INSIGHT ON MAI DIARY

~Chapter 8~

Blair's POV

Dear Diary,
'Spears and stones may hurt my bone, but words can never hurt me
Whoever wrote this, we need to talk.

After my last encounter with dad's wife, my life has become a living hell.
That night, I slept on the ground. I caught a cold. And I think my skin reacted with something and now I have measles.

That night, I felt like my body was asleep, but my mind was awake. The incident of the previous night replayed in my head.
Dad's wife calling me all those names, hitting me, and a bunch of other stuff I'll most likely have to get used to.

Welcome to my reality. I've never felt so useless. So unwanted. Maybe I'm a mistake. Just look at it this way.
* No one loves me at home
* Practically everyone hates me at school.
* The only reason my teachers like me is because I bring home the medals. And I'm never even allowed to take the cash price home. Everything is always kept at school.

Now tell me who cares about me...
That's right, no one. There's no one. Maybe I should just end it all. Why haven't I done that before... I am probably scared of what they do with my body.
I finally fixed my reputation at school and I'm gonna keep it that way, and to do that I need to be extra careful
Love,
B.

I hid my diary back in its usual spot and stood up from the floor where I passed the night and went to the kitchen.

I make spaghetti and garlic sauce and head up to get ready for school. I take my bath and put on my school uniform.
It's my birthday today, but I honestly doubt anyone remembers. After all, I'm not the most important thing in the house. I make my way down the stairs as I was about to leave the house.
Then...

"BLAIR!!! WHAT SOUGHT OF A USELESS CHILD ARE YOU?!" It shouldn't be hard to guess who is talking...I mean screaming on a normal day, but Lucky me, today is not a normal day. In fact, there's no normal day in my life. For the sake of clarity, it's dad screaming.

"SIR!!!" I raced to do the kitchen.

"What is this?!" Dad exclaims.

"What is what?" I asked confused.

Wrong move... I don't know what dramatic effect to use for this, but I was smacked across the cheeks.

SPLAT!!!

Perfect effect.

Anyway, I think I went blind for half a minute as I tried to understand what just happened.

"Answer me, now!!!"

"I don't..." Dad cut in with another slap, probably sensing my answer was going to be the same.

"Is this food?! Is this what your useless mother taught you to cook?! This thing looks like food poisoning!"

I'm on a serious note, it IS food poison.
Pay attention to the extra stress in the word "is". Like, who on Earth cooks food without salt? Dad never allows us to cook food like rice or yam or spaghetti with salt. The salt stays in the sauce or stew or soup... whichever.
I keep on looking not knowing what to say.

"What are you still doing here?!", Dad screeches.

I made to run out of the kitchen and...

"Answer me now. I expect answers when I ask questions. I didn't give birth to morons", he said with his oh-so-authoritative tone.

"You were the one who called me"

"Shut up my friend. Now get out of here. Idiot!!!"

No surprise here. I make my way for the door.
As the universe would have it, I met dad's wife by the doorway and the intensity of her glare was enough to push a full-grown man 6 feats below.
I scramble out of the house.

After about 20 minutes of trekking, I see the ash colour of Wilson High's buildings

"Hey B," I heard a familiar voice call to me.
I recognize that voice any day.

"Only my friends call me that," there's a lot more hatred in my voice than I expected. We are both taken aback by my outburst. I didn't show it though and he was quick to recover.

"Good morning to you too,"

"Cut to the chase," my voice becomes void of emotions.
I think the night is starting to get to me.

"Right," he responded
"Happy birthday," I almost didn't hear him.

"You remembered?" I'm not gonna lie. I was shocked he remembered.

"Yeah. I did. And I got you something," he said and brought out two tickets to see a movie at the movies.
That movie is like the best. I have watched the trailer like a hundred times. And it's only available at movies theaters
Only an idiot with a sadistic background would turn it down.

And that's what I am.

So I turned it down.

" I really appreciate it. But I can't make it. I'm sorry,"
" Thanks for wishing me. It means a lot"

With that, I walked away. I know he's most likely hurt. But I didn't have any other options and he kinda deserves it for ruining my reputation. So, I
I'm not taking all the blame here.
I didn't look back. I just moved straight to my locker and entered the codes to retrieve my book for the first few periods.

"Hey B," Patrick said walking up to me with Arian beside him.

"Hey guys," I greet cheerfully, even though it's the exact opposite of what I'm feeling.
Sometimes I surprise myself.

"Good morning, stranger," Arian greets.

" You look happy. Something you wanna share?", Arian asked wiggling her eyebrows.

"Don't do that," was the only response I gave her before walking to my first class to get settled.

The first period is physics. Like who puts that goddamn subject in the morning when your brain is yet to wake up.
Henry walks in soon after and sits next to me

"I'm sorry," he says. I could almost feel the regret sipping out of his voice.
Almost...

"For stealing my first kiss, drugging me, assaulting me, using me for a stupid dare, or ruining my reputation?" I ask, my voice still void of emotions. It's like they either run away or come out forcefully around him.

"All of the above"

"I hate you"

" I'm really sorry"

" You're so selfish! You care only about yourself"

"You don't know me. How can you just judge me?!" He raises his voice in anger and the whole class turns their head toward us.

" I think I'm the only one here with the right to be angry. I'm not gonna be reasonable right now. So just go,"

" I thought you were different," pain was evident in his voice.
But I'm too stressed to care. I need my space.

" Was that why you decided to do that to me?"

He didn't know what else to say.

"Thought so," I say, signifying the end of the conversation.
With that, he walks away. I almost didn't see the tears brimming in his eyes.
Almost...
But I did.