Internal Hell

Ward 8: Strengthen Me

"And ever has it been known that love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation".

Khalil Gibran

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After a long day and after he performed his last surgery,Harix retired for the night . He was dying for a rest, he felt exhausted, but his employees and clients couldn't see it because he was hiding it behind his stoic and devil handsome face. Another reason why the exhaustion was not visible on the face of the doctor was because it was a kind of tired from within.

Harix entered the white private room, this was his favorite room in the hospital, for this was where his favorite man sleeping for so long.

Lying on the long iron bed was the reason for his desperation ,it was also his main inspiration for giving his best in the field of medicine. He studied almost all the cures to help his favorite man, but the wound of the man was not a simple wound that could be treated by a simple antidote. When he met Mr. Pura,he couldn't help but relate to the man.

"Baba" Harix called his dad,he took a seat on the bed and held his dad's hand.

He kept on talking, but no sound came out from his baba. His Baba had been unconscious since he was 17 years old. When his baba's blue car collided with the big truck, his life had almost taken away by the angel of death.

"Baba, someone came and begged me to help him" . It was a habit of him to tell his favorite man about his confusions and troubles in life.

"Shall I help him, Baba? But the thing is his child is a woman, and you know that I have a major issue with women"

There were four men who knew the dark secret,Harix,his abhi,King Frego and nono,but since Drayan's nono already left the world,and Mr.Frego's life was pending,the secret now was safe to the two guilty men.

"You have been in this state for 10 years,you have been silenced for 10 years baba" his hard shell was slowly cracking, then the water that he hid from the crowd was slowly coming out from his eyes.Tears of regret and longingness. Sometimes he asked if for how long he would endure this crazy pain,this hard torture. But then he couldn't deny that this punishment he was experiencing right now was nothing compared to the sin they committed ten years ago.

"I wish you could answer me,you could tap my shoulder and tell me what I should do"
His tears dropped on his right hand. The first time he saw him lying on the white bed,what he wanted to do at that time was to wake him up. Hoping that when his father heard his voice,he would wake up. Though Mr.Frego was just sleeping,Harix's voice of repentance wasn't enough to make him get up from his deep slumber.

"Look at me Dad,I am in wreck,Maestro was right,if he brought me here during the time I didn't find Allah yet,I would be ruined" his maestro didn't bring him until he found his right path.His baba encountered the accident after he visited his rebel son.On that day too, his baba bid his farewell while carrying his bruised heart. Yes,his rebel son hurt him and told him that he would never change and would continue to chase his freedom and do his thing.And this was the young man regretted the most,their last talk was their last argument.

"If I didn't find Him,I would still keep blaming myself,but I know it was qadr,but even so I couldn't help but break seeing your body half staying in this world and half staying in the grave"

His baba was suspended between life and death, and it pained him to accept this reality. He was looking at the pale but ageless man sleeping like a beautiful princess who was waiting to be kissed by a handsome prince.

Yes,it was a struggle for him to live in pain, but seeing his dad's body lying on the white bed was still better than seeing it inside the brown soil.At least there was still a chance that he would wake up and would see his father in human form again.There was still small hope that he could respond to the hug that his son was giving him every day.

His hope was not dying yet.He believed that someday his baba would wake up.They said that what kept him alive was the machine wired to him. But he didn't believe it,he strongly believed that it was Allah who caused his baba to continue on fighting,if Allah wanted to take his baba's life, the machine would not work to maintain and revive his dad's breathing and the thought of letting go his dad was not visited his mind yet, this meant that when his dad's time came, Allah would give him strength to let go the man.

What he was asking now was not the strength to let go of his baba, he was asking for strength to wait for his baba to wake up.

"I will help this man for you,I will make you proud again,I made you proud so many times recently,you have many prizes to give me,so wake up now"He said boastfully,he knew that his old man would be going to be happy to see him as a new man, although his baba already knew that there was good in him that he kept hidden or buried to avoid being abused and used. He didn't publicize his good side because he was afraid that people would always expect him to be a perfect man. His baba knew that he was afraid to be like him.

His baba story was dull and very boring,it was like his first son,Leo Erick. He didn't follow what he wanted ,he just obliged and followed his parents' demand. He wasn't happy at first but along the way,when he saw the result of his uncomfortability,he finally concluded that his parents were right. And for him seeing his parents proud and happy was a pure bliss like indeed a true happiness, that he felt almost satisfied with life.Why not? Pleasing the good and feeble parents was like pleasing your creator above.

Harix wanted to reject and ignored the man who asked for his help.But his hard heart softened because he imagined his baba reprimanded him for not helping the man. This was his job as a doctor, to treat his patients. However there was something in him dictating him to reject Mr.Pura's request. There was a personal reason for that, personal enough that only his abhi knew.

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With the doubts forming in Harix's head because of his personal reason, would Harix still grant Mr.Pura's request ?