A Game Of Hide and Seek - A Bucky Barnes Short story

Chapter 8

Bucky was a walking mess. Everyone in the Avengers compound had been hit hard by the abduction of, arguably, their favorite person in the whole world, but Bucky took it way harder. Bucky at first took care of himself in the first week as they set out to find Cassidy, but after that he spiralled down quickly.

His nightmares became bad, worse than before because Cassidy was not there to help him and they mostly consisted of her. He became obsessive in finding his girl, charging into Hydra bases with unbridled fury and collapsing into a broken heap in the jet when they soon found that Cassidy was not there. He ate little and slept fitfully, nightmares of Cassidy filling his head at night and making him wake up panicked. He steadfastly refused to let out his worst emotions in front of anyone, locking himself away to scream and cry inside the sound proof walls of his room. He trembled at what could be happening to her, sobbing at how he had let it happen.

He couldn't survive without her, he couldn't, not again. If she died then he died, end of story. No one could ever come close to replacing her. Bucky could barely look at himself in the mirror, seeing how broken he had become because his girl was captured and probably being tortured all because he didn't protect her. He couldn't look at himself and see the reason she was gone.

He threw himself into training when he was not analyzing information on Cassidy's whereabouts and storming compounds as a way to distract himself. He kept the glove on him or around him at all times, it was his reminder of why he had to keep living and breathing enough to get to her. It also reminded him of her small hands that he always loved to marvel at and hold. He missed her small hands that would run through his hair when he was sleepy, or rub his back when he had a bad nightmare, or compare her hands to his, and her fingers tracing over his scars and metal arm as she loved holding his metal hand.

Bucky would stare at all the pictures of them together that Cassidy made him take when she figured out how to use a phone camera and his tears would blur his vision of Cassidy's smiling face, remembering the special smiles that were just for him. The smile that made him smile for the first time in a long time a few years ago. He cuddled her shirts and blankets that felt like her, he wore the hoodies and shirts of his that he knew were her favorite to wear, and he would go into her room to smell her shampoo or perfume to get anything that smelled like her. He would sometimes sleep in her bed because it was just all her.

But none of it was her, and he wanted her. It suffocated him.

The team comforted him as best they could and each other. Steve was like a giant nervous tick as he hovered like a magnet over any information. Natasha zoned out and monotonically took to her tasks. Tony started being more demeaning as Cassidy was not there to banter with and he was pissed that he, the genius, couldn't find her. Rhodey became frustrated as his usually blunt self could not be dulled by her witty remarks. Sam ate little as the food he usually ate reminded him of her and their talks. Wanda cried herself to sleep as she thought she did not do enough. Vision, being Vision, sat and thought over things for hours. Clint anxiously fiddled with anything in reach as he stressed, wearing out the fidget toys Cassidy had bought him as a joke. Bruce became quiet as he stayed in the labs, listening to the classical music he needed to calm down.

The compound had quickly become quiet and mournful, as if the color had dulled around them because Cassidy was not there to show them how beautiful everything was. They tirelessly fought and searched for her.

Hoping to bring her home.