Bonds of Light and Fire

29. Prisoners of Affection

The artwork above is not mine.

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"That's the last trunk," Sellene said, folding her arms across her chest. Two servants set a large chest down beside three others. They bowed to the Queen and ducked out the door. Vaughan stared at the trunks, unable to make himself speak.

Fenrys did it for him. "Thank you. We'll be leaving as soon as we're done with this."

"Is there something you'd like done with the things you don't take?" Sellene asked.

Vaughan closed his eyes, swallowing hard. "Preserve them," he said, before Fenrys could reply. "And anything else you find. If people are going to know about Maeve, they should know about us as well."

"Very well." Sellene gave them each a nod and left the room, closing the door behind herself.

Fenrys came closer to Vaughan and they eyed the trunks for several long minutes. "Have you spoken to your spies yet?" Fenrys asked in a low whisper.

"I plan to while we're on our way to the ship."

"All right." Silence reigned again. "Do you want to open the first one or shall I?" Fenrys jerked his chin towards the trunks. Vaughan didn't reply. Fenrys hesitated a moment longer, then unlocked the trunk and lifted the lid. He knelt beside it, already peering into the depths.

Vaughan breathed in the familiar scent that rose from within the chest, dew, foliage, and cedar. It was so similar to Fenrys' scent, mist, heather, and oak. The first items Fenrys drew out of the trunk were merely clothes. A few shirts, a pair of pants, and one set of leathers. Fenrys set them aside and sifted through the contents.

"You know, Nascha and I don't plan to have kids for a while, but we've talked about names a few times," Fenrys said. "She said that if I wanted to, we could name our children after Con and Seraphina. But the more I think about it, the more I think I'd rather name our children after her brothers, than mine."

"Why?" Vaughan asked.

Fenrys shrugged, glancing back at him. "I've just thought perhaps you'd want to use Connall's name instead."

Vaughan arched a brow. "You would be all right with that?"

"Yes."

Vaughan crouched beside him, resting his hand on the lip of the trunk. "I appreciate the thought, but I doubt I'll ever have kids."

"Don't tell me you view marriage like you view a Mating or carranam bond."

"I don't. I just don't think I'll ever have kids. I don't think I'll ever marry, either."

"Why?" Vaughan couldn't meet Fenrys' gaze. "You really don't want to move on, do you?"

"Sometimes circumstances prevent it," Vaughan murmured.

Fenrys straightened. "That's bullshit, Vaughan, and you know it. You were worried that I wasn't letting myself move on. That I was letting past experiences hold me back. Why was it so important for me to move on when you won't allow yourself to do the same?"

"You deserved to."

"And you don't?"

"No."

"Why?"

"I don't deserve to move on for the same reasons I deserve to feel pain and guilt. It should've been me, but instead it was them. Connall and my family."