs. "You didn't hear a word I just said, did you?" I shake my head.

Cat repeats herself. "I said that we have multiple treatment options, but I think the most effective one will be just to try and jog his memory in any way you can." I smile gratefully as her pager beeps. "I've gotta go. Good luck, Caspar!"

I thank her and she's off. I exchange a glance with Zoë as we look into Joe's room. He's on his phone, smiling, scrolling through the trending tag, #JoeRemembersZalfie

"Well Caspar, here goes nothing." And we walk into the room together.

-

Over the next few weeks, we do everything we can to try and get Joe to remember.

I've showed him our coming out videos, which he just stared blankly at. I've showed him our couples tag, which he raised an eyebrow at. I joked about Emma Lee, which he laughed along with, but not in the way I did.

One night, we had a talk about our future, if we would get kids. It ended with Joe saying, "You know what? I don't know about anything since we're still young." We both laughed, and it became a joke that we would always tell. He didn't remember.

I'm currently standing with Dr. Hadfield at the end of the third week. I'm practically crying. I'm beginning to lose hope. But I won't tell anyone, not even myself. I keep lying to myself. And that's never good.