Karma

Secret Is Out

I kinda like the ending to this chapter (: Not sure how long it is, honestly...

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~~Kendall’s View~~

“James, we need to talk.” I said to him as I walked out to the living room. Luckily for him, it was just he and I here. Carlos and Logan were out doing something else, but what I do not know, nor do I care what at the moment. Right now, I needed to figure out what James has been thinking about Selena.

And, honestly, he’s lucky I found out about his love before Gustavo or Griffin, or any of the other guys. Gustavo would most likely want him to date her for publicity reasons, but Griffin would most likely try to keep him away from her and her away from him.

“About what?” James asked, acting clueless, and I just rolled my eyes at him. I know that he really knows, he’s just acting like he doesn’t know.

“Selena.” I said simply. Seeing him just slightly biting his bottom lip, I instantly knew that he knows about his love for her. “You know, I don’t have anything against it. But you need to be careful on it. The girl is like the devil, but in a female’s body.” James chuckled.

“Yeah, she sure is feisty.” He said in agreement. I just nodded.

“But besides her knowing how to get to you and the rest of us, she’s Gustavo’s new project and related to Griffin. Don’t hurt her emotionally or physically, if she takes you that is.”

~*~Selena’s View~*~

For some reason, I haven’t been able to get James out of my mind.

It’s been about a week since I told Griffin I wasn’t going to act like I hate the boys, but ever since I said that to him I’ve tended to hate them more somehow and I hate it. Trust me, I want to love the guys like all the other girls my age do, but it seems nearly impossible.

I don’t know why, but it seems as if I don’t know how to open up to somebody. But maybe that is the case. Maybe I just don’t know how to open up to people, and maybe I don’t know how to truly love a person. Or maybe I’m just afraid of playing James like I play all the guys, and I would wind up leaving him.

Or maybe? Maybe I really do hate them…

~~James’ View~~

The past week has been a bit confusing with Selena.

She has been acting like she wants to open up to us more, but she never does. One moment she will be acting like the sweetest and happiest girl in the world, and the next moment she is practically acting like the devil Kendall claims she is.

However, I can only see the good in her. Just by looking at her when she talks to me, you can see that she is desperate to open up and talk, and just talk your ears off with everything going on in her mind and life. But does she? No.

I don’t know why, but again I say, I do not understand females all the time. To be honest, sometimes I don’t even understand my own friends, or any other males out there. I know, it’s strange. But everybody thinks and reacts to things differently.

I was just walking in the Palm Woods Park when I heard a sniffle not too far away from me. In fact, it sounded awfully close, as if the person was right beside me. I instantly stopped walking and looked around.

Sure enough, not all that far away after all, there was a girl sitting on a bench with her legs pulled up to her chest, hood of the hoodie up, looking off to the side as she crossed her arms. Not even fully thinking and being the kind person as always, I walked over.

“Are you okay?” I asked quietly, not even fully knowing who I was talking to.

“I’m fine.” The girl snapped. Of course, the snap sounded so familiar. It didn’t even take me a single second to figure out who it belonged to.

“Selena, talk to me…” I said to her softly as I sat down on the bench. She just sighed, not looking at me.

“You wouldn’t even understand.” She said.

~*~Selena’s View~*~

I don’t even know why James is here right now, and why he is asking me if I am okay, and wanting me to talk to him about it. The truth is, James really wouldn’t understand. Home isn’t even home anymore, and there isn’t a way that James would understand how badly I want to love him but just…can’t.

So, of course I don’t want to talk to him about any of it. What’s the point of wasting my breath over something I can’t get help with?

Times like these are the times I wish I had a mother…

Every time I have some kind of drama with a boy, I want mom. I want my mother to be here with me, telling me everything is going to be okay and that everything happens for a reason. It’s time like these that I wish I had my mother to give me some kind of advice that would really help me, or to tell me about the heartbreaks she had that wound up leading her to her happily ever after.

I know you think I could just talk to Griffin’s wife since she technically has been a mother to me for the past few years now, but even having her hasn’t been what I wanted.

When your parents are dead, no other person who takes you in can fully feel like a parent to you, no matter what they say and do for you. It just never will be the same thing. Just…no.

“Sels, you never know until you try.” James said quietly in a soft voice to me. Hearing him call me Sels was a bit different. It was one of the first nicknames I had ever gotten with this name, honestly. But, it isn’t the first time I was called that.

“I just…” I started to say and looked at him. Even though this hood hides my face a little bit by shadowing it, I can tell that James sees all the emotions in my eyes. And by looking at him, I can tell that he really does care for what I feel. I took a deep breath, and finally, I let everything go.

For the first time ever in my life, I let out everything and James just sat there and listened, taking it all in. He listened to from when I was told my parents had died, all the way up to the present day. After a while, I was becoming completely clueless to everything I was saying because I felt some kind of pride inside of me from telling him everything, and finally letting all this out. I’ve held this all in for so many years…

“…And then Griffin was saying that I would have to act like I hate all four of you guys for my reputation, which is why I have been acting like I have been. And, the truth is…I really love you guys. Especially you, James.” My eyes grew wide as I realized what I had just said.

From being so glad with letting everything out…

I just exposed my biggest secret….