"Flatter me, and I may not believe you. Criticize me, and I may not like you. Ignore me, and I may not forgive you. Encourage me, and I will not forget you. Love me and I may be forced to love you".
- William Arthur Ward
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Harix didn't immediately agree to his Nana.He asked for a grace period to think about his Nana's proposal.
He was in the office trying to arrange the file in his drawer but since he had also disarranged thoughts he couldn't concentrate on doing it.
"Shit" Harix groaned while closing the closet forcefully which created a loud bang.
"What's wrong with my boy?"
"Maestro" Harix looked at the man standing on the entrance of his glass door.
He was already there a moment ago but his student didn't notice him because he was absorbed by his Nana's crazy plan.
His maestro sat on one of the clients' chairs.
"Spill the beans,don't withhold it" From the moment he saw his favorite student's frustrated face,he immediately concluded that his student had a problem,but he always had a problem so it was not new to him.
"How many times do I need to purify myself for my sins to be forgiven?"
"What happened?" His maestro observed him,he was wondering why his favorite boy was talking again about his past mistake.
"Nana wants me to marry my patient"
"Really ? haha,I mean wow!"
His maestro laughed,a real laugh like he had heard a funny joke. He thought Harix's problem was more than serious but he laughed because Harix's problem was the union of hearts,on which he was avoiding and allergic to talk about , because the handsome doctor wanted to enjoy his bachelor title until his last breath.
"I am glad you see my problem as a joke"
He gave his disappointed face to his maestro.So even his maestro would want to agree to his nana's crazy scheme.
"Teyzi(aunt) is cruel,I know son,I know"
His maestro comforted him while trying hard to maintain his serious expression.
"Yeah right"
"But you are single,there is nothing wrong with that"
"I can't ...I am not capable to be a husband"
"This is all about it then"
"I can't live with her, I hate her maestro,I need to watch her,to guide her,to teach her,I feel like I need to kill myself first in able to that" He felt restless these passed few days.The woman was complicated to take care of.Although he was not full-time on babysitting the woman,the shouts from the insane girl and the complains of his old servant were already enough to make him felt restless.
And when his servant couldn't handle Drayan anymore he was forced again to manage the woman.Hate was a heavy word,but obviously he was not doing it for love.He sheltered her because of the hanging promise and hidden undying guilt.He treated her because he was a doctor. Without these heavy reasons he wouldn't perform this crazy act.He hated his situation but he had been acting cautiously not recklessly.This was what he became,he could live in a mad state while keeping his mind sane.This was his forte, to grow outside of his comfort zone.Although sometimes he complained but still did his duty very well.
"Why are you talking about death?"
"What I mean maestro for me to help her,I need ..."
"You need to love her,and loving her is impossible it is like killing you"
"Naam(yes)" Harix gave a sharp answer
"But son you don't need to love, you just need to be kind"
"You don't understand maestro,in this experiment I need to penetrate her heart"
"Before you can do that you need to accept her"
His maestro was in sync with his mind.They were similar in many things,it was not hard for them to understand each other
"You know my answer"
"Well since you have no choice,if you want her to let you in,you need to do it step by step,there is no shortcut here son" Maestro Frank was finally regaining his adulthood again.He was now seriously advising the young doctor.
"What do you mean?"
"Well you need to accept the fact that she is your wife,and then try to understand her,show kindness to her,and then she will let you in,see no need to love her romantically, you can love her as a friend or as a human?"
"Do you think it will work? What if she will mistake my kindness for love? What if when I become kind to her she will fall in love with me?"
"What's that confidence all about?"
"I am just going to agree with this marriage to fulfill a promise,I am not planning to invest my heart here"
"What if the powerful word you are talking about might be the cure?"
"She has an unsound mind"
"People with unsound mind need respect and love"
"I can't give love"
"Are you really sure that she will be the one who will do that?"
"You know me maestro"
"Of course son,that heart was already locked long time ago"
"I think it is late, you need to go back to the academy"
Harix didn't want to talk about his heart,he was not sure if he had possessed this piece of flesh.But if he did, it didn't lock actually,it just became cold.
"Okay,but give a thought to my suggestion"
"I don't know"
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When Harix decided to jump to sacred contract would this beast doctor could separate his heart from this marriage?
YOU ARE READING
Internal Hell
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