The Winter Soldiers 2.0 (Bucky Barnes X Reader)

Chapter 20 - Loss

A soft breeze flows through my hair, I could smell fresh grass and...cologne? I frown at the familiar smell, squinting my eyes as the bright sun blinds me. I hold my hand above my eyes to keep the sun away, seeing a man standing above me.

"You gonna lay here all day?"

That voice....I've heard that voice before. "Where am I? Am I dead?"

"Not yet." A cold metal hand grabs my flesh hand, pulling me up and into their arms.

I smile as my eyes adjust to my surroundings, it was my Bucky. "What's going on? I....you...we were gone. Fades away." I shake my head.

"I'm confused too. But there's another fight." He looks over at the portals opening.

"I knew I wasn't dead...there was no way I was gonna end up in heaven." I laugh. Bucky smiles and shakes his head, caressing the side of my face. I pull him and in and kiss him like it's the last time...I didn't know if I would be killed this time around...I didn't know what could possibly happen now.

We walk together through the portal with the rest of the army, seeing a dark battlefield. Steve was standing alone, he had tears in his eyes as he looks at everyone showing up to help. Across from us was a large ship, Thanos and his army were waiting.

"Avengers!" Steve yells. He holds his hand out and a hammer flies into it. "Assemble." Others let out a battle cry, we all start charging forward. I pull out my batons and form them into a staff, leaping up as we collide with the other side.

I stab my staff through an alien, electrocuting it as I kick another down. I yell out as I flip back, electrocuting another. "Hey! It's Groot!" I laugh as the tree runs beside me.

"I am Groot!"

"Oh not again." I sigh.

"Y/N?" I turn to see Steve.

I put my batons away and run into his arms. "Stevie I have no idea what's going on...but I'm glad to see you."

"I've missed you so much."

I pull out my pistol and shoot an alien behind him. "Last time I saw you....you had a beard. How long has it been?"

"Five years." He sighs.

"Damn....must've been a long five years for you."

"You have no idea." He pulls me aside and smacks and alien with his hammer.

"You gonna build furniture with that? What the hell is going on?"

"I'll explain later." He smiles. "Be careful."

"Yeah....you too." I frown as he runs off. I turn again to see Tony Stark staring at me. "I know you want to kill me....I know I've done bad things. They brainwashed us...tortured us. I'm so sorry for the pain we put your through....I am truly sorry."

Tony slightly nods, looking away as his helmet goes back on and flies away. A tear slips down my cheek...I knew he may not have forgiven me.

But it's a start.

I kneel down as the ship above starts firing at us, pulling me out of my thoughts. A shield forms around all of us, I look beside me to see a raccoon. "You have a metal arm too? How much for yours?"

"It's not for sale."

"Come on...just sell it to me. I'm gonna get it either way." He smirks.

"I am Groot!"

"Fine I'll leave her alone!" The raccoon sighs.

"I must be loosing my mind." I mutter, looking up as the ship above is destroyed.

I run away from the two and shoot at the aliens again, I throw my pistols aside as I run out of ammo, approaching a very large alien. I slide against the ground, leaning back as the alien swings its weapon at me. I flip up on its shoulders and take out a knife from my belt, stabbing its neck.

Suddenly I fall to the ground, the large alien had turned to dust. I turn to see Tony Stark was on the ground.....he saved us.

A few weeks after Tony's funeral, Sam, Bucky, and I joined Steve and Bruce. They had built a time machine...Steve had to take the stones back. After he talks with Sam and Bucky...he sees me last.

"Be careful Stevie." I smile.

"Always." He pulls me in and hugs me.

"Come back to me Steve...I need you."

"It's going to be okay, Y/N." Steve kisses my cheek and backs away.

I watch as he steps up onto the platform. "Ready, Cap? Alright. We'll meet you back here, okay?" Bruce asks.

"You bet." Steve nods, looking back at me again.

"Going quantum. Three, two, one–" Steve suddenly disappears.
"And returning in, five, four, three, two, one–"

Steve doesn't appear on the pad. Bruce looks around the equipment confused. "Where is he?" I ask.

"I don't know. He blew right by his time stamp. He should be here."

"Well, get him back." I raise my voice.

"I'm trying."

"Get him the hell back!" Sam yells.

"Hey, I said, I'm trying!"

"Guys..." Bucky stops us. We turn to see a man sitting on a bench in the distance.

I wait as Sam talks to him first, he was given Steve's shield. Bucky goes next, sitting beside him and talking for awhile.

I try my best to hold in my tears as I slowly walk over to him. He stayed back with Peggy....He was old now, he seemed happy. At peace.

He looks over at me as I sit. "I'm sorry Y/N."

"I just got you back..." I whisper.

"I just wanted one thing that was good."

"What about me?" I look over at him.

"I love her...I wanted to have a life with her."

"But I need you. I don't have a place in this world. I needed you to show me. I needed you to help me." I start to cry.

"You have Bucky...and Sam. They will help you better than I can."

"I don't want Sam, god dammit. I want my brother." I raise my voice. "I was taken away and forced to kill. I nearly killed you like twice. I had to stay in Wakanda...then when I get to see you I fade away for five years. Now that we have the chance to be normal and be a family again.....you leave. You lived a happy life knowing Bucky and I were out there being tortured."

"I gave up my life fighting for this world...I just wanted to have something I never could."

"But I need you. I need you Steve. I can't lose you again." I cry. "I don't know where to go...I don't know how these stupid cellphones work. I don't know how to properly communicate with people. I know I'm being selfish....but I need my brother."

"You'll learn...just like I did. Except I was alone. You have Bucky."

"But I want you." I sigh.

"I'm sorry Y/N." He looks down.

"I do understand, okay? I'm just upset." I shake my head.

"I want you to have this." He hands me a small notebook. "It helped me out a lot when I came back." I flip through some of its pages and smile through my tears as I see his doodles and lists of things to try. "There's only a few pages you can write on...I gave Bucky one with more empty pages. I thought you'd like this one better. It's kind of like a guide." He smiles.

"Thank you, Stevie."

I sit in his arms for awhile, watching the sunset and enjoying the time I have left with him.

I didn't know how to process this loss...and I didn't know where to go now.