It’d been 3 months since Harry had last heard from Zayn, The last phone call they had ended with their adopted daughter Darcy asking him when he was coming home, He never gave her a direct answer but instead sang her a song which by the end had put her to sleep with a smile on her face. Harry never got that though, He didn’t get to hear his husbands voice while they had a normal conversation because straight after their daughter was asleep Zayn was called away back on patrol leaving only one last ‘I Love You’ to the broken man on the other end of the line.
Everyday he’d see couples in the nursery playground holding hands as they watched their children wave goodbye and enter the school and that’s when it hit Harry most that Zayn wasn’t there, He was missing everything because of a stupid dream he’s been wanting to pursue since he was 18. Everyone would give him a pat on the back and tell him he was strong for doing this on his own but the truth? He wasn’t brave because every night he’d cry himself to sleep for the very reason everyone called him a hero, having to do it on his own.
Once Darcy was safely inside the building Harry kind of froze in the playground, today was his first free day since Zayn left and he had nothing to do, no daughter to take to the park, no work to go to, no friends that weren’t working that he could go see and worst of all no husband to cuddle up on the couch with whilst they watched movies but he figured he could do that on his own too. That’s why 10 minutes later he was walking back through the apartment door sighing at the loneliness consuming him with each passing second as he walked further into the building only to be stopped by an envelope he’d seemingly missed laying on the doormat.
Harry Styles
102 Acacia Road
London
L85 GHP
As his eyes scanned the long awaited writing written effortlessly on the front his heart instantly began to pound, nerves began to kick in and his mind went into overload as trembling fingers turned the envelope around and began tearing at the seal wanting to get to the sheet inside into his own hands. Soon enough his wish was granted and eyes instantly began reading every word of what was written, Harrys eyes began to cloud with tears whilst his legs carried him over to the sofa determined to read everything.
Letter 16. Thursday 12th March 2012
Dear Haz,
It’s been 10 months, 14 days and 19 hours since I last saw you and I think I’m beginning to go slightly crazy without you. I remember when I told you this was my dream, you encouraged me saying you wouldn’t hold me back because you loved me too much but I could see the heartbreak in your eyes. I should have followed my heart that said ‘don’t break his heart, don’t go’ but I didn’t and I wish I would’ve. I don’t want to be here anymore but I can’t come home. It’s been so long since I fell asleep in your arms or even had them around me and I hate to admit it but I think I’m forgetting what they feel like.
I hope you know how sorry I am Haz, I was so selfish and I can’t even begin to imagine what this has done to you.... to Darcy. How are you both? Does she still remember me? This is killing me knowing that I’m missing everything in your lives. I should never have asked you to wait for me, this isn’t going anywhere we’re thousands of miles apart so as much as I don’t want to do this I have to say it... If you find someone else whilst I’m away don’t tell them about me okay? If they make you happy go be happy, you deserve to be.
On a positive note the men over here seem nice; I met a couple called Niall and Liam. Just like me Niall had a dream to join the army and Liam being the caring boyfriend he is followed Niall out here just to make sure he stayed safe. I’m glad you didn’t come with me, I’m glad you stayed at home with Darcy because even though this may all be a lost cause you both give me something to continue fighting for everyday I feel like giving up. Thank you.
I don’t know how long I have left on patrol out here but I hope it’s not long. Sometimes I think I can hear your voice calling for me in the wind, others I’ll see you standing in front of me holding Darcy in your arms smiling at me from the front door of our apartment as if calling me in. Oh how I wish I could walk back through that door again.
I’m running out of paper now but I promise as soon as I get some more I’ll write to you again. I can’t wait to read your next letter because then I know you’re safe. Take care of yourself and our little angel okay? Don’t let her forget me please Harry. Tell her daddy Zayn loves and misses her very much and is looking forward to the moment we can all have a sleepover in our bed.
I love you both so much,
All my love,
Your personal soldier,
Zayn x
3 times Harry read the letter and each time he didn’t know whether he should be furious with Zayn for even suggesting that he find someone new or overjoyed at the fact that his husband was safe and well. Eventually he settled for some place in-between. He immediately grabbed a pen and paper before setting them down on the coffee table in front of him desperately wanting to write a reply but no words would come to mind to describe everything he felt so hours passed of blank staring before something broke his concentration, the sound of a door opening and the giggles of his little girl.
Slowly the hushed talking and quietened down giggles began getting nearer and it was only then that Harrys eyes glanced over at the clock to see the time was 4:36, He was late picking up Darcy and someone was now in his house presumably with her. Suddenly footsteps could be heard and a little girl popped into Harrys vision with tears in her eyes and a smile on his face causing Harrys own to twist in confusion as why she had both emotions on her face.
“What’s up baby?” He questioned the little girl whilst putting his hands out for her to grab allowing him to comfort her.
“I have surprise, close eyes daddy!” The 4 year old squealed back but her dad followed her instructions all the same and that’s when he heard the second set of footsteps enter the room making Harry wonder whether there was a masked murdered in his house that had threatened her which caused the tears then forced her to come in smiling so he wouldn’t suspect anything and the answer to his suspicions was going to be answered in the next 30 seconds because the next thing he heard was the same girly voice to telling him to open his eyes.
The sight he saw in front of him was enough to take his breath away and for sobs to escape his mouth.
“ZAYN!” He yelled scrambling to his feet and practically jumping on the older man embracing him in a tight hug after placing a loving kiss on his husband’s lips.
“My patrols finished, I’m not going back there. Ever. I belong here with you and Darcy, I missed you so much” Zayn rushed out as fast as he could, there were no words to describe how happy he was at the fact they could now be a family. He wasn’t leaving them again. Suddenly all the letters, months of missing each other, time not spent together didn’t matter because Zayn was back with Harry and Darcy where he belonged.
Their first night spent together was in the king sized bed, all 3 of them watching Disney films with their very own princess and munching on mini chocolate bars and orange juice right until the point that Darcy fell asleep. That’s when the two men really looked at each other for the first time in 10 months. Despite the time apart and what Zayn had mentioned in his letters the love was still very much there and always would be, that night the two lovers fell asleep in each other’s arms with their daughter laid against their chests.
The last thought that ran through Zayn’s head was that he didn’t have to he was coming back through his front door anymore because he was already there.
