Chapter 6 - Thrifting

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It was 11:56am, and I was about to hop in Coco's car so we could go thrifting. To be honest, I was really nervous. I was scared I was going to make it awkward, or I would say something to make her hate me again. But she was waiting for me, and me standing there instead of getting in the car would make anyone mad, so I pulled open the door and shoved myself in the passenger seat of the car.

"Morning," I smiled, happy to see she gave me a weak smile back. I sat in silence as she reversed the car out of the driveway and onto the road. We drove in a comfortable silence for about 5 minutes, before Coco broke the silence.

"Have you heard any of Ruel's music before?" she asked randomly, taking a quick glance at me.

"No," I replied truthfully. As I said, I didn't know who he was before we came to their house. I had wanted to play some of it after I had googled his name, but it probably would have been weird of me to play his music in a house he lived in.

"Here, look up 'too many feelings' and press on the first song that comes up," she orated, handing me her phone, which was opened to spotify. I did so quickly, seeing the first one that came up indeed had Ruel's name underneath it. The cover art was him floating in some sort of water with a white button up shirt, soaking wet. I couldn't see it very well because it was small on the search bar, so I pressed on it. The suspense of hearing his voice was killing me slowly.

The song started off with a soft piano playing a somewhat solemn melody. I wasn't sure if it was him playing or someone else, but it didn't seem to matter too much at that time. I was just tuned out, focusing all of my attention on this little tune. But then, he starting singing, and I nearly died right there on the spot.

I let out too many feelings,
shit I should've kept in
probably should've left them all unsaid.

The sound of his voice hit me like a bus. I could hear the rasp in his voice, but it somehow still sounded clear. It wasn't raspy enough to be too much, but it was just enough that made his voice sound absolutely beautiful. There were no words that came to my mind to describe his voice other than exquisite. Utterly exquisite.

Didn't want to scare you
just wanted to be near you,
wanted you to hear what's in my head.

And the lyrics. The fact that an 18 year old of any description could articulate feelings like this in literally 10 seconds was just impossibly amazing to me. I couldn't even describe the taste of my chicken nuggets.

You know,
I'll take it back if
you take me back too.
Too.

The way he worded it made it even more interesting to listen to. It was quite obvious he was talking about dumping his feelings on someone and then them leaving him, but the way he described it made it feel like so much more. It felt like being left in the cold rain with no good bye and no umbrella. It felt like winter nights where you couldn't get warm no matter how many blankets you piled on yourself. It felt like when you get so close to a person but they refuse to let you in. To wrap up, it felt like pain. Pain described in a way that made it more painful to listen to.

We sat in the car, just listening to the music. I would've been lying if I said I didn't like it. There was this one stanza of lyrics that made me think for some reason.

You're doing fine
I'm not coping.
If there was something it's broken.
I had enough but I lost it all.

To me, it sounded like he felt as he had ruined the relationship and then there was nothing left of it. Which made me sad. Even though I had known this guy for two days, something told me that it wasn't his fault.

"Do you know who he wrote this song about?" I asked Coco in the outro.

"I think it was about his ex girlfriend Valory," she replied, not taking her eyes off the road. I should've been more appreciative that Coco was talking to me this freely, but this song and his voice were clouding my brain. If it was about Valory, then he definitely shouldn't have been blaming himself. She cheated on him. Or maybe there was more to the story? I wasn't sure at this point.

Coco pulled into a park outside a huge Vinnies. Well, we were definitely going to spend a while in there.


*

I actually had a surprisingly good time with Coco. We spent the afternoon at the thrift shop, just looking at the clothes and casually chatting. We talked about all kinds of things, clothes, music taste, family, our icks, our taste in guys, everything. She was surprisingly a really easy-going person to talk to. We got along very well, and I think it was safe to call her a friend, and one I knew would be good to have.

By the time we got out of the thrift shop, it was about 6:30 at night. So we decided to get dinner. and then go home. We agreed on sushi (the best food, you cannot fight me on that), and started to drive to get some. While we were driving, Kate called Coco through the car. I wasn't that worried, she was probably just checking we were okay and shit. You know, normal things mothers do to make sure their kids are safe.

But when I stole a glance at Coco, I noticed she looked worried. Her eyebrows were creased and her mouth was tipped in a frown. Maybe this wasn't a regular occurance? I was nervous to see what would happen when or if she would pick up, but I really wanted to see what was happening too.

"Do you mind if I pick up?" she looked over in my direction.

"Of course not," I nodded, trying to sound casual, but just sounding nosy in the end. I sucked in a breath as she picked up the phone.

A/N

I hate this. I hated the ending. It sucked. But i had to get it into another chapter to use a different song bc i have the perfect song for the event i have in my head. You'll see what i mean in the next chapter hehe.

And omg i am dying over let the grass grow. idk what its about or why its called that, but it sounds pretty cool. And knowing mr van dijk here it probably will be.

As always have a lovely day,
remember to nourish yourself with food and water
and do something that makes you super duper happy!

- Bri<3

11/10/21

Quote of the day:

Start prioritising your mental health instead of adjusting to toxic places.

- Thema Bryant-Davis.

Word Count: 1197

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