Sweet Admiration (MewGulf AU)

🌞Chapter 39🌻

🌞🌻

Gulf had a dream in his light sleep. He was in the field he loved to play in when he was a child. For some reason, Gulf was in elementary school again. He stood in a familiar place, and there were many of his friends around. When they saw Gulf, they waved at him and yelled, "Come here!" Seeing his friends greet him so warmly, he jumped right in and began to play.

They ran about the field, not caring tha their clothes had become covered in mud.

The primitive smell of the earth. The fresh breeze. He began to forget about all the things that had happened in Tokyo.

While he played, he lost track of time, and the sun began to sink down into the sky. One by one, his friends seemed to disappear.

As evening fell on the park, Gulf realized that he was all alone. Since he had been left behind, he knew he should go home, but for some reason, he couldn't remember how to get there. He had often played here, yet he couldn't remember how to get to the road home. Gulf was depressed.

The sky kept getting darker.

What should I do? I can't go home. Uneasiness flooded his chest and Gulf started to feel frightened. Hugging his knees to his chest, he looked up at the sky. It was slowly getting darker. Just then, he heard the sound of grass crunching behind him. As he turned around, he saw a silhoutte walking slowly towards him.

It was Mew.

However, it was Mew as he had looked that summer they had spent together, when he was still in junior high.

Mew walked up to the surprised Gulf, smiled kindly, and held out his hand. "Gulf. I came to get you. It's late, so let's go home."

Gulf was silent.

"Come on, let's go home. To our house."

Gulf kept looking at Mew, but couldn't move. He really wanted to take Mew's outstretched hand and be held against his chest, but he couldn't. He was frozen. All he could do was stare up at Mew's face.

Then he woke up. He leapt out of bed and looked around. Of course, he was in his own quiet room, no one else was there. The faint early morning light peeked through the curtains.

He sluggishly climbed out of bed. He had trouble sleeping the night before. He kept falling in and out of light sleep, so when he woke up, he didn't feel refreshed at all. His head felt heavy.

He began cooking breakfast as usual, a simple one of toast, ham and eggs. As soon as it was ready, Mew woke up and came in the room.

"Gulf."

Mew saw him standing in the kitchen, and came right up to him, peering at his face. "Did something happen with Art?"

"No."

"I know that can't be true. Did he say something to you? What was it?"

"Nothing. It's between him and I. Stay out of it," he forcefully said, without making eye contact.

Mew suppressed whatever he had wanted to say, and sighed tiredly. "Okay, then."

It was the first time Gulf had ever talked to him like that. Mew became quiet and said nothing further.

It was too painful being all alone in the condo with just Mew, so Gulf was relieved when he arrived at work. The usual morning sights, the usual familiar faces.

However, the only reason he was relieved was because he had escaped the nervous atmosphere of being with Mew. He knew that running away wouldn't solve his problem. What Art told him the night before was still weighing heavily on his heart. Mew and Art had a telationship. Maybe it was because they weren't real brothers that Art adored Mew so much and was so obsessed with him. If Gulf were Art, he would probably love Mew, too. He was that charming.

But he had a problem with Mew's part in it. Gulf had thought Art's obsession had only been one-sided. Thinking about how they interacted with each other, it was hard to believe that they had been involved. He had even believed Mew when he had told him Art's kiss meant nothing to him.

He had been captured by Mew's kisses. He had been so kind, and kissed Gulf liked he was the only one that mattered to him, so he thought that meant that Mew loved him.

But if he said Art's kiss meant nothing to him, maybe it was the same with Gulf. Mew had said a kiss was like a greeting to him, so maybe he had just gotten so close to Gulf that it was just a way of expressing that closeness, and it didn't mean anything at all. Gulf realized that he was starting to believe what Art had said, and was stunned.

Even though he had accused Art of lying at that tine, now he eas leaning more towards the idea that it was really true. He wanted to believe it was a lie, but he just couldn't. The main reason was because of his own lack of self-confidence. He wasn't confident that Mew loved him.

The other night, he had gathered up the courage to tell Mew he wanted to be with him. To Gulf, it was once in a lifetime confession. But Mew hadn't said anything. All he did was hold his hand. Maybe that was the most considerate thing Mew could have done.

Ahh, stop it! The more he thought about it, the more he lost confidence and got depressed.

He was getting distracted from his work. During a meeting with a client, he paid no attention and was scolded by Kao. Then, he had to draw up some project plans, but they were full of mistakes and he got lectured again. As he apologized, he felt the void grow bigger inside of him. Because of all his mistakes, he had to work late, but he was kind of thankful for it.

He was afraid to go home and face Mew. He might say something to him. He might just completely lose it. He had no idea what he might do, and he was afraid.

TBC