Head Over Heels

(Updated) Chapter 20- The Monday After

I woke up to the sound of my Monday morning alarm with a throbbing headache. With a groan I roll over, tucking my head back under the covers. I spent so much time replaying Tyler and I's breakup....wait can I even call it that? We only "dated" for a mere few hours. Irregardless, I hardly slept a wink last night since I kept thinking about everything he said to me at the abandoned mansion over and over again. I've got the black circles and puffy red eyes from crying to prove it.

I'm irritated with myself because I should have known better. How could I have been so naive to think that Tyler Johnson would choose me of all people? He's the senior star athlete and I'm just, well, me. I shouldn't have let my girlish fantasies delude my thinking and trick me into believing there was more to us. The truth is, Tyler and I are nothing. We were just fooling ourselves before and now we are back to realty. Tyler made it clear he has more important things in his life, like football, that he needs to focus on. I'll go back to being the single girl just like I always have been.

It's not so bad. Nothing I'm not already accustomed to. Heck, I've pretty much mastered being single at this point. Besides, I have Payton and the girls to keep me company. I don't need Tyler or any other guy for that matter. I've made it almost seventeen years solo so what's a few more? Maybe in college I'll get a boyfriend and things will be different for me?

I reluctantly crawl out of my bed and start getting ready for school. No point in putting off the inevitable any further as much as I'd like to.

***

"He didn't say more than two words to me last night when he got home. He finally showed up after we all were searching for him all day, told my parents he was sorry for being MIA, then locked himself in his room. I tried knocking but he ignored me. This morning he left early to get a workout in before school." Payton is telling the girls when I find them before first period.

"Hey Lila, did you hear from TJ at all last night? Kelly asks as I walk up.

"Yeah we spoke.....er, briefly." I do my best to keep my face neutral, the last thing I want is to get upset and start crying again.

"And? What did he say? He hasn't told me anything! He's stonewalling me!" Payton looks to me for explanation.

"Well basically the short answer is...." I clear my throat and decide to just throw it all out there. Rip the bandaid off if you will. They might as well find out from me now and get it over with. "....Tyler feels like it's better we don't see each other anymore."

"Excuse me what?!" Rachel spits out the gum she was chewing.

I steady my breathing before I keep going. "Tyler thinks it's better to not have any distractions right now. He wants to focus on football as his priority. Wanting to be with me is what messed stuff up for him with the fight with Tanner, the suspension and everything so I don't really blame him for ending things between us." I trail off.

"This has to be a joke." Payton mumbles under her breath, dumbfounded.

"Are you okay?" Claire looks to me with concern in her eyes.

I see the pity on each of my friend's faces immediately and I hate it. I don't want to be the girl who everyone is sad for. I don't even want to feel sad for myself. This all feels like way too much of a stupid high school cliché that I didn't sign up for. I was never supposed to be this girl. The one who lets someone in to immediately get blindsided. Thinking about it makes me sick.

"Yeah, I'm fine, really." I try to sound light when I lie so it's more believable. "Tyler and I, well.... I don't know what we were or if we were ever really anything. It's been a pretty confusing last two days. Maybe a lot of it was made up in my head? I don't know, but it doesn't even matter anymore. He can do his football stuff and I'll go on with my regular life. That's what he wants. I mean it's my fault this all happened anyway so I don't want to mess anything up for him further."