For those of you who haven't taken advantage of this sebatacle to read the books, I understand why you have come to me in your time of need. (credits to the godfather)
At Borgin and Burkes, in the Knot so good, Knockturn alley
DRACO: Fix this thing
STOREOWNER: Dude I'll try
DRACO: I'm paying you aren't I?
STOREOWNER: yea yea
DRACO: peace out yo. (leaves)
STOREOWNER: friggin spoiled teenagers. Don't even know why a boy would wanna fix a necklace.
HARRY (secretly spying on Draco): Either Draco has a girlfriend whose necklace he broke, or he's working for Voldemort. Yup. Beyond a reasonable doubt, it is more likey he's working for Voldemort than that he has a girlfriend.
On the Train
SLUGHORN: Hey Harry, ma good friend
HARRY: Hey
SLUGHORN: Look! I've invited all the successful kids to the table. You wanna have some tea? Or maybe ice cream? Only kids like you deserve extra ice cream.
said the very sophisticated proffessor
Harry ditches the party
DRACO: Pass the skittles
PANSY PARKINSON: Sure
HARRY (again spying on Draco): I knew it, they're probably evil skittles
Draco find him in his invisibility cloak when everyone leaves.
DRACO: I knew you were spying on me Potter. Potter. You're so uncool Potter (I seriously wish I could convey just how Tom Felton pronounces these 'p's in Potter. I seriously can't even imagine him any other way)
HARRY: Choo gonna do about it punk?
DRACO: Petrificus totalus
HARRY (inwardly): crap Draco leaves. Tonks enters (the pink haired witch who is Narcissa malfoy's sister and is Draco's aunt) and undoes the spell
HARRY: Thanks
TONKS: np
In school
DUMBLEDORE: Our new potions master is Slughorn and our new defence agains the dark arts teacher is Snape
HARRY: Could life get any better?
RON: BTW I'm going out with Lavender Brown
HERMIONE: Whaaat?
RON: Lavnder, isn't she pretty?
HERMIONE: Oh...I just thought you, um, had a thing for someone else
LAVENDER: Hey won won!
They both run off to make out
In potions class
RON: Man I thought we didn't have to take this course if we failed last year! This was supposed to be my spare!
HARRY: You think I'm happy about this?
FYI Slughorn just 'changed' the requirements so Harry could take his class.
RON: We don't have any books we'll have to use the spares in the back
One. Good. Book. Left. If you have ever gone to a public school, you know the rush to the books, you know how each kid runs to get the book with the least beat up spine and the least decaying pages. Ron won, walked off smirking. Harry got the tattered copy belonging to some kid named the Half Blood Prince.
SLUGHORN: Who ever makes the potion properly gets to keep my vial of Felix Felicis which is a luck potion. On your marks get set go!
Anyone with a brain and a wand goes for it.
HARRY: My book has all the answers and side notes! Awesome.
Harry wins.
DRACO: Potter.
HARRY: Malfoy
Later on at Quidditch try outs
HARRY: Who's next?
RON: me
Ron's really nervous and bumbles on to the scene barely making it. Hermione flirts with another guy trying out.
RON: He's such a douche.
HARRY: Why, because he likes Hermione or because he's tank?
RON: Psh, no because....just look at him! He's a douche!
Ginny tries out too.
HARRY (inwardly): I just realized Ginny's really good looking as well as athletic and smart. I can't believe I never picked up on this before.
Congratulations everyone, aside from Cho Chang (who didn't really go out with Harry), Harry has officially surpassed puberty.
I don't mean to say that this is the only thing that you should have learned from this installment, but I thought it was a good way to end this off with a laugh. I'll be back with more Harry Potter soon!
