Chapter 10 - Lets Talk

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Yay more Joe POV!! Also did any of y'all watch the Sam Smith awards? I mean Grammys
Every single one of you rn: haha wow you're so funny😒

-Joe POV-

I was going to have to see Caspar some time or another. I can't keep avoiding him like this. I decide to go upstairs, as he is up there.

I take a deep breath at the bottom of the stairs and start my ascent. Caspar is on the couch, watching pre-recorded episodes of Marcus Butler TV. I plop down next to him.

"Hey." He looks at me as if I'd just told him something preposterous, but doesn't say anything.

"You're going to have to talk to me sooner or later." He takes a deep breath and puts his head in his hands.

"I wasn't lying. I know I said I was but I wasn't. I find you attractive Joe. You're so beautiful. I love the way your eyes glisten in the light. I love how your hair shapes itself and it still is amazing. I love your perfect smile. I love your laugh. I love how you laugh at my jokes, even when they aren't funny. I love how easygoing you are. I love everything about you, Joe. I love you, I love you, I love you."

I am slightly taken aback by his words. I've never had anyone like me this much before, especially not a man.

I look back at Caspar. He still is bent over with his forehead pressed against his palms. I notice the floor underneath him is wet, and as I do I see another drop fall from his eye. He is rocking back and forth, and I feel the need to comfort him.

I go to rub his back, and whisper comforting words. He sobs and jumps up.

"GODDAMMIT, JOE! STOP! EITHER YOU LIKE ME OR YOU DONT, MAKE UP YOUR GODDAMN MIND!"

He has a new kind of passion in his eyes. A passion of hatred. I feel tears well up in my own eyes. I blink, causing them to run down my cheeks.

"You ever think that I might be going through things too?" I raise my voice a little, but don't scream.

"I always thought I was straight until you came along, Caspar! I've always found girls pretty I've always had an interest in them. But you- you're just so goddamn amazing."

I say the last part quietly, just loud enough for Caspar to hear. He sits back down next to me. His tone is softer than before when he asks,

"Joe?" Almost as if prompting me to go on.

I wipe my eyes and look into his.

"I don't know if I like you, but I think I might." I say slowly. I explain myself.

"I keep having these... feelings. About you. I try to ignore them but they take over my mind. I can't stop thinking you, Caspar. And I don't know why."

I say this all very slowly, and calmly. Caspar looks like he's about to cry again but then says

"It's obvious that you're at least bisexual, Joe. But it looks like you don't want to accept that. When you have made your decision I will be in my room."

He leaves the room without another word.

-----A/N-----

Sorry this is so short 😞

Did I bring this on too quickly? Should I have ha another chapter in between? Idk how I feel about this sry for it.

Tbh Caspar's snapchat about Joe not being on the plane was so cute holy frick.

And Joe's vlog where he was like: "YOU WILL BE INSIDE OF ME" or something and then he panned up to caspar and he said "not you" I DIED HOLY MOTHER OF BABY JESUS and then you can faintly hear caspar say "aw" or maybe that was just in my mind lol.

Also dun wuri. Them liking each other and admitting their feelings is just the beginning i have lots more planned for them muahahahah

I keep trying to play dumb with my sister but try to get on the topic of scars idk i just kind of want her to tell me but it doesnt look like she will.

Im too nervous to ask *~*

I keep having things to put in the authors notes but always forget them gah 😫

Twitter/IG/Tumblr: beckzilla178

Vine: Becky D

Love you❤️

-Rebecca xxo

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