Chapter 21- The Monday After (Tyler's POV)

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Tyler:

This day sucks I think to myself while mindlessly shuffling from class to class. I couldn't sleep last night so I got up early for a long run before school.  Usually when I have a lot on my mind a run helps clear my head, but not today, nothing helps. I can't get the image of Lila's sad eyes out of my brain while I rummage through my locker for my lunch that I can't find. Last night when she found me at the abandoned house she looked so relieved and genuinely happy to see me. I wanted so badly to hold her and not let go- and I almost didn't. When we hugged I could smell her sweet scent. Holding Lila close to me felt good, it felt right, like the way she always makes me feel instantly better without even trying. I was momentarily unburdened from all the things that had been weighing on my mind when her hands held my arms. The relief didn't last though because I remembered what I had to do....

Prior to Lila finding me at the abandoned house, Coach B called me to his office that morning. I knew he was going to be mad and probably yell at me some for punching Tanner at the dance, but I didn't really care. One, because Tanner had it coming to him for the way he treats girls, especially Lila. And two, I was still riding the high from the night before when Lila and I finally admitted our feelings to each other. Anyways, Coach yelled at me for awhile about being stupid enough to fight anyone, let alone a teammate. He told me he expected more from me as a senior and as the team's captain. None of the conversation was unwarranted. He was right, I shouldn't have lost my cool or fallen into Tanner's trap which was solely to get me riled up. Even if Tanner is despicable and Coach knows it, I shouldn't have gone so far. But our conversation took a turn when Coach told me most of the schools that have been highly interested in me for next year contacted him and they were reconsidering if I was the right fit for them. In their words they don't want any "hotheads" on their rosters. I guess some of the videos from the dance of me punching out Tanner went kind of viral on TikTok and Instagram. I had no idea. I was too wrapped up in Lila after the dance to check my phone the rest of the night. Anyways, I was tagged in most of the clips so it wasn't hard for the universities to catch wind of what I did.

So as Coach so kindly put it, "if I have any hope of salvaging my reputation and still earning a scholarship to a D1 school" I needed to get rid of all other distractions and prove to them how committed I am. He had done the best damage control he could with the recruiters but if I was really serious about playing college football next year then I needed to do some work. First, I needed to get my grades up. Fine, I can buckle down. Second, get in extra training on my own since I am benched for a couple weeks from the suspension. Easy, I was planning on that anyway. Third, write up some apology letters to each school explaining how this fight was extremely out of character for me and would never happen again. That's not so bad, I can handle that no problem. It truly was out of character for me. Lastly, I needed to forget all my feelings for Lila and cut things off with her...... No way, that's impossible!

I tried to fight Coach about Lila, promising it wouldn't be an issue but he wouldn't hear any of it. He told me he'd noticed how I've been distracted the last few weeks and missing simple plays that I shouldn't be. He told me I'm the most talented athlete he's had go through his program in the past 20 years and it would be a shame for me to waste my talent on a girl in high school. I didn't want to believe him, but deep down I knew he wasn't completely wrong. At least not about the being distracted part anyway, not about wasting my time on Lila. Lila does consume my thoughts most of the time. She is the best thing to happen to me in a long time, maybe even ever. I feel lighter around her. Like no matter how much pressure I put on myself, she is always going to be extremely proud of me. I'm so insanely into her that it's hard not to lose my focus. Football has always been my main priority but since Lila came into the picture it hasn't been quite as important. She has a way of doing that to me. Obviously football is still a part of who I am, but that part of me seems a little smaller when she is around. Nonetheless, Coach B made me promise I would call things off with her. Actually he didn't really give me another option so I finally conceeded. He said he was just looking out for me, and I know he thinks he is, but forcing me to distance myself from the most important person in my life is.....torture.

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