Symphony - Tsukishima Kei

Friends Aren't Touchy

"Tsukishima, I've really enjoyed everything you've been able to give me in these past few months but I have to end our friendship here. I think we're getting too comfortable with each other and that goes against my entire brand of wanting to die alone and by myself. So sorry bestie."

That was what I was planning to say to my new friend. I had it all figured out, it was going to be dramatic and heartfelt.

So why the hell am I laying beside him on a large blanket, looking up at the stars? I wasn't supposed to see him ever again! Like dude...we got pillows and extra blankets, snacks, drinks- literally everything.

"So we can cross camping off the list now, right?" He turns his head to look at me but I keep my gaze up as I nod.

Truth be told, I like Tsukishima. Not in a romantic way, but I enjoy his presence and I find myself unable to say no to him lately.

And that's landed me here, two weeks out from our fancy dinner when that was supposed to be the last time I seen him.

He's a very understanding guy. He's funny, kind, and doesn't freak out when I joke about things I probably shouldn't joke about. He makes me feel a little less miserable. Just a teensy bit. I know I shouldn't let our friendship go any further than this, I know that it'll only end up hurting us both.

So that's why, before either of us could really get attached to our friendship, I've decided that...

"I set a date." I blurt out quietly, refusing to look at him.

"A date? For...?" He trails off with much uncertainty in his tone.

"Tsukishima..." I sigh, closing my eyes. "You know."

Silence falls upon us and a bad feeling twists in my gut. Unable to take the quietness I begin to ramble.

"I just think it's time, you know? You have been a really great friend and this has nothing to do with you but I'm just not happy. I haven't been for a very long time. Even though I was against it at first, being with you and experiencing all of those things with you has made life a little bit better but I still just can't. I know you probably think that I'm just being dramatic but it's truly so hard and exhausting feeling like this all the time."

"I see." Tsukishima says right after and for some reason my chest tightens.

He sits up and turns his body towards me. I slowly sit up as well, biting my lip.

A small yelp escapes me once he pulls me forward and wraps his arms around me, letting his head rest on my shoulder. I tense up for a second but relax as I gingerly wrap my arms around him as well.

"I want to be selfish. Even though you just confessed that it's hard to live like this, I want to ask you to change your mind." He mumbles, turning his head so that it's in the crook of my neck. "When is it?"

"Exactly a month from today." I whisper, gulping.

His arms tighten around me at that and he lets out a long breath, the hot air tickling my skin.

"I want to graduate with you." He whispers and I shiver as I feel him begin to trail his finger along my back. "Can you do that?"

"Tsukishima..."

"I know it's a lot, I know that. But we only have a few more months left of school and I want to experience that with you. I really want to experience that one last thing with you. Please." He begs, and I can feel myself giving in before I even register all of his words.

"I-I'll think about it." I mumble and he lifts his head up, looking down at me.

"Alright. That's good enough for me." He smiles and my cheeks heat up.

This man...I'm going to spontaneously combust.

"Tsukishima...what are we doing?" I ask, releasing my arms from him and slightly pushing him away. "Friends aren't touchy like this. Even though I don't have any- I'm smart enough to know that." I roll my eyes and he lets out a small chuckle.

"Do you not like it?" He asks while scratching the back of his head. "Sorry...this is all new to me too so if you're uncomfortable then-"

"I never said that." I cut him off and he looks at me in slight surprise. "I don't hate it. Just wanted to make sure we're on the same page."

He raises an eyebrow, taking my hand in his before raising it to his lips and placing a kiss on my knuckles.

"Oh?" He smirks. "What page is that?"

I cover my face the best I can with my free hand and quickly look away. I can feel his smile grow because he knows damn well I'm blushing right now.

What is with this guy? Seriously??

"The friend page. Obviously." I clear my throat and he laughs.

"Right. Of course." He grins when I look at him again. "Alright, enough of this. Let's go into the tent for the night, yeah? It's kind of cold out here."

And so we do exactly that. We move all the snacks and stuff into the tent Tsukishima brought along and then we lay next to each other (a bit too close, but neither of us mind).

He continues to tell me about everything we could do together before we graduate and insists on me making a list of stuff I want to do no matter how expensive it is.

And then we fall asleep. Well...kind of. We both lay there with our eyes closed but consciously aware of how close the other person is. He's the one to make the first move, wrapping his arm around me as if it's a habit of his as he sleeps. So then I conveniently roll into his arms, snuggling into his body

At this point the both of us know neither of us are asleep, but we keep quiet. Small smiles on our faces as we fall asleep for real this time.