Chapter 8: Facing fear - Age 18

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Rose's POV

I got home later that evening. I sighed as I hung my jacket away. I sighed again afterward and just stood there.

"Rose?"

I turned around and saw papa. I sighed again. "Hey, papa."

He seemed to notice immediately I wasn't doing that well. He wrapped his arm around my shoulders. "Come," He led me to the living room, where dad was watching tv. "Sit down, princess."

I sat down and saw how papa nudged dad. Dad looked at me and seemed to notice the same thing as papa.

"Honey," Dad started. "What's wrong?"

I shrugged and looked down, at my hands. I was fidgeting with my fingers. I wasn't in the mood to explain the entire situation and, at the same time, I wanted them to ask me about it. I guess I did want their advice.

"Did something happen with your friend?" Papa asked but soon added: "The one you were with this evening."

I gulped.

"Did they do anything wrong?" Dad asked gently.

I looked at them. "No, she's the best," I looked down, sighing. I then realized I may have been too enthusiastic about 'my friend'. "It's me," I sighed. "I'm to blame."

"Princess," Papa started. "I don't see how you can be blamed for anything," He paused for a bit. "Can you tell us what happened?"

I gulped.

"Or do we have to guess?" Dad asked, I could tell he was trying to comfort me. 

I couldn't help but smile a bit at that. I nodded.

"Ok," Dad said, seemingly thinking about what he could ask. "Did it happen tonight?"

I nodded.

"Was someone else involved?" Papa tried.

I nodded again.

"Was it a bad thing?" Dad asked.

I shook my head a bit.

"So it was something you did, right?" Papa recapped what I had said before.

I nodded.

They sighed, clearly a bit confused about what it could be. "Did someone hurt you?" Dad tried.

I shrugged.

"Princess," Papa said, making me look at him. "Could you help us out?" He paused before adding: "I don't mind guessing what might have happened but I'd rather just skip to the part where we can help you out."

Dad slowly nodded, seemingly agreeing with what papa was saying.

I gulped. "I had a date this evening," I gulped again, I was so afraid of what they might say. Even though, I knew they probably would accept me. I guess the fear was just irrational but it was real to me... "With my girlfriend." There, I said it!

Dad and papa looked at each other, they shared a look before looking at me again. "Did she say anything that hurt you?" Papa tried.

I sighed. "She wants us to be open," I looked down. "We've been together for a few months now but we haven't really gone out in public, I'm just..." I sniffled.

"You're afraid," Papa said as he put his hand on mine. "You worry about what others may say."

I looked at him. I slowly nodded. "How did you... know?"

They both showed me a small smile. "We're gay too, honey," Dad said. "We've been through the same thing," He let out a deep breath. "It isn't easy," He put his hand on mine too now, so by now we were all just holding hands. "But trust me, it gets better when you get over that fear."

I looked down again. "I don't know how to..."

"You're wrong," Papa said, gaining my attention again. "You're stronger than you think, princess," He showed me a gentle smile. "And I'm sure that with your girlfriend by your side, you'll be able to face whatever critique people might have."

Dad nodded, again agreeing with what papa was saying.

I looked from them to the side, to nothing in particular. Hearing them say these things, made me feel... Motivated... Encouraged... Excited... I just wanted to deal with it, for Cora. I looked at my fathers and smiled. "I can try."

They smiled even more. "That's all anyone can ask."

I smiled more and leaned closer to them, hugging them both tightly.

________________________________

I walked through the hallways of the school. I was looking around for Cora. I wanted to talk to her. I needed to talk to her.

I arrived at her locker and saw Dara and Naheed there, as Dara's locker was near Cora's. I went to them. "Hey guys, have you seen Cora?"

They looked at me. "She's in the restroom," Dara replied. "Why?"

Naheed smiled at me. Somehow, it seemed as if he knew why I was looking for Cora. "Go to her."

I smiled and nodded before hurrying to the restroom.

I entered and looked at the stalls. I then came across a stall that was locked. I smiled. "Cora?"

"Yes, Rose?"

I smiled more, hearing her voice. "I need to tell you something."

"Uhm..." She seemed a bit distracted. "Ok."

I took a deep breath. "You were right," I gulped. "It's stupid that we've never gone out for a date, or that we've never kissed or got close contact," I gulped again. "Truth is, I want all of that, I want you."

Cora didn't reply, I guess she was just listening to me.

"The times I've thought about kissing you..." I sighed. "I can't count them on my fingers," I gulped. "I want to kiss you so badly, and I want to make out in your bed, and..." I giggled. "I want to do so many things with you."

Suddenly the lock opened.

I smiled until the door opened and I saw that it wasn't Cora who exited the stall. The girl looked at me weirdly before leaving the restroom.

"Rose?"

I looked to my left and saw Cora exit a stall a bit further away. I gulped.

She seemingly immediately understood the embarrassment I just went through and smiled at me. "Well, that was awkward..." She joked.

Soon enough, I smiled. "Yeah..."

"I don't know how to feel about this though," She walked to me. "The fact you want to do all of that with her..."

My jaw dropped before I noticed her smile. I playfully nudged her. "You're the worst!"

"I like you too, Rose," She smiled at me. "And thank you for telling me this," She let out a breath. "I need to hear this."

I nodded.

"Can I?" She asked as she showed me she wanted to wrap her arms around me.

"Yes," I smiled. "You can."

She smiled too and wrapped her arms around me. She held me for a while, and I let her. It took me a bit but I eventually wrapped my arms around her too. And when I did that, I let out a content sigh. This was the start of a better relationship. I knew it.

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