"Love is exactly the word I'd use...It's the only thing that comes close to describing this hell with you".
— Meg Collett
🌼🌼🌼
Harix came home late again, and his wife waited again.
"Young master?" Mrs.Kana asked with the obvious weariness in her voice
"Mang Pelo is already waiting you should go"
"Yes...but your wife"Mrs. Kana was hesitant to leave because she was worried with Drayan
"She is supposed to be sleeping now" Harix said in an autocratic way
"She is in the dining room waiting"
"What?"
"Please join her young master,she has been there for two hours"
"I told you I will be late" Harix said angrily
"You know her,she is stubborn"
"Just go" Harix had no plan to join Drayan but when he turned around,the girl was already in front of him.
"I am starving" Drayan childishly said.
"No one asked you to starve to death" Harix said while proceeding to the dining table.
______
They were sitting now and Drayan immediately told a story. She was dying to tell the news to her husband,it was related to the state of her heart.
"I asked Mrs.Kana how to tell someone that you love him" With a restless heartbeat and wetted hands Drayan put her true feelings on the table. Harix just continued on eating.He was praying that she would not talk about this forbidden feeling.He was suffering right now because of this.
"Harix?"
"Hum" He was forced to answer this time "I think ....I am fallen for my doctor" This was the major reason why she waited.She trusted and needed the man.Trusting and needing could equate to love according to Mrs.Kana.
Harix heard it clearly,it was a symphony that traveled to his ear and ran to his veins,until it resided in his heart , but he still chose to give the wrong answer.
"Drayan love is not something that can be carelessly said,it is something that can be felt"
"but we__"
"that night was nothing,we are just curious"
"curious?" Drayan asked unbelievelably. In her mind she would not do it even if she was dying from curiosity.
"naam(yes)"
"it was a union of soul Harix" Drayan's heartfelt answer
"it was just a union of the body"Harix's heartless answer.
"but it didn't feel like that" The woman was broken by the doctor's answer.
"because that's what you want to think"
"I can't think what I didn't feel"
"Exactly,that's not love,that feeling..ee.. is just a gratitude not love"
"How could you say that? Is this the reason that you are always holding back?" Drayan concluded that the doctor regretted that night that's why he never talked about it.
"I cured you through Allah's help,I saved you and protected you,you have the right to feel that,but it is not something deep"
"You are unfair"
"Dry you need to under-"
"No you are all the same,why are you doing this to me?Why do all of you keep on leaving me?" Drayan weak but loud voice was shaking the dining table
"It's not like that;it is just(You would hate me when you learn the truth, it was better to hate me now)". He couldn't confess.His brain stated it but his tongue got tied when he was about to say the truth.
"It is just what? ,Iknew it,I knew it,it was one of your lectures? Tell me,that was part of your lecture right? You just use me to feed your desire!"
"Please forget about it"
"is that easy for you? let me give you a lesson for the first time,don't make love if you are not in love,I am not just a body,I am a soul" Drayan heavy advice to the man. After her poetic expression of pain she stood up from her chair leaving her plate still full of food.
"Where are you going,you are not done yet" Harix tried to dictate her to finish her food.
"I am full and a fool" Drayan last words before she ran to her room. Harix swallowed the hatred and pain of her wife.He didn't want this,ever since he had known the truth, he started to keep on hurting the woman.Of course it was obvious that the woman was madly in love with him,they didn't need the forbidden tarot to forecast it.
"Ya Allah I don't like this pain" Harix said while eyeing their unfinished food.
"Young effendi are you done?"
"Yes mang Pelo,I will leave this mess to you"
"No problem my master" Harix went upstairs and before he entered his room, he looked at his wife's bedroom door.He mentally noted to himself that someone would not be sleeping tonight due to guilt.
________
Drayan was enjoying her breakfast when she noticed someone sat and joined her on the dining table. She thought he had already left but due to a sleepless night he woke up late. Drayan ignored the man and ate very fast so that she could automatically leave.
"If you will get choke I will not help you" This was her husband's way to say to eat slowly but she ignored him again. She didn't even look at him when her husband said the words.
"Your mom called,she wanted to invite you" Drayan relationship with her mom was steady now.The day she reunited with her mom almost created a flood inside their house because of their tears. Even mang Pelo also cried that day.
"Annem invited me to help her in her gardening" She answered to stop her husband from talking
"Good,when?" But he still kept on talking
"I will go there tomorrow, and I guess I will be staying there for a while" She said it,her plan was not for a while but forever. Her words cut the eating moment of her husband.He put down the spoon and fork and his eyes were fixated only to her now.
"How many days?" He worriedly asked.He felt like his princess was rebelling.
"Seven?" Drayan answered unsure
"It's a week already"
"I miss my annem"
"That's too long" Harix disapproved Drayan's leave of absence
"I already told annem"
"You are still weak Drayan,what if you have a panic attack there"
"I will be fine"
"I am not there to take care of you, two to three days will be fine,if you miss your annem invite her here.
"No,three days will do" Drayan didn't win but she was satisfied that she could escape from the torment of the dark behemoth for three days.
YOU ARE READING
Internal Hell
SpiritualThis new sensual feeling made him excited like a horse that was aggressively running to win the race. He was still consumed by the alcohol, the rain wasn't able to wash his intoxication away. His lust was raging like a fire that couldn't be extingui...
