Two Ghosts - Ruel Van Dijk (Completed)

Chapter 19 - Glint

TW this chapter displays knives and self harm!!

He just stared at me, happiness glinting in his eyes. I have no idea why, but I suddenly had the gut urge to tell him I knew about his scars. It probably wasn't a good thing I was hiding the fact I knew from him, but I didn't know how he would react if I said it out loud. I never knew with Ruel. 

But I decided to tell him, because I was trying to be open and honest, as I said before.

"Ruel, I need to tell you something," I said straight up, not looking away. I watched as the glint in his eyes turned from happy to curious. It was strange, how he could communicate so well just through his eyes. I could tell a lot about him from the glint in his eyes. "I know about your scars."

And it was gone. The glint was gone. He was numb again. Not angry, not sad, just numb. But that wasn't good. I wanted him to be mad. I wanted him to be sad. Hell, I would've preferred him to chuck a glass at my face and melt on the floor crying. But he was back to being numb, and that meant I was back to square 1. 

"I saw them the night you brought me home," I said quietly, not wanting to make him any more numb than he already was. "I'm sorry."

He sat numbly, silently, staring at the floor. It was honestly terrifying. I wanted him to do something, to feel something. But he didn't.

"Get out," he mumbled, so quietly I thought I had heard him wrong.

"What?" I blurted, still unsure of what I had heard.

"Get out." he said louder this time, looking at me. I didn't want to leave him there alone. I really didn't. But I had to. I couldn't push him, I couldn't test him. So I left. I got up off the floor, walked down the stairs, out of the house and left. 

The walk home was silent. I was by myself after all. But it wasn't peacefully silent. My mind was buzzing with questions. How old were his scars? Who knew about them? Did his parents know? Did Coco and Sylvie know? He was clearly sensitive about them, which I don't blame him for, but sensitive enough to hide them from his family? Maybe. Again, this was Ruel. Nobody knew about his complex mind.

I also really wanted to know more about that place. Who knew about it? Did Valory? Who owned the house previously? How did Ruel find it?

I suddenly felt bad leaving him there by himself. I left him all alone on the floor, to his numb thoughts. I had no idea what he would do. I didn't know how old his scars were. They could've been recent. I had no idea. 

And then I realised I fucked up. Ruel was alone, in a place only he knew about before today, broken mentally, with scars on his wrist, and possibly a knife. 

Fuck.

Fuck Fuck Fuck.

My heart started to beat faster and faster as I turned around and bolted back up the hill. Luckily, I had really only gotten to the bottom of the street, so I was only about 3 minutes away from that house. I sprinted towards the house, through the door, my hair flying everywhere. I ran up the steps, ignoring the burning sensation forming in my legs as I climbed further and further. I didn't care. Ruel could have been lying in a pool of his own blood by now. But thankfully, he wasn't. 

I sprinted into the room. I saw Ruel, sitting on his bed, a shiny silver knife resting gently in his hand. The silver shimmered in the fading sun, giving me an eerie feeling. But I had gotten there before he did anything, and there was absolutely no time to waste. I had to get that knife away from him. 

I walked towards him, but he didn't seem to notice. He was spaced out I guessed. You have to be gentle, I reminded myself. 

"Ruel," I said to get his attention, a lump forming in my throat. He moved his eyes from the knife to me, his colourful eyes still dull. "Please don't do this," I almost whimpered, my voice cracking as tears formed in the inner corners of my eyes. I watched his eyes carefully, spotting a flicker of guilt flash through them, but he still didn't put down the knife. "Please?" I said, barely a whisper as a final attempt to get him to stop. I took his spare hand in mine, realising it was limp and cold. Tears were now freely falling from my eyes, and I watched as my tears pattered on him. They seemed to provide his hand with at least a little bit of warmth. 

I nearly fainted in relief as I watched him put the knife on the bedside table. I did however, hug him. I wrapped my arms tightly around his torso, giving back whatever warmth he had lost. I felt his arms wrap just as tightly around me, like he needed this just as much as I did. I sat considerably awkwardly beside him, not breaking the embrace. But awkwardness did not matter. I just sat there, taking in his scent as my tears continued to fall. I was crying because he was still so broken, and I'd failed to realise. 

"I'm sorry for leaving you here," I apologised, still sobbing. "I'm so so sorry." 

He hugged me just a tiny bit tighter in response, not saying anything.

"And I know this probably doesn't mean much coming from me, but I think your scars just make you even more wonderful," I smiled softly, pulling away. It was true. His scars made him just a tiny bit more wonderful. I watched as a weak smile formed on his cold bitten face. The smile  was weak, but it was there. And that was all I needed.

A/N

This was quickly written bc I rly wanted to get another chapter out before tmrw, bc I will be busy for the week and won't have much time for writing :(

As always, remember to eat something, hydrate yaselves with some water, get some sleep and take good care of yourself! You deserve it. Have a fabulous day my loves, I adore you all. Love ya,

- Bri (grape) 🍇💕

29/10/21

Quote of the day:

People haven't always been there for me, but music always has. 

- Taylor Swift

Word Count: 1099