Trying to have peace

Your true self

yThey were all stunned .It was like Natasha materialized from air.She appeared in front of them in the worst moment.The Avengers and the director were all frozen ,until they saw Nat falling and hitting the floor.They put her on the sofa and started to think what they will tell her when she wakes up.

"She's waking up."said Pepper,stroking Natasha's hair and trying to make the kindest smile ever.She didn't wanted to scare her after the news ,so she tried the friendliest face she could make in that situation.Pepper couldn't imagine how hard is for Nat to find out that her blood family wants to kill her."How are you feeling, sweetie ?"

"Yelena is my sister."said Natasha ,sitting up on the sofa ."Yelena,the woman who tortured me and laughed when I cried......she is my SISTER."her voice was raising,so did the panic inside her.

"Natalia,calm down ,everithing will be ok."traied Steve to calm her.He didn't know what else he could tell her in this situation.Nat started to go back and forth in the room.

"OK?EVERITHING IS FALLING APART IN MY LIFE RIGHT NOW!"she couldn't stop her voice from rising. Suddenly,her face went blank with the unexpected realisation"Is my name even Natalia? What's my family name?Do I have a birth certificate?".The hysteria in her voice was clear.

Clint lead her to the table."Why don't you stay down?Maybe it will make you feel better?"

"I can make you a special sandwich.Maybe it will make you feel better."said Pepper going to the kitchen.

"Make me one too!"shouted Tony.

"NO!"responded Pepper.

Until Pepper was making the sandwich,the team stayed at the table with Natasha.Clint and Tony were trying to make Nat laught,but with no success.Bruce and Fury were texting the SHIELD therapist and Steve was looking at a newspaper for dogs that could be adopted.After 8 minutes Tony and Clint gave up.They let Natasha with her thoughts ,in her mind.They knew she didn't hear them after the way her eyes were only fixed on the glass of water in front of her for the past 8 minutes.They could imagine her brain was full of questions ,and who wouldn't have his brain like that in her case.

Pepper brought Natasha her sandwich."You know why this sandwich is special?Is an omelette sandwich !It can be good for breakfast and for lunch!How crazy is this!" Pepper tried to lighten the mood.

Natasha stand up suddenly ."I am russian."

Silence.The Avengers didn't know what to say.

"I am the same like the people who tortured me."

"Natasha,that's not true. You-"started Steve to say when he realised his mistake.

"Natasha?Not Natalie.My names is not Natalie,is it?"

"Its the same thing."

"No,its not .Its like Steve and Steven.I don't even know my name!"Nat started crying.

'Ok,but what is a name?A rose by any other name would smell as sweet" said Tony.

"A name is part of the flower .What is the flower without a name?A f###ing NOBODY!"

"Language!"said Steve.

"THE LANGUAGE IS ONE OF THE PROBLEMS!Why I don't speak russian?Why I don't understand russian?Why I speak English?"

That was the last thing she said to them before she closed the door.Steve tried to talk with her more but the door was looked.

The next morning,Steve saw only Pepper in the kitchen.

"Hey,Pepper!Where are the others?"

"Well it is Sunday,so Clint leaves for 2 days like always. Tony is in his lab and is trying to make a robot dog for Nat and Bruce is helping him.I a worried for Natasha.She didn't go out of her room."

"Well,the sandwich is not on the table anymore..."

"You are right!At lest she ate something!"

"I go to check on her"

The door wasn't locked this time.He knocked,and after he didn't receive any answer,Steve opened the door.He was surprised when he saw the room was a mess.All the drawers were open.On the floor were a lot of papers and on the bed an empty plate.But he couldn't see Nat.Steve looked around the room and he saw Natasha sleeping on the floor,behind her bed,over the talkboard of her laptop.He heard a sound and when Steve looked in that direction he saw a black cat on Natasha's bed.

"What happened here ,Natasha?"

Steve didn't want to wake her up,but he couldn't let her in this room.Steve opened the window and carried Nat downstairs,in the leaving room.Pepper was scared when she saw Steve carrying Natasha in his arms,until he signed her to be quiet.He put nat on the sofa.

"OMG!Is she ok?"

"She is just sleeping.I want to clear her room,it's all a mess.After the last night....I should have told her that her name is Natasha and she is a russian spy.But instead I let her live in a fantasy where she is Natalia,an American agent."

"It's not your faut.We all lied because we care about her and we wanted for her to be happy.How bad can be the room?"

Steve and Pepper went to Natasha's room.

"Wow!"

"And that's not all."

Pepper looked a little confused until she saw the cat.

"Since when does Natasha have a cat?"

"I don't know."

"Hey little one"said Pepper coming closer to the cat,but the animal sprinted out of the room and said on the armchair next to the sofa.

"I guess she likes only Natasha." said Pepper."I will help you clean this.What do you thing she was searching?"

"Searching?"now Steve was confused.

"Look at all this papers.She must have been searching for something.But what?"

"Maybe the answer to all this questions is on her laptop."said Steve,holding Natasha's laptop.

"It feel so wrong to look at her search history."

"I am surprised it is not locked."

"This is a laptop from Stark industry.I think Nat knows on it is not any valuable information ,so she didn't put a password on it."

"Makes sense."

"Steve,look at this results."Pepper voice was full of pity for Natasha."We shouldn't have lied to her"

Steve felt bad for Nat too when he looked at her search history.There were things like: "russian alphabet ";"russian history";"words in russian";"is Natasha a russian name".

"She was trying to find more about her.....can you look after Nat,i have something to do"said Steve.

"Of course,but where are you going?"

After 11 hours Steve cames back home.

"Look who finally showed up !Where have you been?"said Tony.

"Where's Natasha?'

"Ah...lovers .Your Juliet is in her room with her cat. Apparently ,she doesn't need a new pet anymore."

Steve hurried To her room.He knocked and was happy when she let him in.

"Sorry i'm late"

"You don't have to be sorry.Not for that anyway.What do you want"said Nat not looking back at him and continuing to look on the window.

''Are you mad at me?"

"You entered in my room without my permission,looked at my search history and moved me on the sofa."

"Ok,it was wrong,but I hope this will help ."Steve said giving her a folder.

"What is this?"

"When you were hurt,I used to read you book.Now,I give you something to read on your own.Belive me,this was the hardest thing to take.I negotiated for 9 hours with Fury to convince him to give me this."

Natasha looked at the folder."Who is Agent Romanoff?"

"Loook inside and find out."

Before closing the door Steve said"I didn't lie you.You were born Natalia."