BILLIE'S NIGHTMARE

Chapter 19

"If you want that car, you will get straight A's. No exceptions."

Where is that now? Where was that request that she had placed before me? We had an agreement, I kept my part and she slipped through hers. I didn't want a car, I wanted my car. I can't accept it when she was so clearly able to get me what I wanted, but she simply chose not to. I always did as she said, accordingly and without much of a fuss. One thing. I asked for one thing. But all she gave me was a sharp blade through my back and a hammer to my heart. That's all she ever seems willing to give me.

I lay on my bedroom carpet, weeping my sorrows away. Letting the tears drown me in my despair, and I soak into the agony, having no other promising source to hold on to. My sadness, pain and anger seems to be the only thing that never betrays me. From Tìo Carlos, to my mother and, who the hell knows, maybe even Josh potentially. Before all of this, I was walking on water. But the thunderstorm wasn't the one to take me off my feet and let me drown, it was the taunts and teases coming from the ones I truly thought I loved. Just as I am nobody, I have nobody.

"You'll always have me."

My head shot up, and I dart my eyes around the room, searching the source of the voice I had heard. It sounded like a whisper in my ear, but nobody was next to me. Until I remembered the familiar voice. It was me. The me I saw in my dream, young, hopeful, soaking in clouds full of dreams, eyes sparkling with limitless joy and happiness.

"Billie?" I called, looking around. I needed her. Now, I needed her more than anything. She promised me she would make me feel that way again. Fearless, careless. No matter what life throws at her, she tosses it right back even if it were a ball of flames. She would pick it up and bear the burn in her hands and throw it right back with more force. But not me. Not Elizabeth. Not the girl Christell raised. She is a blob of fear and anxiety, listing concerns and outcomes before she does anything, overthinking constantly and unable to stand up for herself. She needs Billie. She needs Billie to show her how to be brave. Desperately.

"I can help you." she says, her voice laced with menace.

"Help me." I said, getting up and looking around.

"One condition."

"Say it."

"Lend me a piece of you."

My eyebrows furrow.

"What does that mean?" I asked. She didn't reply. Why wouldn't she reply. Is she gone? She can't go. I need her.

"Billie?"

"Lend me a piece of you." she repeats.

"But what-"

"Lend me a piece of you."

"Yes. Yes, please, just...just help me."

Silence. I look around, blinking down a tear and it runs down my cheek. The silence eats away at me and for a second I thought she was gone.

But the sudden cold that starts from the tip of my toes to the top of my head shocks through my body like a bolt of lightening. My entire body goes numb, I release a loud gasp before I could barely feel my feet on the ground. My lids close, although I wasn't the one that made them. I let out a breath, and a mist escapes my mouth, like it is when you exhale in a cold weather. I feel myself roll my shoulders back and forth, flex my fingers and stand on my tip toes. I clear my throat and a very deep voice escapes.

"Don't worry, Elizabeth. I'll help you." I say, and I realize that I'm not the one in control of my body. I can feel what I do, see what I do, but I'm not the one doing it. She is...Billie is?