Internal Hell

Ward 41: Touch Me

"Marriage with love is entering heaven with one's eyes shut, but marriage without love is entering hell with them open".

-Alec-Tweedie

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Harix had been so intimate to Drayan, but Drayan stayed distant from him.

"What are you doing?"Drayan asked her husband when she saw him arranging the pillow and laying down his body beside her.

"I am sleeping"Harix tiredly exclaimed.

"Harix get up,Harix"

"Drayan let me sleep,I have three operations today"

Drayan didn't say anything but instead stood up and planned to sleep on the sofa

"Drayan"
She didn't make any sound,she just punched her pillow many times

"Drayan come here"

"Just sleep"

"Let's sleep"

Harix called while forcing his heavy eyelids to stay opened

"I am going to sleep Harix,I am tired too"

"Sleep on the bed"

"I am fine here" Drayan answered with an irritated tone. She wanted to sleep in her bedroom, but the contract said that she would sleep in her husband's bedroom. She wanted to ignore the contract, but of course the devil won't let it slide.He planned it from the start,like an engineer who cautiously and detailedly created his building.

"I will stand and you will not like what I am going to do" Harix stated while turning on his pervert side.
Drayan ignored her husband while trying to spread the mantle using her feet.

"Drayan,I am serious"

"We are not couple Harix"

"We are married"

"We are not a normal MARRIED couple"

"Are we going to discuss this useless thing again?"

They both remembered when Harix told his mom that their marriage was a forced marriage. The husband thought that his wife had already forgotten it.

"Useless? It's the reality, my dear"

"The reality is you are married to me,so whether you like it or not, you will sleep with me"

It's their first night after they signed the contract again.Since they were not divorced, they didn't need to get married again and the contract was just collateral just in case Drayan would forget her promise.

"You forced me"

"Ha...you are stubborn,couldn't you see I am tired?"

"I am trying to sleep here,you are the only one talking"

"Just come here"

"I don't want to, even if you force me, I will not go there"

"You signed the contract,and I presumed that you understood what you had signed"Harix was sitting now, the tiredness was still visible on his face, but he was trying to forget his drowsiness.

"You are tired"

"You can't ignore me,you can't stay away from me even if you want to"

"What if I will still do it?"

"You will not like what I am going to do then"

Out of the blue ,Drayan was already cornered on the sofa.Her husband's strong arm already caging her.Harix half body was enveloping her.He treated his wife like a money that being put inside the envelope.His wife was the money, and he was the envelope.

He was staring at her with full desire,just like how he looked at her the first time they met but the only difference now was aside from the lust,there was love.

"Harix"she whispered.Her inside was panicking and yet her husband was oblivious to her internal storm.

"Love me Drayan"He asked, he begged,he pleaded, but Drayan's brain didn't process it and instead said the words that led her husband to kill the passion and suppress his burning desire at the moment

"I am the one who will going to ask you now, leave me or rape me?"

Her last words almost couldn't be heard but Harix clearly heard it.
These were the words that dug and rubbed Harix healed scars and sin.

So after all what he had done, after all the regret, after all the love, he was still the beast in her eyes.He didn't produce any sound.He just released her.He just stood up and walked out.

On that night Drayan knew that she won, but she also knew that she touched something that shouldn't be touched.She burned something that already burnt.Now she didn't know what she would be going to do, she would celebrate or would she regret it?
__________

Harix was hurt.He knew that what he did to her was a mortal sin, but he already gave his sincere repentance and his baba's fighting for life was already a payment for his sin. A fear of losing his baba anytime was killing him.He didn't know when and where he would meet, and he would hear that his baba was losing the fight.

He abruptly closed his eyes and settled in the kitchen.He sat there while trying to think.He kept on wondering how on earth he fell in love with the woman who couldn't love him back,who couldn't forgive him.

After a long moment of thinking he decided to sleep in the guest room, but while taking the route to the guest room his phone rang

"Doc Lea"

"Harix? This is bad news"

"Why?"Harix asked while trying to calm his self.The call was from the hospital.He was trying to guess if this was about a dying patient,an emergency operation or his baba.

"Your baba"
Upon hearing the words,Harix didn't let the doctor finish.He immediately ran to his car.

Drayan felt guilty on what she did,she decided to sleep on the bed again, whatever would happen tonight she knew that her honor and pride had already been paid, but deep inside her, she knew that he was not a beast anymore,he had been changed, but it was not easy for her to get close to him again.She was trying to guard her bruised heart.She was trying to save the piece of dignity remaining on her.

She walked to the bed,and arranged it, but while doing it she heard the sound of her husband's car.

"Where is he going?"she asked particularly to herself

"Of course he will leave, you hurt her ego Drayan"she stated again,trying to comfort her guilty self

Harix stopped his car after the guard closed the gate and dialed the number of Manong Pelo.

"Young Effendi?(master)"

"Manong, leave the tower house and stay in the basement"

"Why?"

"I need to go to the hospital"

"Old master?"

"Yeah,just take care of Drayan"

"Yes young master,yes"

Harix drove at full speed,if he could just fly,he would fly just to get to the hospital faster.

"Ya Allah save my baba" but instead of panicking he just calmed himself through supplication.

The husband left for his baba, but the wife thought that her husband was mad. What would happen to Harix's father?would Harix let his father go? And what about their marriage? Were they still going to continue their heartless and confused arrangement?