The Radiant Reira

12. Expression

It was the day after, and Orion decided to take a walk and think about what happened the night before. Still lost, still emotional. His eyes were puffy and he was tired, but not from a lack of sleep. It was a Sunday, he had slept in for a few hours.

He was tired of the pain, of being broken, of feeling like he was small. His parents were a lot to deal with, they were his source of stress and he knew he had every right to be angry. He knew he could be despairing, viewing life the way it presented itself to him. He knew he could get into the scene that involved drinking and getting wasted every weekend in order to numb the affliction. Fighting for love and happiness could be viewed as a total waste, and he could live a life of bitterness and regret like his mother. There were so many options yet, he would never act upon those thoughts because he most importantly knew that life... was too short.

While walking, he thought of the time Reira explained that "you are the universe and these 75+ years we're living aren't even close to how long it's existed." He didn't fully understand what that meant, in fact, it didn't make sense to him at the time. But for every step he took during his walk, he thought more and more about how none of his problems really held any intrinsic value in the grand scheme of things. It's a cycle where one is born, they live, then they die, all in the span of about 75-ish years. Is the anger and pain worth holding on to? Was vengeance and resentment a good option to look into? Orion could simply dig himself down a miserable pit.

He began to walk outside his neighborhood, a couple of miles later he found himself in Reira's neighborhood. Her parents were walking to their car ready to spend time together, and all he could think about was his parents. He realized that they never looked pleased to see one another, he can't even remember the last time they showed affection towards each other.

Reira's dad saw him across their driveway, "Hey there Ryan!"

"Hello sir!" He waved

"Is that the boy?" Reira's mother said as she turned to her husband

"Yeah." He said, "Hey Ryan, why don't you come here and meet my wife?"

Orion walked over to say hi and ask how they're both doing.

"I hope you know that we appreciate how kind you've been to our sweet Reira." She smiled.

He was surprised, "oh, really?"

"Yes, you've helped her a lot, it's been a bit hard moving here for her." Her Dad said.

"I'm sure you know she is a free spirit," Her mother said.

"Yeah, she is," Orion looked down and smiled.

"You've been a real friend and it's been nice to see her become more-"

Reira walked into the garage to find her parents and her crush conversing, it was an unexpected scene for her. "Mama you left your phone..."

"Oh thank you hon...well we have a lunch reservation to attend to, it was nice seeing you Ryan. We'll see you later sweetheart" Her Mom said as she kissed Reira on her forehead.

Reira and Orion both waved goodbye. The pair were together once again.

Reira invited him in and she finished baking a fresh batch of cookies. He went to the kitchen to chat with her and he took a moment to look at Reira. No makeup, no fancy dress, she looked like how any average girl would look like staying home on a Sunday. However, to him, he still saw a beautiful girl with the same radiant soul. For a second, he had forgotten what had happened last night. She took the cookies out of the oven while he stood there in silence. The smell of baked goods, plus the presence of this girl, made him feel a sense of tranquility. She turned her head and apologized for her father misnaming him, then she asked why he was wandering around her neighborhood. "Did you miss me already?" She grinned.

"Yeah" He looked down and then he looked at her again, "I do."

She could see in his face that something was up, he looked exhausted and low-spirited. "Are you okay? She asked sympathetically.

"No." He had a lost look in his eyes. She gave him a hug without saying anything, he began to take a deep breath as he felt her compassion. Reira strongly believed in making good use of the 75+ years she had, she believed that boys could be a bit of a waste for her but not him. She was patient and she loved being there for him. He was there for her and had been for the past two weeks, it was only right for her to return the favor, but for much longer.

They both released from the hug and had an eye to eye moment, except he didn't want to kiss her, not now at least, not like this, not in her kitchen. To him, Reira deserved someone who would treat her like the lady she is, she deserved something special and that moment was not the right time for him. She grabbed the bowl of cookies and she grabbed his hand to go to the living room.

"What's up?" Reira smiled

"I want to add something to our project." He said.

"I thought that we had everything prepared."

He looked down and sighed, "You know how you said you wanted to include my story in our project somehow and I kept refusing?"

Reira nodded.

"I want to do that. I want to include my story and create something meaningful to me."

Reira nodded again, but with a smile of solace. "So why do you want to do this all of a sudden? You seemed to be very content with our four comparisons."

"I think we need five." He said, "Also, I went through a lot last night and I can tell you all about it as we do the project, but I need to do this. I know it's not a big deal to anyone but it would really help me if I included my story in the project, I don't know exactly how it'll help but-" He stopped himself before he'd continue to ramble.

"Of course I'll help you Orion." She reassured him, "I just wanted to know why you wanna do this all of a sudden, but anyways, you know I'm more than happy to help you." She smiled

The pair enjoyed what Reira baked and they engaged on what Orion had in mind. It was true that he wasn't sure of exactly how incorporating his story would help him, in actuality, he made that decision impulsively right when he sat down on the couch.

In order to express the feelings of sorrow, he needed to do it through creativity rather than through speaking or through pitying himself. His experience of working with Reira meant something special, but adding his own story that he's dwelled on for a long time, may somewhat set him free. He had hope in that belief, but if all doesn't work well, at least the project would hold something a lot more consequential for him.

Orion made his choice.