Internal Hell

Ward 4: Break Me

And God said, Love your enemy, & I obeyed Him & loved myself."

Khalil Gibran

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Drayan was waiting for her nono, but she noticed that it was already dark and her nono was not home yet.

She decided to find him in the backyard, but when she reached the wooden carpentry house she saw her nono lifeless body.

Drayan was shocked and devastated, she ran to check if her Nono was still alive.
She shook his body, she called his name many times but her nono didn't answer”Nono! Nono?”

She called loud enough until she screamed his name"Nono! Nono!” but nay, her nono couldn't answer anymore because his soul was transferred to another dimension. He died from a chronic illness that he was carrying and hiding for so long.

The neighbors heard Drayan's voice, and they were shocked to witness the pitiful scene, they helped her in the funeral process, and they also called her father.

He was planning to teach her many things about life and faith, but before he could do it, his life had been taken by Allah in the middle of summer.

The only knowledge he gave to his grandchild was about Allah and hijab, and after that, he left the world.

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Drayan's father immediately went to his ex-father-in-law's house after he heard the news. He understood that he needed to comfort his child. He thought what he would be going to witness was just a lonely and crying Drayan, but he was shocked to see her mad state.

He could see that his little princess was beyond broken. She looked sick inside and out. This sudden departure of her nono from life brought nothing but uninvited pain and river of tears to Drayan

"Princess" His baba called her. She didn't respond;she was just looking at her nono's bed. Her nono's body was almost ready to be brought to his grave, but their neighbor didn't let Drayan see her Nono leaving because it would hurt the poor child even more.

Her nono was her everything. For her, he was her annem(mother) and baba(father). Her nono was her rock, she was slowly healing, there was progress, but the treatment was stopped because of her nono's sudden death.

“Princess” Her baba called her again. He went nearer to her so that his daughter would notice him.

“Let's go home, my princess”

"No, no,no....!" Drayan shouted, she was shouting while allowing the tears to come out.

Her father couldn't afford to see his daughter's crying face,, and he wished he could take away her pain and put it to his heart instead.

"Let's go home" He slowly sat beside her.

"No... Nono"

"Please child, Nono will be sad if you will not come with me"

"He will come, he he will come, I can hear his footsteps, he will come Baba, he will not leave me" she said while crying but sometimes stifle a hard laugh.

She recognized her baba, but her baba didn't know her true mental state.He didn't know that his child was slowly losing her mind and might totally become incurable.

Drayan was very lost,she became worse.She didn't know about the five times prayer,she had forgotten all the supplications that she had memorized, and she didn't know fully Islam or she still did, but it was buried beneath her memory.

After her nono died, her father brought her to his second family. Her father was not a practicing Muslim, so the lesson she had learned from her nono buried together with her nono's body.

But his baba loved her, and he was willing to find the cure but what his Papa didn't know was that, what was destroyed in her was not her brain it was her inner peace.

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"Why did you bring her to us?" The wife of Mr. Pura asked him why they needed to shelter Drayan. It was a bad idea to bring Drayan to their home, but he couldn't leave the poor child alone.

"What to do Parsa? She is my own daughter" Mr.Pura said while helping his wife set the table for their lunch.

"You brought an additional burden"

"I will take care of her, and I am the father of this house"

"Take care? Are you a doctor? That child is not normal" When she saw Drayan she immediately concluded that the child belonged in the mental hospital and not in their house.

"Lower your voice Parsa, the child might hear you"

"I am telling the truth, she isn't normal"
She remembered when Mr.Pura introduced Drayan to her, the child just looked at her with her two layers eye bag caused by crying from her nono's death.

"She is my child,I don't want to hear those words anymore"

"You should bring her to the hospital, whether you accept it or not your child is defective"

"Parsa!" Mr.Pura warned his wife while suppressing his anger.

"A girl who laughs when she is sad, and just suddenly cries out of nowhere, do you want me to take care of that kind of girl?"

"I'll never ask you to take care of her,I can take care of my own child!" This was the first time they prolonged their argument. Usually, when his wife was angry, he just chose to remain silent, but he couldn't close his mouth this time because no one would protect his lonely child. If her mother was not in another country, he would surely deposit his child to her mother, but his ex-wife was in a foreign country busy making money for her parents and for Drayan.

The issue of Mrs.Parsa was not about food or money because they had enough food to bring to the table but as soon as Mr.Pura would visit the doctor to cure Drayan,Mrs. Parsa was already betting that there was a money shortage approaching.

But what triggered Mrs.Parsa's jealousy was her husband was full time taking care of her crazy daughter, he had almost forgotten that he had another children.

But Drayan was a special case, like what his wife said she wasn't normal, that's why she needed special attention.

"You should bring her to mental"

Mrs.Parsa spoke again. This was always their discussion every time they ate the three times meal.

"I can't let go of my child Parsa" Mr.Pura said firmly.

"Do you want me to take care of a disabled person?"

"She is not disable,she is just silent"

"And you think that is normal? If she is normal, she is working, she is helping us"

"Parsa, please leave my child alone"

"Why do you need to bring her here?"

"I am her father"

"But we are your family now"

"I am still her father, it will never change"

“Do something”

"What do you want me to do? I am her only family,her mom is in abroad and her nono is dead, where is my heart Parsa? How could I throw away my child?"

"Fine, but you will try to fix her, you will bring her to the doctor and let the doctor decide, if where her home is, in our house or in the mental" Mrs.Parsa said firmly

"You are a cruel woman"

"I am trying....to help you, don't challenge me or else I would be forced to let you choose".

"Parsa"

"You are hurting me now because of her, you never shouted at me before"

"You went overboard," Mr.Pura softly replied. Since he didn't want to argue anymore, he just got the prepared tray of food for Drayan and brought it to his child's bedroom.

"Okay feed her like a baby, and be the super dad to your insane daughter!"
Mr.Pura could clearly hear her, but he just ignored the barren talk of his wife.

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Now Drayan fell to another pit of hell, would curing her still be possible when the mother of her new home was making her mind even more restless?