Chapter 9 - The person I never had

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"I wonder why he came down today, he never comes down," Sylvie queeried, once Ruel had returned to his room. I was just as confused as anything. Why today? Why this time? Why now when he almost certainly had a killer hangover? It was just so random of a time.

"I think I might have an idea, but I can't share it everyone." Coco said quietly, making me wonder what she had in mind. I understood she might not want to tell our family though because it would be a little weird sharing things about Ruel in front of us. But then she said something that surprised me. "Sunday, can I talk to you for a minute?"

"S-sure," I spluttered, her request surprising me. She got out of her seat, gesturing for me to follow. I did so nervously, following her to a corner where I was sure nobody would hear us. She looked me dead in the eyes, not showing much of a sign she was going to talk about something nice.

I was a little bit worried. Even though we were kind of friends, she had made it very clear when we met that she wanted me to stay away from Ruel. And to be frank, I hadn't done that in the slightest. I mean, I was literally standing there wearing his hoodie, that smelt like his cologne. Oh it smelt like flowers and fresh sheets, I was drowning in the scent. It just smelt amazing. Anyway, back to Coco.

"I'm not going to yell at you, don't worry," she said as I let go of a breath I didn't even know I was holding. "I just didn't want to talk to you about this in front of everyone," she continued, still looking at me in the eyes. "I will put this straight. I know you want to get closer to Ruel. I could see it when you looked at him just then. And he likes you. I can tell that he does. Not like likes you, but likes you as more of a friend figure."

I didn't believe what Coco had said. He couldn't possibly like me, all he had done was ignore me ever since he had helped me that night on the walk. Why would he do that if he liked me?

"I know it sounds hard to believe when all he's really done is shove you away. But I wanted to let you know that he is extremely hard to connect with. Ever since Valory broke his heart, all he does is push people away. He hates the thought of letting someone in. But you have to understand the reason he does it is because when he finally did let someone into his heart, they ripped it out and stomped on it." She explained, sadness flashing through her eyes. My brows knitted together. This breakup had really fucked him up. More than I'd initially thought. "I wanted to just put that out there before I ask you this," she sucked in a breath. Ask me what? I felt really clueless at this point. "I think you can help him to get over this. I think if you are willing and dedicated enough, you really could. It is going to be hard, and will probably mentally fuck you up some days. But so many people have tried and failed. And you seem to be one of the only people that he will talk to right now."

I stood there, speechless. Coco wanted me, me to help Ruel. And she thought I had the potential to, when nobody else did.

"Y-yeah of course I will," I spat out, not even thinking it over for a moment. Coco, the girl that hated me two days ago and told me to stay away from her brother at all costs, now wanted me to help him. I mean, I was going to try to help him anyway despite the warning Coco had gave me.

I still don't entirely know why I wanted to help Ruel in the first place. I guess it was because it made me really sad to see that he was that broken. He was as broken as I was. He was going through the same thing I was. I had had a rough past with relationships too. I had this boyfriend about a year ago. We were in love. So so in love. Or that's what I thought anyway. I thought I was going to marry this man for goodness sake. But then, one night at a party, I walked in on him making out with my best friend. I was so heartbroken by it. I was so close with my best friend and him, and I had told her everything about our relationship. Then she went and kissed him behind my back. I locked myself in my room. I refused to see anyone for nearly 2 months. I learnt to escape from reality through books and music. I just pushed away my feelings, and drowned myself in this world that wasn't mine. They broke me. It took me 2 whole months of this endless cycle of reading and crying to finally motivate myself to get up and face the music. Even when I had healed my heart, I was never the same. The hurt was always still there. And neither of them even said sorry to me. They never apologised for all of this harm they had caused. So I left, moved here to Sydney with my family without even telling them. And that, that is why I had to help Ruel. I had to be the person that was there for him, the person that would let him cry as much as he wanted, the person to tell him everything was going to be okay, the person that would be there even when he told them to fuck off and leave him alone, the person to talk to him, to get to him to try to articulate what he was feeling, the person that I needed and never had. I had to. I couldn't let what happened to me happen to him.

A/N

I apologise for the short chapter hehe. If you have read this far ilysm! And ty for 700 views on seen! Idk why people read that shiz but ty anyways:)

Love ya;)

As always have the LOVELIEST day,
remember to nourish yourself with food and water,
and do something that makes you happy!

- Bri<3

14/10/21

Quote of the day:

I ask you to please choose love every single day.

- Harry Styles

Word Count: 1088

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