Two Ghosts - Ruel Van Dijk (Completed)

Chapter 31 - I thought you left before

TW I FORGOT THE TW AHHH 

tw this chapter mentions abuse suicide and s/h!!

"What?" I said dumbfoundedly, my eyes wide as saucers, staring into his. He loved me. Ruel loved me. Ruel Vincent Van Dijk, loved me. But why? I was just some boring old girl, and he, he was this amazing, exquisite person that could have anyone he wanted. But he wanted me?

"I love you, and I have ever since we first met," he divulged, softer this time. I just stared at him in shock. I still could not believe what I had just fucking heard. 

"B-but Valory?" I managed to spit out, shaking my head. If he loved me, why was he kissing her?

"I don't want anything to do with Valory anymore. Just let me explain," he disputed, his eyes taking a stronger glint as they stared into mine. I just nodded, really unable to say anything else. "I dated Valory in year 10, a while ago. I had had a crush on her for a while before that, but was too scared to say anything," he started, running his hand through his hair. "Even then, she was known for being manipulative, rude and sneaky. But I was too blinded by my love for her that I didn't see the red flags."

I didn't like where this was going. I already knew what was going to happen at the end of this story, and it didn't seem like it was going to be gentle.

"I suppose she saw that I liked her, and got with me. It was good at the start, it really was. I loved her, and I thought she loved me. I did start to realise she always wanted to take pictures when she was with me, but I thought it was to make memories or something," his voice started to twist, making me understand this was a sensitive topic. I instinctively reached for his hand, resting my fingers gently with his. I rubbed my thumb over his skin, trying to provide him with some comfort. "But when I saw her with him, it was like I wasn't blind anymore.. I felt stupid, and used. She had used me for fame, nothing more."

I watched his eyes glimmer with sadness, tears threatening to flood out of them. I squeezed his hand softly. She really hurt him. I had heard this story before, but hearing it come out of his mouth like this made it sound so much different.

"And of course I tried to get away from her. I did. But she was manipulative. She convinced me to meet up with her one time, and it was like she was a different person. She blackmailed me. She told me that if I didn't do all this shit for her, she would hurt me."

The bruises. It made sense now. They were from Valory. I wanted to throw up. I didn't understand how someone could actually hurt this delicate human being. 

"At first I didn't believe her. But she did hurt me. So I did what she said. She used me. For fame, for intimacy, for money," he continued, not looking me in the eyes. That's why he had kissed her the other night. "And I thought that if I just didn't go anywhere, she couldn't find me. And it did work, for a while. Until she found me one night. She said that if I kept hiding, she would hurt my family. The same if I told anyone about this. So I stopped, because I really did not want anyone else to be involved. But it was all too much, so I started going to parties and drinking my problems away and cutting."

That's why he had been at that party that night. It was all starting to make sense.

"But then, I met you," he professed, looking directly at me. I felt like his stare was burning into me. "And I realised I didn't want to live like that anymore. I didn't want to have to live in fear, and drink or hurt myself to feel okay. But by the time I realised that, I was in too deep of shit to get out. My family didn't even talk to me, Valory already knew she could do whatever she wanted to me, my music career was practically already over, and you were about the only person who would talk to me. The only thing that felt normal, and I guess you could say 'right' was you."

I was right for once. I was all he had, other than unhealthy coping methods. 

"But Valory found out that night at the party. She didn't like it, so she threatened to hurt you. And I didn't want to hurt you, so I tried to stop myself from falling for you. But that didn't work, clearly," he continued, still looking straight into my soul. It was starting to make sense. And I felt like absolute shit for it. He was trying to protect me, but I was stupid, so I put myself and him in danger.  "The night you saw us, she was screaming at me for not cutting you out of my life, and kissed me. And when I saw you, I knew I was fucked, and I'd lost you. And I didn't want to go back to what I had had previously. I didn't want to be abused and taken advantage of anymore, so I..." he trailed off. He had slit his wrists, in attempt to commit. And he had nearly succeeded. 

I wanted to gag, cry and scream. But I couldn't decide which to do, so I just sat in silence, tears collecting in my eyes. "And as soon as I did it, I regretted it. I was watching the blood pool from my wrists and I realised there was so much more I wanted to do with my life. That I didn't want to leave you with just a text. But my vision was already fading away by then, so I thought, so be it," he sighed. I didn't even realise how tight I had been squeezing his hand, until I went to squeeze it again. "But you found me."

I was done by then. Tears were streaming down my face. I let go of his hand and threw my arms around his frail body, somehow still being careful not to hurt him. I buried my head in his neck, my tears dampening his rudely-soft skin. 

"I t-thought I lost you Ruel," I blubbered, as he wrapped his arms back around me, cradling my tear-stricken body. "I thought you left before I could tell you," I blurted, completely unaware of how stupid and incomplete that sentence probably sounded. He had no idea of what I wanted to tell him, and I was going to be too scared to say what I meant.

"I'm so sorry," he whispered, moving a hand to brush through my hair. One hand still rested loosely on my lower back, as mine hung around his neck,my knees stretching over his legs, so my feet were on one side of him, my body seated on the other side of him. He didn't force me to tell him what I needed to. He just waited, let me cry, let me sob, let me do whatever I needed to. He was always that way. Never forcing me to do anything I was uncomfortable with. 

"I thought you left before I could tell you I love you," I breathed into him, unsure if he had heard me. I didn't want to see what his reaction to my comment was. Probably surprise, but I was too scared to look up at him. I don't know why, he had literally told me a few minutes ago that he had loved me too. But my overthinking ass couldn't accept that fact. He planted a small kiss on the top of my head, almost as if he knew I would overthink if he didn't.

a/n

almost done! only like 1 or 2 chapters to go, i just gotta wrap this story up in a burrito and i shall be done. I will probably write another fic bc i am going on holidays on wednesday so look out for that. I love you all bub bye xx

Remember to treat yourself like the fabulous human you are:)

28/11/21

- Bri <3🍇

I cannot be bothered to find a quote please dont kill me bird🤠

Word Count: 1389